Ranchers.net Bull Session

My journey in the last couple of weeks/months

A friendly place to talk about the weather, tell jokes and post cowboy poetry.
sweetbasil
Rancher
Rancher
Posts: 1056
Joined: Thu Apr 14, 2011 4:53 pm
Location: U.S.A

What I learned in the last 10 months...

Postby sweetbasil » Sat Dec 26, 2015 9:08 pm

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to talked to my mom about my marriage, something that we haven't discussed much at all since I was presented with the divorce papers. I learned about the purpose for marriage, so here is the core of my learning.

In the process of working to save a marriage right after getting married - a weird place that I was put instead of heading to a honeymoon. Oh boy, I came a long way, so far to the point of understanding what marriage is truly about and having discernment about false teachers of the Word. You know, the type of pastor who encourages divorce instead of telling you the truth that your spouse will not meet your deepest longings, regardless of what those might be. These false teachers instead of hitting you with a cast iron on the head a couple of time to wake you up and tell you to take accountability and honor the vows you exchanged, and get YOUR heart right with Christ. Instead, they just go around handing out licenses to people telling them that "divorce is needed because it doesn't seem like it can work". The question is, how do you know "it can't work if you haven't moved a finger to WORK on the marriage? You can't find out if it will work unless you give it your very best to work on it. One professional said to me "you have two choices: (1) you will end up in divorce or (2) have the most wonderful marriage, but in order to know if it will be option 1 or 2, you both have to go get some counseling together. It makes sense, but I begged and offered to get and pay for the counseling, but was turned down many times.

When you don't have discernment of God's will for your life you can believe these false teachers, the world, and even if your cat could talk, you would believe what the cat will tell you about what to do with your marriage! Oh brother, we live in a country with more than 200,000 churches and yet, the rate for divorce is still between 40 to 50%. There is something we are not teaching couples and I think we are not speaking the truth to our fellow Christians.

It is easier to tell someone to find "greener pastures" and keep living in a mentality that is all about "me, myself, and I" than to really be honest with them because of fear of pushing them further away from us. Well, for me, I knew in my heart that there was something deeper than what the circumstances were telling and I was determined to find a way to "save it" or I should call it, "fix it". As I look back, it is remarkable how much I learned. When I exchanged my vows, the message was about 2 Cor. 13 and when I visited the video that was taken on my wedding day, I can hear the preacher stating "without God you can't have a marriage" interesting how God was making himself known at that very moment.

I have had a relationship with God prior to coming to the marriage; I walked through life staying truth to myself and doing the best I could because of being fearful of God. In the quest to finding the "solution" I examined myself in every way, and it started with taking a test. Interesting enough, I scored 845 out 1000 which indicate the areas of my heart that I needed to work on in order to love unconditionally. To my surprise, I was like "heck, I am 845 = B grade, not so bad, but there is something I am missing that I am not doing right. What is it, Lord? If you know anything about me, I take accountability for my actions, words, and behavior, and I knew that I was not doing something right, and what could it be? God used this test to showed me that I needed to start by working in two areas: acceptance and abiding.

For acceptance: the goal is to love your spouse unconditionally - praising them, often, allowing them to fail, remaining patient until they see the need to change themselves, and being a encourager, not on the attack.

I am an encourager by nature, and I was surprised to see that I needed to work on accepting my spouse; but the key from the above analysis was that I needed to learn to refine the unconditional love I had for my spouse. There was no doubt and God knows my heart that I didn't loved my spouse unconditionally, if I didn't have loved my spouse unconditionally from the beginning, I would have never willingly left everything that was familiar to me to moved across country with no family so that I could have the opportunity to raise a family with him. In working in the area of acceptance, I learned that I also needed to be patient but foremost, to learn to extend grace, so that that individual or anyone would feel safe to fail. I didn't know God's grace at the time I took the test, I really didn't knew about grace because I didn't grew up with people giving me room to fail - failing was never an option for me. I learned from an early age that I needed to do everything in my power to do the very best because I only had one "chance" and I have had high expectations for myself and sometimes those that I loved; in this case, it was my spouse. I couldn't learned about acceptance until I mastered the other area that was a weakness at the time I took this test 309 days ago, which is Abiding.

When I first read the description in abiding, I have to admit, I couldn't control the tears, because I knew this area was right on target, and I didn't have a clue on how I could do what it has been asked of me. The description for abiding is as follows:

"Not every marriage starts out with either partner interested in God. Maybe that was you - not thinking you needed Him or His guidance to make your marriage work. You may have grown to believe that if your wife or husband does not cooperate with you and reciprocate your love for them, there's not much point in keeping this marriage going. But God can change your motivation for marriage. He can give you a love that transcends your circumstances and continues on even when you don't feel like it. It starts with surrendering your life to Him, staying dependent on Him every single day, and choosing to love solely in order to please Him, even if your spouse isn't pleased with you at that moment".

