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98 years old

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Soapweed
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98 years old

Postby Soapweed » Thu Feb 03, 2011 10:07 am

All golfers should live so long as to be this kind of old man!

Toward the end of the Sunday service, the Minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?"

80% held up their hands.

The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one man, an avid golfer named Walter Barnes, who attended church only when the weather was bad.

"Mr. Barnes, it's obviously not a good morning for golf. It's good to see you here today. Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"

"I don't have any," he replied gruffly.

"Mr. Barnes, that is very unusual.. How old are you?"

"Ninety-eight," he replied. The congregation stood up and clapped their hands.

"Oh, Mr. Barnes, would you please come down in front & tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?"

The old golfer tottered down the aisle, stopped in front of the pulpit, turned around, faced the congregation, and said simply, "I outlived all the S.O.B.'s."

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gcreekrch
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Postby gcreekrch » Thu Feb 03, 2011 3:38 pm

Changed so that the subject is a little old lady, that is my Mother in Law's favourite story. :lol:
Don't tell people your problems, half of em' don't care and the other half are glad you got em' We can all run the neighbors better'n our own

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Soapweed
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Postby Soapweed » Thu Feb 03, 2011 7:58 pm

gcreekrch wrote:Changed so that the subject is a little old lady, that is my Mother in Law's favourite story. :lol:


I enjoyed the cartoon of the two little old ladies sitting at a table drinking coffee. One says to the other, "I'm getting so old that my friends who are already in Heaven will think I didn't make it." :wink:

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Postby Denny » Thu Feb 03, 2011 8:30 pm

Haymaker and his girlfriend were watching TV he had the remote and kept changeing the channel from fishing to porn back and forth. His girlfriend became quite annoyed and said Haymaker stop switching channels you already know how to fish.

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Postby Bruce » Fri Feb 04, 2011 11:19 pm

Back in my married day's I got all het up one evening when the old gal asked if I wanted to try different position's...............she figured maybe I could do dishe's while she lay on the couch and farted while fiddling with the remote :D


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