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Forrest Gump Goes To Heaven

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Forrest Gump Goes To Heaven

Postby Oldtimer » Sat Feb 26, 2005 10:08 pm

FORREST GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN

The day finally arrived; Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed and Forrest approaches the Gatekeeper.
St. Peter says, "Well, Forrest, i t's certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we've been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven."

Forrest responds, "It shor is good to be here , St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever tolt me about any entrance exam. Shor hope the test ain't too hard; life was a big enough test as it was."
St. Peter goes on, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions.

First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T?

Second: How many seconds are there in a year?

Third: What is God's first name?"

Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up and says, "Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers."
Forrest says, "Well, the first one -- which two days in the week begin with the letter "T"? Shucks, that one's easy. That'd be Today and Tomorrow. The Saint's eyes open wide an d he exclaims, "Forrest, that's not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I didn't specify, so I'll give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?" asks St. Peter.

"How many seconds in a year?"

"Now that one's harder," says Forrest, "but I thunk and thunk about that and I guess the only answer can be twelve."
Astounded, St. Peter says, "Twelve? Twelve!? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"

Forrest says "Shucks, there's gotta be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd. . ..."
"Hold it, " interrupts St. Peter. "I se e where you're going with this, and I see your point, though that wasn't quite what I had in mind.....but I'll have to give you credit for that one, too. Let's go on with the third and final question. Can you tell me God's first name"?

"Sure", Forrest replied, "its Andy."

"Andy?!" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St. Peter. "Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?"

"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I learnt it from the song . "ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN. . "
St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates and said: "Run Forrest, run."
**************
Give me a sense of humor, Lord,
Give me the grace to see a joke,
To get some humor out of life,
and pass it on to other folk.

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ranchwife
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Postby ranchwife » Sun Feb 27, 2005 12:55 am

:lol: :lol: :lol: :cboy:
thanks, oldtimer!!!!
have a super sunday!!
Love wins....ennis, montana....June 14, 2003!!!
Never forget!

Oldtimer

Postby Oldtimer » Sun Feb 27, 2005 12:50 pm

ranchwife wrote::lol: :lol: :lol: :cboy:
thanks, oldtimer!!!!
have a super sunday!!


ranchwife- I received that in an e-mail from a young lady yesterday- got me to thinking- no matter how smart we are or aren't, everyone has a different way of looking at things and differing backgrounds which develop their beliefs and perceptions-- Kind of fitting for all the different views you see on ranchers.net- nobody is right or wrong- they just see it differently...........

Beautiful day today-- sunny, in the 30's--have a tough afternoon job ahead of me- riding herd on two grandkids- hardest part is cleaning them up after they follow me around- everything is so sloppy muddy and slick- was trying to work colts in the roundpen yesterday and I don't know who slipped and slid more, me or the horses....
Weather boys are predicting 40's and near 50's rest of the week....


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