I always knew God was important to me and I had relationship with Him out of fear of God. With this test, God was asking me to turn over every area of my life and heart to Him as an act of obedience. I am not a quitter and giving up on the marriage regardless of what was done was not an option. Also, to my disadvantage, being a problem solver added to a major bottleneck in the process of coming to a full surrender.

I begged to work on the marriage, etc., from the moment that the storm settled in. I experienced a lot of pain in the process of truly submitting myself to God in obedience to honor Him because I would give it to Him and then I would volunteered to take it away and find the solution on my own. I could picture God shaking His head and perhaps whispering between His breath "Ella, my dear, I know better and I can see the bigger plan... if she could just let me handle it now, I would be able to take her pain away..."

Wanting to live a life with a straight path out of fear of God is not obeying God as I was doing throughout my years prior to 2015. Being truly obedient to God is living a life striving to live by His ways in attitude and behavior out of honor for Him. My motivation for marriage early in the year was really screwed. I didn't have a clue that the reason for marriage is so we can help each other come to God and get to know Him, allow Him to teach us how to love the other person His way, the agape way, and submit ourselves to the roles that were designed for us to carry out in a marriage. The moment I truly surrendered and grasped to the truth that the above analysis was signaling to me, I came to truly understanding how God want us to see others through His eyes, and slowly, the areas of my heart that needed work were brought to the surface for me to face the truth. Being able to love someone when all you are getting is rejection taught me that I too have rejected God by not being obedient to Him the way He wanted me. He patiently waited for me to come to my senses and His love has never diminished one tiny bit, because when you love unconditionally, you love a person no matter if you get the love back the way you hoped you would.

Agape Love also known as self-sacrificing love is not an easy thing to express or give to another human, much less maintain it; therefore, we are call to make the CHOICE to love others, and with God's grace and guidance, we are able to stay in love and fall in love all over again and again with the same person. It requires commitment to honoring the covenant we made with God, patience, and humility to surrender to God's way of loving.

Love is a CHOICE. "Married love is the total self gift that husband and wife freely offer to each other" and in order to freely offer this gift, we must die one's self and put God first in one's heart and at the center of the marriage, in order to keep our spouse second on the list, and be able to truly love them God's way. I don't believe in divorce; divorce was presented to me without an option to be a wife and or be given 3 minutes to come face to face to say anything about what took placed. What many people don't understand is that if you don't work on getting your heart right with God first, one cannot have the marriage that God designed for us to have, we will go on in life, and perhaps be in a marriage for the next 40 years without experiencing the marriage that God has intended for us to have and still having those deep longing desires that only God can satisfy and not our spouse. The spouse gave up on me too soon, but I know God has never given up on me. He just begun refining me into the wife that He designed for me to be one day. I don't see marriage through the same lens, but I now understand that marriage is the most sacred gift that God has given to us and the most important relationship we could ever have. It is sacred covenant and I believe it is more than worthy fighting to protect it, live it, and honor it. I am glad that even thought my heart is still bleeding, I know that God slowly is stitching it up very neatly and in the process, making a extreme makeover and making me new as snow. If only every spouse would understand that if one does not get one's heart right with God, we are incapable of truly loving another person selflessly.

It took me 10 months to learn the purpose of marriage, understand agape love, fall in love with Christ all over again, and surrendered every area of my life. I pray that one day, I will have the opportunity to have a man who humbled, knows, loves, and honors God enough to put God first, me second, because when this happens, I know that I will be able to have a marriage the way God intended for me to have it.

sweetbasil
Rancher
Rancher
Posts: 1056
Joined: Thu Apr 14, 2011 4:53 pm
Location: U.S.A

The Power of Prayer Through My Lens

Postby sweetbasil » Mon Dec 28, 2015 10:08 pm

The Power of Prayer Through My Lens -
Greetings Everyone,
God answers prayers, indeed, and yesterday was another powerful example of an answered prayer. I carried my little prayer remembrance book with me, an idea that came out of watching the movie "War Room". This particular movie inspired me to create my own prayer board, which I have; however, I wanted a "mobile board" so I jut got a little prayer journal to keep in my purse among the million other things. Some prayers are small in the scheme of things, and others are big. I have prayed for many things in my life and they have come to fruition as long as I make the request with the right heart an always remind God that "if it is part of His will for me to have my prayer answer, please do, if not, give me the grace to accept the outcome". By asking if it is part of His will to have whatever I am requesting, I have already kicked the ego out the window before the final outcome gets revealed... which results in not feeling angry at the outcome. One of the things that prayer has taught me is to walk by Faith and not by Sight.

