I have spent the past week in North Carolina for training for my day job. They keep sending me to training even though i have done my best to explain that i am much to dumb to be trained. Raleigh, North Carolina is a pretty place. Lots of trees! Lots and lots of people too. I have had some time on my hands and decided i would put fingers to keyboard and write a little about my plane ride from Salt Lake. Sadly, i must head to the airport early in the morning for the return trip to the desert. I am delirious with joy to go home, but hope tomorrow is the last plane ride i take for the rest of my life. Let me know what ya think.
I have spent my life putting cattle on trucks
And I have hardly ever given much thought,
About the stress that they feel, getting loaded on the bus,
I was just happy they were finally bought!
I only pushed them up the alley,
And then watched, as their tails disppeared.
I assumed that once loaded, and the sorting sticks stowed,
They just settled right down, without fear.
Then the truck would drive away, and the stock would be gone,
And it never even entered my brain,
That cattle and sheep would still, have a long, stressful ride,
Til the first time I got on a plane!
Now the guy at the gate, doesn’t carry a stick,
But I bet there are days that he wished he could.
Folks all stand around, kinda switching their tails,
Just waitin’ for the jet to show up like it should.
Now, just like cattle, when people get loaded,
They put us all in different places.
First class gets on first, then the sky mile folks,
And the rest of us, get stuck in tight spaces.
And also like cows, all people act different,
Some just kinda mozey along.
While others are flighty, and even on the fight,
And a few, need a good set of nose tongs.
They push and they shove, and they bellar and moo,
some hardly even fit in the seat.
And they all carry enough bags, to outfit a small army,
Then we all sit, cramped together, in the heat.
And when the ol’ plane finally gets away from the ramp,
And the sky trucker has us up in the air,
We have to sit there, with strangers, for the next 7 hours
And do our damndest to try not to stare.
Cause just like the Walmart, there are all sorts of folks
Jammed on a plane in the sky.
And they all seem disgruntled and way out of sorts
And it’s best to not look them in the eye.
Now some smell ok, and some far from that,
Some snore, some pace and some read,
Some play with their phone and some talk a lot,
And some shouldn’t be allowed to breed.
Thankfully, planes have bathrooms up there,
So the carpet in the isle isnt green.
If they designed airplanes, like cattle hauling rigs
It would pour out the door when we landed, like a stream!
Another huge difference, I noticed right off,
Was most flight attendants are pretty and nice.
While most truckers I know, could find work as scarecrows,
And some of them may even have lice.
From the folks and the space and the smells and the hurry,
If I never fly again I will be fine.
I break out in a sweat just drivin’ past an airport,
And it would take a twitch to get me in a ticket line.
It’s no wonder that cattle get spun up and wont load,
Can’t say as I blame them at all.
And after your first trip on a jetplane,
You’ll understand too, when you recall,
The horrors and terrors, you felt from that plane,
You may even shed a few tears.
To realize the stress, that you’ve caused cows to bear,
Is worse than a branding iron sear.
I plan to drive, on the rest of the trips that I take,
I’d rather walk than ever step foot on a plane.
Being stuck in a flying cattle trailer,
Is the definition, of hell, to my brain.
I guess the lesson I learned, isnt too complex,
I’ll have more patience when shipping our cattle.
And the next lesson is, if you want me to fly,
It will be from getting flung out of a saddle.
A poor ride beats a great walk any day!