Wife comes home early from work one day only to find her husband
in bed with a strange woman. She says, "That's it, I'm leaving and never coming back."
He says, "Don't you at least want to hear my explanation?
She shrugs and says, "Fine, let's hear your story. And this had better be good!"
He says, "Well, I'm driving along the street, when I see this young lady in torn clothes, no shoes, all muddy and crying. I took pity on her and asked if she would like to get cleaned up in my house. She climbed into my truck and I brought her home.
She took a shower. I gave her the underwear that doesn't fit you
anymore, the silk blouse and slacks that I bought you two years ago that you wore once, the $150 Nike running shoes you bought and wore only twice. I even gave her some of the roast beef you had in the fridge, that you never served me.
I showed her to the door . She was so grateful, for all these
thing's! , and she thanked me profusely. But then, as she was about to leave she turned around and asked me........
"Do you have anything else your wife doesn't use anymore?"
"Red meat is NOT bad for you. Now, blue-green meat - THAT'S bad for you!"