This little prayer book has been handy and it is always very special for me to go back and put a date next to the prayer as a confirmation when it was answered. Neat, right? Well, yesterday, I had the privileged of having someone joined me at Sunday Bible Study followed by church. I really didn't expected what this person would get out of the service, but I have being praying for God to show His love to this person in a new and powerful way. I was prompted to give this person and another a Bible for Christmas. Trust me, I felt like I was going to be stoned by giving Bibles to people as Christmas gifts, but I followed the feeling that was leading me to it. I prayed about it and the next thing I know, I am buying them.

One I mailed and the other I had the privileged of giving it in person and please keep in mind, I could have been hit on the head with it and would have caused severe damage since the Bible is quite thick. I should add, part of my prayer was to have this people be inspired by these Bibles and may they come alive when they open them I noticed that my prayer was starting to be answered by observing this person's behavior and the Bible has not left this person's sight for the past several days. I have been eating up the moments in joy observing what my eyes were witnessing. Then yesterday afternoon my complete prayer was answered. I was told that "from what I learned at the service today and Bible Study, for the first time in my life, it dawned on me that God truly loves me for who I am!" Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PRAISE GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My prayer life was lukewarm when I welcomed 2015, but as the year progressed and the trials and tribulations were slowly transforming me, molding me, and with God leading when from lukewarm to really HOT, just how I like my cup of Hot Chocolate. I plan on keeping it HOT throughout 2016. I wouldn't be here today without many people praying for me and their faithfulness to prayer also inspired me to keep my prayer momentum going. One of my favorite scriptures is "if two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them... or where two or three are have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst" - Matthew 18:19-20. When we are united in prayer we are able to see a faster and bigger breakthrough in our circumstances and feel His presence strongly.

I have created a place to invite my friends to join me and others in prayers every Wednesday at 10:00 PM CST. The winter is long and sometimes the conditions do not allow everyone to leave their homes, so I have created our a virtual "Prayer Room" where anyone is welcome to join if he/she needs prayer. Our first day of this new journey will take place on Wednesday, January 6th at 10:00 PM CST. You will not be asked to share your name unless you volunteer, all we ask is that you join us and let us pray for you and have you join us in prayer. There are many things happening in our homes, communities, and country, but we will be stronger at the end if we are united in prayer to get us through it.

If you would like to have the calling information, please reach out; you never know when you might like to join us...

May you all have a wonderful week.
Sweetbasil

sweetbasil
Rancher
Rancher
Posts: 1056
Joined: Thu Apr 14, 2011 4:53 pm
Location: U.S.A

A great article to remind us to guard our hearts...

Postby sweetbasil » Tue Dec 29, 2015 10:35 pm

Greetings Everyone,
I am sharing a wonderful series on hardened hearts for everyone to enjoy.

Part 1:
https://faithfull4him.wordpress.com/201 ... l-disease/

Part 2:

https://faithfull4him.wordpress.com/201 ... ned-heart/

Blessings,
Sweetbasil

sweetbasil
Rancher
Rancher
Posts: 1056
Joined: Thu Apr 14, 2011 4:53 pm
Location: U.S.A

Postby sweetbasil » Fri Jan 01, 2016 10:35 pm

Greetings Everyone,
May this post find everyone having a wonderful first day of 2016! I just got home from dropping my mom off in Minneapolis; it was so wonderful to have her here with me, yet, very difficult to say goodbye today. The reality of being that far away settled back in, but I know that I made it through the last four months, I will make it to the next seven months until I get to see her again. I have been reading a ton lately on different things and one of them happened to be on alcohol, so in my four hours drive home, I have managed mentally write it and finally was able to get it out of the system.

P.S. Thank you again for helping me make it through 2015.

