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New way of treating people?

Posted: Mon Oct 24, 2016 10:29 am
by mariposa
I have been helping work cattle for 45 years....I am 52....and a gal.....Today I was tongue lashed and sworn at so bad, I walked all the way back to the house. My son and my husband treated me like dirt. I am sure my son does not talk like that to the lady he works for. I have never heard my husband talk like that to his mother. Why take out all the anger on the one person who is on your side.

Is this the new generation's way....and we are accepting obnoxious and demeaning behavior as the new norm? I just am floored.

Re: New way of treating people?

Posted: Mon Oct 24, 2016 5:30 pm
by Faster horses
mariposa wrote:I have been helping work cattle for 45 years....I am 52....and a gal.....Today I was tongue lashed and sworn at so bad, I walked all the way back to the house. My son and my husband treated me like dirt. I am sure my son does not talk like that to the lady he works for. I have never heard my husband talk like that to his mother. Why take out all the anger on the one person who is on your side.

Is this the new generation's way....and we are accepting obnoxious and demeaning behavior as the new norm? I just am floored.


It's nothing new; happens to most of us....to some degree...at one time or another.....you did right walking to the house. Oh, and don't cook supper..........:-) They need to learn to not mess with the cook. :D

Re: New way of treating people?

Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2016 8:21 am
by Big Muddy rancher
Sad that happened, we worked 300 cows yesterday with my daughter bringing 4 cows at a time to the barn, a neighbor lady(that replaced 2 men from day before) putting them in the tub.A retired friend working the alley gate and bringing cows up the alley. The lady vet working the palp cage and preg checking and me on the squeeze,Ivomecing and running the sort gate at front of squeeze. We visited all day with only raising our voices over the noise of our work never even having to yell at the cows.
One of the most enjoyable days working cows ever.
Seems to me many people rush at cow work thinking it has to be done all at once. Many don't seem to want to invest in the cattle handling facilities, they don't have to be all fancy new steel but they need to be in good repair and serviceable
I don't know any other advice except what Faster Horses told you, that should get their attention.
Take Care

Re: New way of treating people?

Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2016 10:46 am
by littlejoe
I was going thru a difficult time in my life, had moved out, was staying in a cabins in the mtns with a childhood friend, logging.

I had gotten kind of honest with myself, soaking in tremendous guilt about past behavior and actions.

Asked my buddy 'why do we treat the people who love us the most, the worst?"

'hmmm...probably because they're the only ones who'll put up with that @#$#!"

Mine is probably a poor answer. But the person being small was me. I'm the person responsible for my behavior and actions and monitoring it and modifying it. I hope you realize--it's not about you.

And you don't have to take it. Self defense it not counter attack---don't need to escalate it, but have perfect right to say 'no---I won't take this' and do whatever is appropriate to follow thru.

I hope today is a happy one for you~~

Re: New way of treating people?

Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2016 10:56 am
by Faster horses
I have been so fortunate to be married to a man, who, when working cattle believes that slow is fast. He's been called a 'cow whisperer' even. So I've not dealt with verbal abuse when working cattle. But I have been around it and it's not fun. I HAVE walked to the house a time or two when I had to pull him out of a situation where he was stuck and all his hand signals meant the same thing.
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Re: New way of treating people?

Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2016 10:20 pm
by Brad S
There's no excuse for unkind behavior. Some people just get used to working that way. I won't have any of it at my corrals cause my dad said said that's not how we do things. Fact is, if everyone is putting forth good effort, ain't much to say about a mistake. Mistakes happen, how you handle them defines you


I have a friend that sells high quality livestock handling equipment. At fairs, he responds to pricing complaints by saying,"cheaper than a divorce "

Re: New way of treating people?

Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2016 1:04 pm
by mrj
mariposa, I hope life got better for you after that incident. Sometimes it does take a jolt like you walking away to make people think about their behavior. It sure isn't 'the cowboy way', as true cowboys and real men have manners around both women and cattle! Always have, always will. Those who don't, haven't earned the title.

The first cattle working rule on this ranch, and the predecessor Jones and Berry ranches has always been "if you are in a hurry, slow down", meaning pushing cattle (or people!) too hard just causes a wreck!

Last week, we attended the funeral of a great friend who grew up neighbors to, and as a very young man worked at, the Berry ranches. Part of his eulogy, and he lived it well, "...Neil was a great story teller with a great sense of humor and entertained everyone while rounding up or branding or working cows. Neil also had great cowboy "etiquette". He would ride ahead to open gates. His manners were impeccable, especially around women. He never met a stranger and had no enemies."

Shorty feels privileged that he and Neil rode together often in those years (Berry's were his (Shorty's) grandparents and uncles, cousins) and were friends to the end. It is awfully hard for an 80 year old cowboy to see his friends from earlier days lose their health and 'ride off into the sunset' the hard way, in nursing homes and hospitals.

But having only good memories of working cattle 'the right way' and memories of the friendship and respect of those old friends does help.

It would be a better world it we all succeeded in keeping, or mending relationships and/or forging new ones on a better basis. Life gets awfully lonely for mean spirited people, is my guess.

mrj

Re: New way of treating people?

Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2017 7:28 am
by lavacarancher
Mariposa, not offering this as justification but here is a comment. I am a male and married for 49 years to the same woman. Sometimes we have "discussions" about, well, just about everything. Most of the time it has absolutely nothing to do with her and everything to do with me. Sometimes I can't explain things properly and it's frustrating and it escalates and gets louder and things get out of control. Not her fault but she takes the brunt of the frustration. Sometimes I feel like something should be perfectly obvious the way it should be done but because she isn't mechanically inclined or knows nothing about electricity (you pick the subject) it gets out of control. Make sense? Again, not offering this an excuse for bad behavior, just my perspective. Oh, one last thought (from my perspective). Don't go trying to teach him a "lesson", that's just going to make things worse and drag it out a lot longer than it really needs to be. My wife does the same thing to me when one of these incidents happen. Then I'm left trying to figure out how I'm supposed to get the task done by myself.