WAYS TO DESCRIBE HOW SOMEONE LIKES THEIR COFFEE
1. He likes his Irish coffee like he likes his women: loaded with whiskey.
2. He likes his coffee like he likes his strippers: scalding hot and in
3. He likes his coffee like a major league catcher likes his privates: in
a large, strong cup.
4. I like my coffee like I like surrealist humor: giraffe.
5. I like my coffee like I like my women: hot. Of course, the difference
is I can actually *get* hot coffee.
6. I like my coffee like I like my meddlesome neighbors: ground into tiny
7. She likes her coffee like divorce attorneys like their clients: very
rich, very bitter and with lots of grounds.
8. He likes his coffee like he likes his flatulence: made from the finest
beans, rich enough to smell from across the room and satisfying to the
9. She likes her coffee like she likes her Iraqi information ministry:
chock full o' nuts.
10. I like my coffee like Maria Myerson, a girl in fifth grade who gave
every boy except me a Valentine, even though I had written her love
poems in my own blood every day -- ruining me for life, that
ungrateful skank prosti-- um, sorry...cold, with a bitter aftertaste.