May 2016 be filled with good health, joy, and bliss for all of us!
Sweetbasil

Alcohol Addiction in Its Nakedness!
The New Year has arrived and for many, the excitement and hope of what this New Year might brig is the fire that keeps the hope burning to achieve a resolution that perhaps, we have been longing to achieve in past years. I don’t have enough fingers to count the many types of resolutions, but for some, freeing oneself from the Master of Alcohol Addiction is perhaps something that is at core of the heart. On my way home today, the thought of writing about this subject is like being punch in the gut because I have seen the ugly face of what alcohol does to an individual and everything that surrounds that person. In my journey of striving to learn about God and working on following His will for my life, many wisdom was presented to me for the different things that have d my life and circumstances, and the Master in the closet that is one of the oldest and most powerful still has enough power to take control over a person and manage to wreck anything and everything that comes in contact with. However, this Master is only as powerful as God can allow it. For the first time, I am able to understand how this sucker can be kick in the butt with God’s power and be as powerful as a roach once we expose its nakedness. Are you ready to see the Master fully exposed? I AM!
Every human has fundamental needs and there are three main needs: love, significance, and security that we long for deeply within our hearts. Depending on our belief system, some people are raise with solid foundations and they are grounded in the sense that they understand that these needs only can be met by bringing God into our hearts and lives. For the majority, or I should say, someone like me, it has taken me this long to understand that no human will be unconditionally committed to having my best interest at heart, understand that the world will not point me to the direction of finding my true meaning and purpose for this life, or much less to feel fully accepted for who I am and belong. It appears that God is truly brilliant and the way He designed us was to not have the world meet these needs but only He is able, so that we can depend on Him for these needs. Jeremiah 31:3 reminds us that His love is “everlasting”, and if you just skip a few more lines to Jeremiah 29:11, we are informed that God’s plans will give us meaning, and if you just keep on reading, you will come across Hebrews 13:5, which reminds us that God made a promised to us to “never leave us or forsake us”, which reassure us that we belong to someone. Isn’t wonderful to know that someone made these vow to us, to adopt us, watch over us, give us purpose, and always love us unconditionally and He will follow through!?! So, why we can’t keep from becoming addictive to something such as Alcohol? I am curious, are you?
From what I have witnessed, I have learned that Alcohol like any addiction it is like having someone who has never swim before walking towards the deep end of a pool. When you are only at the 3’ mark, you still are enjoying the pool, you feel in control because you know that you still can enjoy the freshness of the water, and it makes you feel safe; however, when you are at 4.5’, you might still be in control if you are a 6’ tall individual, but if you are shortcake like me, I think by this point, you will start figuring whether you will try to apply the frog stroke that you have been watching on Youtube all of this time to get you ready for that day, or perhaps, what you picked out of Michael Phelps at the last Olympic Games. You want to get out, but you might feel a little bit trap and your pride is getting on the way of getting out. If you have your friends around the pool, your ego might need some stroking before you can admit that you are rather uncomfortable and could use some tips on how to enjoy the water without letting it take over you? From what I have learned is that most people are unable to truly face that they indeed are dependent on the Master to medicate whatever issue the Master is trying to “help” them deal with. The Scripture points to us in 2 Peter 2:19 that “a man is slave to whatever has mastered him.” Yes, unfortunately, there are many people in the 21st Century being slaved to the oldest of all “Masters” – Alcohol. The Master is as scary as we allow it to be; but the good thing is that you don’t have to fight it alone.
People who struggle with trying to free from being under the Master’s thumb have a difficult time admitting that they experience consequences from being under the Master’s influence. For many situations, seeking the Master is the only way that they know how to deal with difficult situations. There are many that make an argument that alcoholism is a disease, but there is a lot more research needed to be done in this topic in order to claim it as a disease – I find it rather to be a will-isease because we choose to continue to keep it quiet and continue to let the Master direct our steps, or admit that this Master is has a tight and one wants to get out from under his watch. Is it easy to admit that one finds itself feeling powerless? No, I think it takes a lot of courage and humility to truly surrender and accept the one finds itself in a state of powerless trying to break free from the Master. I think we should remember that each of us connot rely on ourselves but solely on God to help us break the chains that are tied to our feet which keeps us within the influence and control of the Master.
Each person should know that if God made him/her, God is also able to fully restore that person. I think Psalm 71:20-21 sheds light to this hope by letting us know that God is able to redeem and restore each of us and every area of our lives. But how can this restoration start? Like everything else, the first step is to yield our will to the will of God for one’s life. I believe God does not waste time when we invite Him to take control of our lives; truly, I say to you, God is the God of restoration and second chances, and I think it brings Him much glory when we give control of every area of our lives. God will get working on restoring what the Master tried to destroy, but we are also asked to face the reality and really come to God with an open heart and ask to show us our sins and flaws, and ask for direction to help us navigate the journey of restoration. I believe God knows exactly how difficult the road to restoration will be and the many times that the Master will come around and try to convince you of the “good times” and what “he offers you” but we are being ask to confess every time we feel tempted to fall into the sin of allowing the Master to take ownership of one’s will to say: ENOUGH – YOU OLD FART – I will no longer be slaved to your deceitfulness – keep going onto the next victim!
I have learned that part of achieving restoration is to admit one’s faults and flaws and in the process of doing so, to truly remember that the flaws and failures do not reflect who we truly are, because Psalm 51:10-12 tell us that we are created in His imagine, if a person is created in the imagine of God, he/she has access to the strength and discernment to overcome and experience freedom. As I mentioned before, when one becomes slaved to Alcohol, that person’s environment gets affected, in most cases, it results in broken relationships, marriages, homes, and hurting others deeply. Part of the healing is to go back and ask for forgiveness of those who were affected directly as a result of being dependent on the Master. It requires this degree of accountability not only to ask for forgiveness, but to truly take each day at a time, and each day taking responsibility to trust in God to give you discernment to say NO when the Master is showing you tempting you to come back. Prayer will become that person’s most dependent tool to help prevent that person from falling into the temptation. Taking one step at a time to stay alcohol-free is really possible because with “God all things are possible” as Matthew 19:26 reminds us and even if you feel that you can’t do it, I don’t think God expects anyone to walk alone in any situation, because He is there walking beside you. The Master is deceitful and even though you think you are getting some joy out of relying on him to easy your pain, struggle, etc., God want us to experience Heaven on Earth by truly knowing that we are loved, secured, and we belong to something greater and much more wonderful, if only we can trust in His will for our lives.

