When was the last time you were so happy that you wanted to dance your way in pure joy? I can certainly identify myself with the joy that this little girl reflects in this picture. A year ago today, I was still jobless, and my future looked very uncertain and dark. As I look back today, I can only thank God once more time, for his unfailing love, grace, and plans for my life. I never thought that I was going to be jobless for 7 months, on top of that, with the marriage situation. Just to throw in the cherry on top, I was 1,939 miles away from “Home”. I never thought that I was going to be in SD, but God had other plans, and I am able to see “why”, so that I can depend on him for everything, and not on my own doing. In the midst of the trials, I surrendered myself to God’s will for my life and turned over the “wheel” in order to stop being loss and finding my way “home.” Slowly, I got to see his goodness and the many roles that God can play in one’s life. He picked me up, cleaned my tears, and let me know that “I will never leave you nor forsake you”, something that appeared foreign to me at that time. It was rather a hard thing for me to grasp intellectually, because I have always lived by the motto of “if you can’t go and earn it, nobody is going to do it for you” from a very young age. Depending on myself too much for everything was a wall that I needed to break down in order to “trust” that he was going to make it happened without me needing to “help” or “earning it”. Relationships do not only requires for one to invest emotionally, spiritually, but also financially, so, if you are committed, you will be left with lots of pieces to pick-up if such relationship does not turned out the way you hoped for.
My losses were so ridiculously that I moved to SD without even towels or dishes! When the devil tried to get me caught in his web of lies by reminding me that “see, you don’t have anything to show for the last 4.5 years, but big losses”, the Lord would remind me “if you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you” and “delight in me, and I will give you the desires of your heart”. Such reminders were so comforting at that time and since I didn’t have anything to lose, “why” not giving him whatever “best” of me that was left? His constant sweet whispers were always faster than the enemy’s waves of lies trying to convince me to not listen to the truth.
I am extremely thankful to the Lord, because I have never have had a father, boyfriend, fiancé, lover, or sugar daddy, to buy me cars, pay my bills, or provide, but I know with all of my heart that God has never “forsaken me” and he has always provided me. It has never been anything because of what I have done to “earn it” or based on my performance, or behavior, but because God loves me unconditionally. Ironically, I have been listening to an in-depth study of Philippians to understand “Who I am in Christ”; and the first study has been on God’s wealth for me as his child living in Christ. I have learned that the basis of my wealth is based on God’s will for my life, his grace, his power to created it, his unfailing love for us, his kind intention, his purpose, his calling, his inheritance for us, and his workmanship. I can only say, AMEN to that! The devil was definitely wrong the many times that he tried to deceive me by telling me that “… you don’t have anything to show for”, because “I was not left with nothing to show” but with everything to gain, because Christ is the key that allows me the opportunity to love, respect, and honor my Heavenly Father, and in return, I have access to his inheritance. I am no longer a vine whose fruits were not of great quality because I was fertilizing my vine with the fertilizers of this world, but now, I am watering it and tendering with God’s best fertilizing ---- his Word and Discernment, while Chris is my gardener teaching the secrets to bearing the fruits of the Spirit.
All I can say is, regardless of how dark your situation might look right now, let Christ take over the wheel of your life, seek him with your whole heart, and the be to find yourself in awe of his goodness. I didn’t find “love” in this world, but I found eternal and unfailing love in Christ and it is thanks to his unfailing love that he has provided me the ability to recover all of the emotional, spiritual, and financial losses tenfold.