Ranchers.net Bull Session

And again.

Things that come up in the daily operation of a ranch.
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And again.

Postby gcreekrch » Wed Dec 06, 2017 5:39 pm

In my opinion, the best story ever told on Ranchers.

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Postby gcreekrch » Thu Mar 29, 2012 3:12 pm
Found it. I sure can sympathize with the pain you felt Hay Maker but I still get the giggles when I think about this story.

Posted: Wed Jun 03, 2009 1:49 pm Post subject: Back............whats left of me.


We were up early this Monday morning, was thinking these ole mesquite flats are pretty when the cactus is blooming as I was walkin back from the outhouse,it was really a beautiful morning,fresh coffe brewing and the sun just starting up for another days work.
Breakfast was about done, elmo was already givin orders,..........Juan get the horses around to the front corral,throw the saddles on the jeep and bring it around,get movin muchacho we got mucho trabajo today as he reached for a bottle of old crow and watch out for them damned rattlesnakes,damn I hate those thangs.
Ole elmo never did say exactly how it happened,but he got bit on his backside by a rattler once,believe he was in a compromising position answering mother natures call when a small rattler latched onto his butt,I tease the ole geezer bout it all the time,but he dont find any humor in it ,the man truly hates snakes.

I been riding my young gray horse and was thinking the little gray is coming along pretty good as I was tightening the cinch,ole elmo was riding his old sorrel mare and the two mexican boys helping us, were driving my jeep,plan for today was move stockers out of the river bottom pasture closer to the camp and corrals for inspection and shipping.
Things were just about as good as it gets cattle were trailin that old jeep as the mexican boys have been feeding cubes out of it,and me and ole elmo were riding drag it looked like we were going to get the cattle off the bottom pasture before the day got to hot.

But as luck would have it elmo spots a big rattler moving into some drift wood piled against a pear flat,he pulled his pistol as the rattler disappered into the drift pile,that's where those damned rattlers are coming from he said,tell the boys to bring that jeep down here with the kerosene.
Elmo maybe we better get the stock run up to the corrals ? .............Hell NO !!! Im tired of those damned things killin everything around here and biting folks remember last month ? we lost a good calf outa a damned good cow when she got snake bit,she still has a hole in her nose where the flesh fell off,Im gonna burn tha damned thangs out. Its good and green down here so now is a good time to get rid of them and there damned house.

Well....... was no changing ole elmos mind about burnin that drift pile,he already had the mexican boys turned around and fetchin the kerosene.........now this was a pretty big drift pile,just brush and a fews old tree trunks that had been washed up by the river,but ole elmo was determined wouldnt long before he had it burning and I thought well maybe the ole geezer has a good idea as we sure had a surplus of rattlers......................I should have known better,but Im sittin there on my young gray horse watchin elmo and the boys with a shotgun waiting for the rattlers to come out........Well rattlers aint the only thing that lives in those drift piles,bout the time it took elmo to un cork the old crow and take a swallow or two, wood rats start running outa the burn pile..........how in the hell one run straight at my horse's back leg and the way ole elmo tells it........ ran right up his leg and got under his tail,thats when all hell broke loose,I been on a few buckin horses but that was one helluva ride,just could'nt stay with that gray horse when the dust had settled,I remember elmo askin if I was alright and guffawing about me going one way and that wood rat the other with my gray horse still bucking outa sight.
Needless to say chores were a whole lot harder to complete that day,gray horse has been set back abit and I got 3 broke ribs and a bruised lung,back here in the Hill country,be close to the computer for a few days doc sez 4 to 6 weeks before I get back to any serious work.
And ole elmo is tellin everyone in town how hard the gray can buck with a wood rat in his ass.
Good luck
Don't tell people your problems, half of em' don't care and the other half are glad you got em' We can all run the neighbors better'n our own

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Big Muddy rancher
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Re: And again.

Postby Big Muddy rancher » Wed Dec 06, 2017 6:52 pm

:lol: :lol: :cowboy: Still funny :lol: :lol:
Avatar by Haymaker

I can't tame wild women.

But I can make tame women wild.

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Faster horses
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Location: SE MT

Re: And again.

Postby Faster horses » Thu Dec 07, 2017 12:15 am

A classic. I remember it well, but fun to read it word for word again. Thanks Gcreek.
Haymaker could sure tell a good story.

He's back now, you know. Couldn't log in under Haymaker so he's now Joe Stout.
There are two ways to be fooled. One is to believe what isn't true; the other is to refuse to believe what is true.

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leanin' H
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Location: Western Utah Desert

Re: And again.

Postby leanin' H » Thu Dec 07, 2017 1:11 pm

That makes me laugh so hard I cry! While I feel for Haymaker, I laugh cause I too have lawn-darted into the ground a time or twelve when a colt came unwound. Proudly, it was never from a woodrat seeking higher ground. Thanks for reposting that Gcreek.
A poor ride beats a great walk any day!
<Parry Taylor>

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