mrj
Rancher
Rancher
Posts: 4503
Joined: Mon Feb 21, 2005 9:19 am
Location: SD

Re: My journey in the last couple of weeks/months

Postby mrj » Sat Jan 02, 2016 9:03 am

Sweetbasil, I'm glad that your mother was able to spend that time with you. And that the roads and weather were at least not terrible, if not perfect. And that is assuming they were somewhat similar to what we had 'only' 250 miles to the west. And I'm guessing you had a great time together, probably also doing some exploring of new places and things to see in Sioux Falls.

We do have lots of snow and it is pretty tough going for the guys taking the cows. The grandsons have often thanked their grandpa for buying the new green tractor last summer. I believe it is the first new tractor since over 40 years ago, tho we have bought some used ones in that time. Including a pretty 'blue' one which turned out not to fit our methods and was traded in on the new one.

We have decided that in future years, we need to have grandsons alternate being away from the ranch when weather could be difficult for 'older' family members to get the necessary chores done! One went to New Mexico for Christmas and upon hearing storm forecasts for large areas they needed to travel home, cut their visit short by a day and were only an hour and a half ahead of a storm carrying 14 inches of snow with strong winds creating 8 foot snow drifts in the area they left. They did have decent roads for the 14 hour drive home. While our snow was pretty deep, more than 12 inches from a couple of storms, it did come pretty straight down with no wind. Just deep enough to require chains on a pick-up out in pastures, and some good memory of where the small ditches are! Still plenty of grass and our cows are grazing, but getting some 'hand-outs' of hay and cake at least a few times a week now.

We had a great Christmas gathering of most of the family yesterday. We were pretty scattered on Christmas Day, so are thankful we could do it on New Years Day. I do fear the little great grand girls now believe gifts come on BOTH Christmas and New Years! Only the three eldest grand girls were unable to be here. Oh, the toll of jobs and friends to visit! Grandparents miss them on the holiday.....but are thankful for those jobs and friends, too!

Have a great New Year all year long, everyone.

I will call or PM you later today, Miss Ella.

mrj

sweetbasil
Rancher
Rancher
Posts: 1056
Joined: Thu Apr 14, 2011 4:53 pm
Location: U.S.A

Re: My journey in the last couple of weeks/months

Postby sweetbasil » Tue Jan 12, 2016 8:41 pm

mrj wrote:Sweetbasil, I'm glad that your mother was able to spend that time with you. And that the roads and weather were at least not terrible, if not perfect. And that is assuming they were somewhat similar to what we had 'only' 250 miles to the west. And I'm guessing you had a great time together, probably also doing some exploring of new places and things to see in Sioux Falls.

We do have lots of snow and it is pretty tough going for the guys taking the cows. The grandsons have often thanked their grandpa for buying the new green tractor last summer. I believe it is the first new tractor since over 40 years ago, tho we have bought some used ones in that time. Including a pretty 'blue' one which turned out not to fit our methods and was traded in on the new one.

