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Funny calving related mishap

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 12:27 am
by Kosmo1
Hello everyone, since I am staying at my parents’ home tonight to be closer than usual to all of that delightful calving activity, I have a little extra time on my hands to relay a funny mishap that I had yesterday.

Aside from today the last week of calving has been accomplished with unseasonably warm temperatures, which has been more than appreciated because we have hit the hard runs that happen between a quarter and half. This has altered my usual calving attire that consists of shotgun chaps and muck boots to just my jeans and a pair of lace-up moccasins. I prefer my jeans a little longer than I need so that when I ride or sit they don't become "high-water" and thus I roll up the cuffs to keep the bottoms from wearing out.

I was rather fatigued and ready to end my shift at dusk but had just one more calf to tag as to make life easier for our night calver. It had just been born and was sopping wet so instead of straddling its slimy neck with my jeans, a swift nudge with my foot to knock it over and a light step on its neck provided the proper ear in an erect manner for easy tagging.

I feel this to be an excellent time to add that I was in haste with this procedure as its mother wasn't keen on my presence and had given me all of the telltale signs that I should be well on my way. With her bellering at my knee I figured this would just take a second and I would acquiesce. With my Z-tagger at the ready, I gave a swift pinch and as I recall it required considerable more effort than it should have to pierce the tender ear of the newborn. After further deliberation I realized that I was caught in a very unfortunate situation (one that I had never before encountered) as I had inadvertently snapped my pant leg to the ear of the baby calf.

Now I will take a moment to explain that anyone who has ever tagged a baby calf tries to take every precaution of safety as it can be a rather dangerous proposition. As a rule, I try to never stray more than five feet from my Polaris Ranger as to have some form of barrier from the sometimes concerned mothers. However, living on the wild side and with a naturally rebellious spirit I was a good 6 feet from my Ranger when this happened. The uh-oh factor had kicked in and it was time to make a split decision.

With self-preservation in mind, I quickly grabbed the well-lubricated victim and lugged it closer to the four-wheeled "port in the storm." Hunched as close to the floor boards (between the seat and steering wheel) as I could. I reached in my pocket for my handy yet complicated and slightly inaccessible multi-tool Leatherman. Finally I edged my blade closer to the ear with three options: one barbaric, one expensive, and one less expensive but more time consuming. In respective order, I could either cut off the ear, pant cuff, or ear tag. With time of the essence, I opted for the middle and more humane option. With the precision of a dime store surgeon my leg was freed from its captor and none too soon for all parties involved. From what I can tell all will be forgiven and forgotten except for the scar my pants shall bear for eternity.

Re: Funny calving related mishap

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 1:57 am
by Brad S
That's a funny situation - glad it ended well. Those woofy kind of cows can be a handful when a calf is still wet, but really desirable looking after their baby the rest of the time. Do the cool kids still crave the worn out holy pants?

Re: Funny calving related mishap

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 7:22 am
by Big Muddy rancher
:nod: :lol: :cowboy: That mama cow beller makes you rush just a little bit. :shock:

Re: Funny calving related mishap

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 7:34 am
by LazyWP
You do have your fathers knack for telling stories!!! Keep safe, but keep the stories coming too.

Re: Funny calving related mishap

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 7:52 am
by Soapweed
A less dangerous but equally as dramatic situation, and one that left a lasting mental picture for all of the onlookers, happened when my daughter was a sophomore in high school. Her English teacher, who was a bit of an absent-minded professor, showed up blurry-eyed and still sleepy for the first period class. It didn't take long for her students to point out that there was a Q-tip about half-way up her leg, secured in her nylon stocking. They lady merely reached for a pair of scissors that was on her desk, and clipped a hole in the hose to dislodge the Q-tip. Problem solved. :-)

Re: Funny calving related mishap

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 10:35 am
by 4Diamond
I'm thinking he's a better story teller than his father, I enjoyed that one!

Re: Funny calving related mishap

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 11:00 am
by Silver
Thanks for the story Kosmo, I've been chuckling about it all morning, all the while making sure my pants have been well clear of the tagging pliers.

Re: Funny calving related mishap

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 11:31 am
by Faster horses
Me, I'm just glad you lived to tell about it. :nod:

Well written story of your escapade. :D

Re: Funny calving related mishap

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 12:07 pm
by mrj
Fun to read that one! Thankful you escaped with such a small injury to pant leg, and 'cowboy pride'. There's a nearly invisible repair with a little patch glued to the inside.....or the sewing machine could do it more securely, if a little visible. Or maybe genuine cowboy 'wear' makes you a real style leader, Kosmo 1.

re. calving, we are getting large numbers of twin calves on our hiefers. Just started a week ago and I believe we have six or seven sets, or 'half' sets as a couple have died. All heifers were bred A-I, and could be from same bull. I will check on that and bull it is. Not sure of total numbers to calve, and think I heard there are about 25 born so far. Twins have been pretty rare for us, and we don't really appreciate them as help is scarce and busy without 'babysitting' chores! Any ideas???


mrj
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Re: Funny calving related mishap

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 3:42 pm
by Soapweed
4Diamond wrote:I'm thinking he's a better story teller than his father, I enjoyed that one!


He leads a more exciting life, so he has more to tell about. :-)

Re: Funny calving related mishap

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 7:08 pm
by Big Muddy rancher
Soapweed wrote:
4Diamond wrote:I'm thinking he's a better story teller than his father, I enjoyed that one!


He leads a more exciting life, so he has more to tell about. :-)


Ya but you can always start your stories with"Well back in the good old days" :D

Re: Funny calving related mishap

Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 10:19 pm
by Soapweed
Big Muddy rancher wrote:
Soapweed wrote:
4Diamond wrote:I'm thinking he's a better story teller than his father, I enjoyed that one!


He leads a more exciting life, so he has more to tell about. :-)


Ya but you can always start your stories with"Well back in the good old days" :D


Or, "Back when I was a kid, we ............" If you listened to Brock, he would say it already happens. :-)