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Subject: Political Correctness

 
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katrina
Rancher
Rancher


Joined: 14 Feb 2005
Posts: 7792
Location: East north east of Soapweed

PostPosted: Wed Mar 08, 2006 9:06 am    Post subject: Subject: Political Correctness Reply with quote

Subject: Subject: Political Correctness

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America,
Kentuckians,
Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as
"Hillbillies."
You must now refer to us as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

And furthermore......

1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."

2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."

3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."

4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE
> > INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."

5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."

6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."

7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY
INCONVENIENCED."

8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."

9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."

10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."

11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY
SUPERIOR."

12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a "BEER GUT " - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN
STORAGE FACILITY."

2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE
DESTINATIONS."

4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."

5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL
RELATIONSHIPS."

6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY
HORIZONTAL."

7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of
"RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."

8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."

9. He is afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."

10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."

11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR
CLEAVAGE."



Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America,
Kentuckians,
Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as
"Hillbillies."
You must now refer to us as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

And furthermore......

1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."

2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."

3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."

4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE
> > INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."

5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."

6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."

7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY
INCONVENIENCED."

8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."

9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."

10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."

11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY
SUPERIOR."

12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a "BEER GUT " - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN
STORAGE FACILITY."

2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE
DESTINATIONS."

4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."

5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL
RELATIONSHIPS."

6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY
HORIZONTAL."

7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of
"RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."

8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."

9. He is afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."

10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."

11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR
CLEAVAGE."


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the_jersey_lilly_2000
Rancher
Rancher


Joined: 16 Feb 2005
Posts: 11266
Location: South East Texas

PostPosted: Wed Mar 08, 2006 9:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Clap Laugh Clap Laugh Clap Laugh Too funny!!!


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Jinglebob
Rancher
Rancher


Joined: 14 Feb 2005
Posts: 5974
Location: Western South Dakota

PostPosted: Wed Mar 08, 2006 1:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

And I had just learned all the original words! Mad


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OldDog/NewTricks
Rancher
Rancher


Joined: 24 May 2005
Posts: 3272
Location: The Dam End of Silicon Valley

PostPosted: Wed Mar 08, 2006 1:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have a Question:

Is "BREASTED AMERICAN" Season Before Or After Duck Season Question

As a Cook I'd like to try:
BREASTED AMERICAN sauce over WHITE TAIL Exclamation


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katrina
Rancher
Rancher


Joined: 14 Feb 2005
Posts: 7792
Location: East north east of Soapweed

PostPosted: Wed Mar 08, 2006 1:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Old Dog,........ YOUR WICKED!!!!!!!!!!!


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OldDog/NewTricks
Rancher
Rancher


Joined: 24 May 2005
Posts: 3272
Location: The Dam End of Silicon Valley

PostPosted: Wed Mar 08, 2006 3:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

YEA Exclamation (1 Evil or Very Mad Cowboy)

I have Doughts about Posting my Jokes sometime Sad
I know how to Pinch a gal and not get Slapped Exclamation - I even have them stick their Butts out Knowing Me (Young and Old) - - Other me see is - try it - and get SLAPPED - I have trouble getting across to them -
It's not the Pinch - It's the Idea of a Pinch

I am just learning to Joke Electrically Exclamation

As a Man I KNOW have Cracks in My Armor
Other Men Tend to See That as a Weakness
And Hide Their Cracks

Over the years I've Learned that Women See Cracks
and Men that are Not Afrair To Show Them as having "Strength" - 2 Cool Cool


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