We have decided that in future years, we need to have grandsons alternate being away from the ranch when weather could be difficult for 'older' family members to get the necessary chores done! One went to New Mexico for Christmas and upon hearing storm forecasts for large areas they needed to travel home, cut their visit short by a day and were only an hour and a half ahead of a storm carrying 14 inches of snow with strong winds creating 8 foot snow drifts in the area they left. They did have decent roads for the 14 hour drive home. While our snow was pretty deep, more than 12 inches from a couple of storms, it did come pretty straight down with no wind. Just deep enough to require chains on a pick-up out in pastures, and some good memory of where the small ditches are! Still plenty of grass and our cows are grazing, but getting some 'hand-outs' of hay and cake at least a few times a week now.

We had a great Christmas gathering of most of the family yesterday. We were pretty scattered on Christmas Day, so are thankful we could do it on New Years Day. I do fear the little great grand girls now believe gifts come on BOTH Christmas and New Years! Only the three eldest grand girls were unable to be here. Oh, the toll of jobs and friends to visit! Grandparents miss them on the holiday.....but are thankful for those jobs and friends, too!

Hello MRJ,
Happy Tuesday! I hope that you are having a lovely week. Did you get my voicemail that I left the day you called me? I hope that everything is well in your little corner of the world. It sounds like you had a wonderful Christmas with the family :) I am blessed my mom got to come and she truly likes South Dakota! I won't get to see her until sometime in July, but at least, I have something to look forward to. I have been super busy lately with work; lots of good problems coming my way and I will be going to MT in the very near future to work on some initiative there. I had a tour of one our generating stations in Huron. Huron looked like a neat place and it was fun to drive through Mitchell to show my manager the Corn Palace. I was working out of my cell phone most of the trip and need to follow-up on a few things since I realized not all of my contacts are synched to my phone application. I have a few important meetings tomorrow and reports to review at 3:00 AM and have everything ready to roll at 8:00 AM. I have another tour on Thursday for one of the coal plants which will take most of my day on the road and I need to ensure the things I need to get done this week are moving forward. I really enjoyed meeting many of my partners in Huron and look forward to visiting them again. I just finished helping my friend's husband redo his resume online and we will reconnect again to wok on it more before we can transfer his resume to LinkedIn. tomorrow I have fellowship with someone from church, so my evenings this week have been super busy.

Looking forward to hearing from you!!

Have a blessed week,
Sweetbasil

Have a great New Year all year long, everyone.

I will call or PM you later today, Miss Ella.

mrj

sweetbasil
Rancher
Rancher
Posts: 1056
Joined: Thu Apr 14, 2011 4:53 pm
Location: U.S.A

Part I:The Fast Spreading "Dis-ease" in the 21st Century

Postby sweetbasil » Tue Jan 12, 2016 8:44 pm

Part I:The Fast Spreading "Dis-ease" in the 21st Century

Most people are very aware of key factors that could lead to a heart attack and they make certain changes to their lifestyle that can positively contribute to their health and prevent the heart attack. I don't know, but if someone tells me, if you don't change xyz in your lifestyle, your probability of getting a heart attack is 95%, I think I would get my act together in a split of second and make those changes, regardless of whether I want to make them or not because we know the physical consequences of a heart attack. On the flip side, what about if I was told, if you don't change xyz in your life, it will lead to a hardened heart? For most people, there wouldn't be a rush to change those things that were recommended because they don't truly know the consequences of a "hardened heart" and it is something that is not broadcasted on Bill Boards or Commercials. We lack knowledge about this, but this "dis-ease" also has great consequences to the Spirit which indirectly impact our lives, environments, and anything and anyone that we come in contact with. Alright, Ella, "Spill the Beans" and tell me what this "dis-ease" is all about...

The hardened of hearts like any other disease develops over a period of time, and it starts from the moment we have conceptual knowledge of our surroundings as it is the pivotal moment in our lives when we start building our Belief System. This "dis-ease" goes that far, each experience, person, and thing that we ever came across, saw, heard, and believed slowly started shaping the condition of our heart. We are born with three fundamental needs: (1) a need to be unconditionally loved by someone, (2) a need for significance in our lives (have a purposeful life), and (3) a need for security (wanting to belong and be accepted). The things, ideas, and people in our lives have influenced us and the degree of how we go about "finding" those "things" in this world to fulfill these needs. We go about trying to explore the earth and sea trying to meet these fundamental needs and for many people, they go about doing it in illegitimate ways. These illegitimate ways are the factors that contribute to a hardened heart. Just like there are certain "red flags" that can signal if we are prone to a heart attack, there are certain key indicators that June Hunt, a well known Biblical Counselor has identified through her years of expertise that can help us identify if we have a hardened heart. The "red flags" are when a person:
"1. Dislikes confrontation
2. Denies that conflict exists
3. Dwells on personal injustice received
4. Dominates conversation and makes no concessions
5. Demonstrates pride
6. Deceives others about personal feelings
7. Discuss the problem with defiance
8. Distrusts the motives of others
9. Deafens ears to apologies
10. Deflates any solutions offered
11. Develops apathy
12. Detaches emotionally
13. Determines not to be hurt again
14. Disapproves of seeking a mediator
15. Deduces that the other person will never change
16. Desires revenge
17. Damages the reputation of the other person
18. Disowns personal responsibility
19. Discounts past commitments"
The list above is a good "self-check" to really examine the condition of our hearts to prevent the "dis-ease" and soon I will share with you what are the consequences of this "dis-ease" along with the real "cure" for it...

