Ranchers.net Bull Session

Emergency

A friendly place to talk about the weather, tell jokes and post cowboy poetry.
User avatar
rancher
Rancher
Rancher
Posts: 1059
Joined: Thu Feb 10, 2005 8:12 pm

Emergency

Postby rancher » Tue Mar 08, 2005 10:23 pm

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I'm wearing a blouse and slacks, why?

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my
ham and cheese sandwich.
Dispatcher: Excuse me?
Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the
kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.
Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?
Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick
and tired of it

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 Fire or emergency?
Caller: Fire, I guess.
Dispatcher: How can I help you sir?
Caller:< /SPAN> I was wondering.....does the Fire Dept. put
snow chains on their trucks?
Dispatcher: Yes sir, do you have an emergency?
Caller: Well, I've spent the last 4 hours trying to put these chains on my tires and... well.. do you think the Fire Dept. could come over and help me?
Dispatcher: Help you what?
Caller: Help me get these chains on my car!


! Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't
have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the
same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.


Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two
minutes apart.
! Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!


And the winner is..........
Dispatcher: 9-1-1
Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of
breath. Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster. Damn......
Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an
asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having
trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police.
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. - Dr. Seuss

User avatar
ranchwife
Rancher
Rancher
Posts: 3990
Joined: Thu Feb 10, 2005 6:18 pm
Location: ennis, montana

Postby ranchwife » Tue Mar 08, 2005 10:28 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: :clap: :clap:
Love wins....ennis, montana....June 14, 2003!!!
Never forget!

User avatar
nr
Rancher
Rancher
Posts: 2840
Joined: Thu Feb 10, 2005 4:50 pm
Location: DE

Postby nr » Wed Mar 09, 2005 5:04 am

" Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't
have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the
same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid."


So nice seeing someone is even more arithmetically challenged than I! :lol2: Those were great!


Return to “Coffee Shop”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 8 guests