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Redneck Church

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Oldtimer

Redneck Church

Postby Oldtimer » Sun Mar 06, 2005 1:45 pm

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church...

IF the finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a
chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.

IF people ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two
fish
were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.

WHEN the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the
offering,"
five guys and two women stand up.

IF opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church
holiday.

IF a member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive
truck
because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of." (Love
it!)

IF the choir is known as the "OK Chorale".

WHEN in a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names
in the church directory.

IF Baptism is referred to as "branding".

IF high notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.

IF people think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too
heavy.

IF the baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized washtub.

IF the choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from)
Billy Bob's Barbecue.

IF the collection plates are really hub caps from a '56 Chevy.

IF instead of a bell, you are called to service by a duck call.

IF the minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.

IF the communion wine is Boone's Farm "Strawberry Hill".

IF "Thou shalt not covet" applies to hunting dogs, too.

IF the final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now!! Ya
Hear"

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Angus Cattle Shower
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Postby Angus Cattle Shower » Sun Mar 06, 2005 3:54 pm

that was just too funny!!!!!!

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sw
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Postby sw » Sun Mar 06, 2005 4:51 pm

good one OT :D
FREEDOM IS NOT FREE. FREEDOM IS BOUGHT AND PAID FOR BY THE BRAVE SO THE FREE CAN BE FREE.

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nr
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Postby nr » Wed Mar 09, 2005 5:21 am

Loved that choir called the OK Chorale! Had to forward them to a friend looking for a Baptist church but not sure they'll fully appreciate a baptism called a "branding" :lol: :lol:


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