May your week be filled with safety, good health, and a heart filled with joy and contentment.

Regards,
Sweetbasil

mrj
Rancher
Rancher
Posts: 4503
Joined: Mon Feb 21, 2005 9:19 am
Location: SD

Re: My journey in the last couple of weeks/months

Postby mrj » Thu Jan 14, 2016 10:39 am

Sweetbasil, it is good you are busy and enjoying the learning projects for your job, but do hope you are not TOO busy. I know a job can almost take over ones' life. Ranchers are especially vulnerable to allowing that situation. When one is your own 'boss' and responsible for everything, it is too easy to fall into that trap! Especially so when the ranch/farm income falters, as it does in ranching almost at whims of weather, markets, dietary 'guidelines', and in recent years the attacks on meat by various groups with their biases of animal rights, sowing fears of various foods and such for whatever reasons they may have. When the income drops, it is hard to impossible to hire help, and people are more prone to attempt 'doing it all' with little time or energy for other life interests and needs.

The travel to see various aspects of the business as you are doing must be interesting and will add much to your resume for the future, as well as your understanding of what the job requires of you. You will be seeing interesting country, too, I'm sure. At least anywhere we travel, it is interesting, with little that seems boring as we drive by. But that may be more an attitude than anything else. It is easy to compare any scenery with our local terrain and imagine how it would be to manage a ranch in various areas.

Your study is interesting. Makes various things I've read or studied in the past 'gel' in my mind, to make sense of life and faith a bit more clear. One book I'm currently reading is by a Jewish woman and the subject is stories she has collected of how apparent coincidences have influenced lives, and she sees them as being acts of God more than simply coincidences. It is interesting. And something else in the book is too. Some of those who have read it have signed the inside front cover and passed the book along. So far, only three names appear. I don't even know how long I have had it, nor where I got it. It is called "Small Miracles" and many of the incidents do seem miraculous and they certainly were blessings to those affected. It was copyrighted 1997, and authored by Yitta Halberstam Mandelbaum and Judith Frankel Leventhal. I enjoy reading a wide variety of subjects, and this is one that I will remember and treasure for a long time.

I sent you a PM, and hope you got it. Hope to get a phone call made, too, but seem to get busy in evenings when you might be available for frivolous talk, but one of these evenings soon, you will hear from me.

Take care, and travel safely with a good bag of winter emergency supplies in your 'Luigi'. Also keep his tank full and his various systems checked frequently as you travel! We use an old suitcase to carry a few blankets along, and always seem to have gloves, extra coats, etc. Shorty's parents were once stranded for a day or two wearing 'dress' clothes and had little to keep them warm. I think they were going to a meeting and the day started out beautiful and a sudden storm came up. Back then, the Hiway Patrol didn't make a sweep of the roads before telling people not to travel. It was frightening enough that they wrote instructions for the family in the event they didn't survive. They had picked up the mail before leaving town, and had quite a few newspapers they were able to use as covers, and ran the car intermittently to keep some warmth. They knew that it was more dangerous to try to walk for help than to stay in the car, of course. And all ended well, with the lesson passed on frequently to the rest of the family!

mrj

User avatar
Big Muddy rancher
Rancher
Rancher
Posts: 21285
Joined: Thu Feb 10, 2005 6:29 pm
Location: Big Muddy valley
Contact:

Re: My journey in the last couple of weeks/months

Postby Big Muddy rancher » Mon Apr 18, 2016 9:21 am

I sure hope some of you are keeping up with SB on Facebook because she has sure dropped out of sight on ranchers.

Hope she is just busy with her new job.
Avatar by Haymaker

I can't tame wild women.

But I can make tame women wild.

mrj
Rancher
Rancher
Posts: 4503
Joined: Mon Feb 21, 2005 9:19 am
Location: SD

Re: My journey in the last couple of weeks/months

Postby mrj » Mon Apr 18, 2016 3:32 pm

I'm not doing anything on fb right now, but have talked to her a couple of times, once just last week. I thought she might post something to catch us up here, but not yet, I guess. We saw here two or three times when we were in SF last winter, and missed out once when she had a 'bug'', and we were seriously avoiding those because my brother whom we were there to visit, had a kidney transplant. I was sorry we couldn't see her, as my daughter and sil were there, too, so they could have gotten acquainted, but maybe another time it will work.

