Ranchers.net Bull Session

TOP 10 "Pet" Peeves Dogs Have about Humans

A friendly place to talk about the weather, tell jokes and post cowboy poetry.
User avatar
Soapweed
Rancher
Rancher
Posts: 16071
Joined: Fri Feb 11, 2005 7:54 pm
Location: northern Nebraska Sandhills

TOP 10 "Pet" Peeves Dogs Have about Humans

Postby Soapweed » Fri Mar 04, 2005 7:12 am

TOP 10 "Pet" Peeves Dogs Have about Humans....


1. Blaming your farts on me... not funny... not funny at all!

2. Yelling at me for barking.. I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG, YOU IDIOT!

3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out.

Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose... Stop it!

5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons.

Well, Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.

6. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog!

Whoooo Hoooooooo! -- what a proud moment for the top of the food
chain.

7. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip",

then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!

8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests..

Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.

9. Dog sweaters. Hello?? Haven't you noticed the fur?

10. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know

the truth, you're just JEALOUS!

User avatar
ranchwife
Rancher
Rancher
Posts: 3990
Joined: Thu Feb 10, 2005 6:18 pm
Location: ennis, montana

Postby ranchwife » Fri Mar 04, 2005 7:26 am

:clap: :clap: :clap: even the 15 year old liked #10!! :shock: :shock:
Love wins....ennis, montana....June 14, 2003!!!
Never forget!

User avatar
sw
Rancher
Rancher
Posts: 1373
Joined: Mon Feb 14, 2005 5:28 pm

Postby sw » Fri Mar 04, 2005 9:52 am

An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions when it did ring, her pet dog always moaned right before the phone rang. The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile elderly lady.

He climbed a nearby telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned loudly and the telephone began to ring. Climbing down from the pole,
the telephone repairman found:

1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire via a steel chain and collar.
2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.
3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the phone number was called.
4. After a couple of such jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate on himself and the ground.
5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.

Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning.
FREEDOM IS NOT FREE. FREEDOM IS BOUGHT AND PAID FOR BY THE BRAVE SO THE FREE CAN BE FREE.

User avatar
Faster horses
Rancher
Rancher
Posts: 27765
Joined: Fri Feb 11, 2005 12:21 pm
Location: SE MT

Postby Faster horses » Fri Mar 04, 2005 12:16 pm

Both were really great stories!

Thanks for posting them!

User avatar
Steve
Rancher
Rancher
Posts: 16547
Joined: Sun Feb 13, 2005 9:57 pm
Location: Wildwood New Jersey

Postby Steve » Fri Mar 04, 2005 7:17 pm

okey now I'm laughing my @$$ off.
"Obama: If They Bring a tank to the Fight, I'll Bring a teleprompter."

User avatar
ranchwife
Rancher
Rancher
Posts: 3990
Joined: Thu Feb 10, 2005 6:18 pm
Location: ennis, montana

Postby ranchwife » Sat Mar 05, 2005 2:55 am

sw...had me going right up til the punchline :lol2: :lol2: :clap: :clap:
Love wins....ennis, montana....June 14, 2003!!!

Never forget!


Return to “Coffee Shop”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Bing [Bot], Google [Bot] and 2 guests