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100 Dead Crows

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Mountain Cowgirl

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100 DEAD CROWS alongside a highway in Oregon was investigated by the State Wildlife experts. They determined that the deaths were not from a bird flu or any virus, but vehicular. 98 crows were struck by TRUCKS and only 2 by cars. The experts concluded that the crows were able to avoid most cars, because of the cars low profile and aerodynamic windshields that carried the birds up and over the vehicle safely. Such was not the case with trucks. They concluded the birds, because of the busy highway, had to eat the roadkill until the last second before flying in order to get enough to eat.

Wildlife experts were concerned because crows are a protected bird and requested a judge ban trucks from this busy Oregon highway. The judge ruled that a PETA scientist and activist would study the crows in this area for 7 days at a budget of $100,000 of tax payer’s money. The PETA expert’s conclusion would be heard and a ruling made at that time.

THE PETA REPORT

I observed several hundred crows over the last 7 days feasting on roadkill left on the Oregon highway. The crows, all 7 days, had a watch out bird posted on the power line alongside the highway. As vehicles approached the watch out bird would call out … “caw … caw … caw” … whether it was a car or truck. The watch out bird always called out on the trucks, but the feasting birds, never looking up didn’t differentiate. I would suggest as a solution, that bird language experts teach lookout crows to say “tra … tra … tra” and identity experts teach crows to differentiate between a car and a truck.

THE JUDGES RULING

Ignorance is NO excuse for violating the law. I find the watch out birds guilty of bird slaughter and order them all rounded up and imprisoned on a bird refuge where they will be fed choosing from a vast organic menu, groomed daily, receive state of the art medical attention, have access to a full equipt gym and a personal workout trainer as well as an unlimited education, until which time they can demonstrate satisfactory language and vehicular identity skills to return to the wild.
 
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Mountain Cowgirl

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I'm losin' it. Read most of the first paragraph of this article about "100 Dead COWS"
Cut me some slack, this is a forum with a bovine focus right??
That is why I posted it in Coffee Shop where any topic is allowed. If you need a bovine focus, then the roadkill was a steer that broke out and wandered on the highway. The steer belonged to a cowboy wearing Wrangler slim jeans, a George Straight cowboy hat, and Roper laceup boots shined like a diamond in a bulls patoot.

Coffee Shop

A friendly place to talk about the weather, tell jokes and post cowboy poetry.
 

coachg

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I would love to send them some good ole southern crows from Alabama. We definitely need to thin the flock !
 

DosArroyos

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I read a few years ago that there had been a new invention that was going to eliminate at least a third and maybe,as much as,half the state's hwy dept. workers.
 

webfoot

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How bout they get the "Deadass" highway workers out there and get the road kill off the road quickly
I knew a young man in Washington whose job was picking up road kill. Here in Oregon they leave deer size critters and down along the highway to rot away. I have seen fresh killed cows and elk along the road but someone must haul them off because they seem to disappear quickly.
 

DosArroyos

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I know a couple guys that work for the State Hwy Dept and have joked with them about that new invention for probably 30 years now and nothing has changed there.You still will see one or two guys working while 3 or 4 are watching.I think sometimes the ones that are watching with both hands,one over the other,and their chins on top of their hands could possibly be asleep and the shovel is propping them up.
 

Mountain Cowgirl

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Many years ago I was part of a foot drill team in our annual rodeo parade where we dressed like state highway workers and did a synchronized routine dancing, twirling, marching, and then resting on our shovels and then repeating it every 50 feet.
 

webfoot

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Years ago when I was falling timber there was a guy working with us who went to work for the highway dept. Talked to him several times after that. Falling timber you ran or you would be looking for a new job tomorrow. He said the hardest part of the job was dealing with the boredom. After doing little or nothing all day they would lay off early and find a back road to hide at. They couldn't be back to the shop until 4:30. They would quit at 2:00 and find a shady place to park for several hours. They tried to stretch a job out as long as possible.
 

Faster horses

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My father-in-law worked on the county road crew and he couldn't stand exactly what you all mentioned.
He hated it, so he didn't stay long.
My brother-in-law was head of the road crew here in WY and he would NOT allow that to happen.
He drove around checking on what was going on. He retired from there because the quality of people that
were being hired was not up to his expectations.
We used to tell him this joke: 3 highway guys were working along the road. They would dig a hole and
fill it back up. People driving by noticed this oddity and one of them stopped to ask what they were doing.
"We are planting trees," they said.
"But you haven't planted any, you just dig the hole and fill it back up", said the
person that stopped to question what was going on.
"Oh", said the spokesman for the group, "The guy who puts the trees in the ground is out sick today,"
 

damengineer

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Really funny how eyes can play tricks on you. I read so many misspelled posts in the mechanics and machinist forums that I can translate pretty fast. I do wish they would learn that if you don't have a BRAKE on a vehicle that Something is probably going to BREAK !!!!
 

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