Talking to her last week, she is very busy with here job, even getting in on some travel to other places the company is located besides Sioux Falls. And it seems to me her church is filling in nicely for her lack of family in the area. Her mother has been there to visit a couple of times, and I believe she said friends from Twin Cities were coming for a day, at least.

I believe she's in contact with FH, too??? Not sure if she said that, or that she wants to check in with FH. Guess I need one of those phone amplifiers, as I can't get my volume on the phone high enough to adequately hear some soft voices! Both of us would love to go to Rapid City if FH could meet us there sometime. I hope she does post here soon, but she is having a great time with her work, and her cute little apartment, it seems to me. That is exactly what my prayers and wishes for her have been, as she has been through a lot and is starting to really enjoy life again, with her job and her faith and life going well.

mrj

sweetbasil
Rancher
Rancher
Posts: 1056
Joined: Thu Apr 14, 2011 4:53 pm
Location: U.S.A

Re: My journey in the last couple of weeks/months

Postby sweetbasil » Tue Apr 19, 2016 11:03 am

Greetings Everyone,
May this post find everyone having a good April. First and foremost, I want to apologize to all of my family here at ranchers.net for not being in touch for a while. I have been extremely busy learning a ton at work, traveling to and from MT, and during the week I have church fellowship and going to Biblical Counseling to learn about who I am in Christ. I am learning so much at work and sometimes I feel like I am swimming in a sea of information (LOL). I feel blessed to be here in this job; it is not an easy job, but I know God knows I can do it and so far, he has provided me all of the tools that I need to make it happened. I seem to only have Saturday off to unwind and did a lot of traveling (road trips) in the past Saturdays to help me reflect on my own personal life and with the grieving process. I have done some good work at work and it has been recognized through a little unexpected bonus and a raise. My manager said that “nobody has met my expectations in the last 15 years that I have had direct reports in such short period of time” when he went over my evaluation for last year. I knew the day that I was interviewed that he had high expectations so I am thankful to God that He is helping me meet them. I have a lot to share with everyone, and one of those is that I will begin my journey of planting the seeds to achieve one of my greatest dreams that will give me the opportunity to give back to others. I would love to share my journey with my ranchers family. If it is part of God’s will for my life, I hope that I will become a founder of a non-profit organization that will do the following:

Provide Biblical counseling to people who are in the midst of going towards a divorce. Why? I want to bring people of true faith to provide counseling to people, similar to what I am going through and help these individuals learn the purpose of marriage, God’s stance on marriage, but more than anything, who they are in Christ. I no longer live my life in fear of God, but to honor God in character, behavior, and attitude, which is hard, but it is worth it. I am finally thankful to God for the trials and tribulations of 2015; without them, I would have not rediscover who Christ is and being opened to seeing His goodness in my life.
The second thing that this foundation will do is to help kids from rural communities be on a path to get into college and get the necessary support. I am a product of college-bound programs and I know the college system very well. I feel that there is a need to provide this type of support to kids in rural communities; however, I need to bring the faith-based component to the program. I feel that in order to equip kids with the right tools, the GPA, community service, SATs, and college essay are not enough. A young adult should be rooted in the faith before going off to college, because college can be destructive for many if they are not grounded.

I feel that I have been blessed with spiritual gifts to be an administrator and bring resources, and I believe bringing such dream to fruition will not only help people but bring glory to God. The first step is to find “where” this will be. I am asking God for a sign as I want this to be simple, but in a setting that will offer serenity and tranquility to those who are hurting and a quiet place for the kids to study. The first step would be to find the piece of land where it will be built.

I will touch-base on this more. I am coming back for good to start the next chapter.

Regards,
Sweetbasil

sweetbasil
Rancher
Rancher
Posts: 1056
Joined: Thu Apr 14, 2011 4:53 pm
Location: U.S.A

Re: My journey in the last couple of weeks/months

Postby sweetbasil » Tue Apr 19, 2016 11:33 am

Big Muddy rancher wrote:I sure hope some of you are keeping up with SB on Facebook because she has sure dropped out of sight on ranchers.

Hope she is just busy with her new job.


Hi Uncle BMR!
I am sorry that I haven't been here as often as I would have like but plan on coming back for good. Thank you for checking in.

Have a blessed day,
Sweetbasil


Return to “Coffee Shop”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 4 guests