Question for any wordsmiths

Soapweed · Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2005 9:16 am Post subject: Question for any wordsmiths

In trying to write our annual Christmas letter in poetry form, I have encountered a problem. In describing the mountains in Alaska, the line is, "Looking up at their majesty, our awe was held with enthrall." Is this correct, or should it be, "our awe was held enthrall".

Please hurry with your answers, as time is getting to be a factor. Wink

Peach Blossom is becoming impatient. Smile

Mike · Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2005 9:25 am Post subject: Re: Question for any wordsmiths

the_jersey_lilly_2000 · Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2005 9:26 am Post subject:

The way I always figure it out is to find it in the dictionary, and use what words it gives in place of the one I'm trying to use, if it makes sense use it. if not........here's what I"m talkin about

enthrall: To hold spellbound; captive

ok take the word captive and use it in place of enthrall.......

"Looking up at their majesty, our awe was held with captive".....hmmmm dont sound right....
or
"our awe was held captive"

so I'd say the correct one would be

"our awe was held enthrall".

Soapweed · Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2005 9:29 am Post subject: Re: Question for any wordsmiths

the_jersey_lilly_2000 · Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2005 9:33 am Post subject:

was held enthrall,( captive, spellbound.....)

if you use enthralled, you would say....we were enthralled...

Big Muddy rancher · Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2005 9:37 am Post subject:

You could just use;
Looking up at their majesty, I said look y'all. Cowboy

the_jersey_lilly_2000 · Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2005 9:39 am Post subject:

hahahaha I can see him sayin that....while grabbin a coat sleeve and turnin em toward the mountains.

Soapweed · Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2005 9:42 am Post subject:

Here is the preceeding line: We drove the car and saw some sights; the mountains were very tall.

I might go with: Looking up at their majesty, we felt insignificant and small.

Or better yet, Wink

Looking up at their majesty, I felt like a gnat on a bathroom wall.

Faster horses · Rancher Joined: 11 Feb 2005 Posts: 19605 Location: SE MT

How about changing it to "We were captivated with awe"?

Just a thought. Might be easier to get the other line you are working with to rhyme with 'awe.'

"We drove the car and saw some sights, the mountains were very tall;
Looking at their majesty, we were captivated with awe."

Rhymes in my book....

feeder · Member Joined: 12 Feb 2005 Posts: 951 Location: Iowa

I like the gnat on the bathroom wall!!! LOL

Faster horses · Rancher Joined: 11 Feb 2005 Posts: 19605 Location: SE MT

Sure gives the right dimension, doesn't it?

nr · Rancher Joined: 10 Feb 2005 Posts: 2823 Location: DE

Working off of Faster Horses' idea how about:
"We drove the car and saw some sights, the mountains towering tall;
Looking at their majesty, we were overcome with awe."

or your "insignificant and small" part.

I'm impressed, Soap, as usual that you'd try doing a Christmas letter
in poetry when it is hard enough just getting the cards out for some of us.
You and Shakespeare.

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