• If you are having problems logging in please use the Contact Us in the lower right hand corner of the forum page for assistance.

A lesson for you wives

Texan

Well-known member
This is a long read, but will probably be worth it. I promise. :wink:

This is Shelly:

100_0517.jpg


Shelly was in pretty rough shape when we got her, but this is a pic from back in the summer and she had started healing up. She even looks a lot better now. Not sure about her breeding because she was a stray. We had seen her out on the highway for a couple of weeks when she was just a pup. She was half-starved and trying to live off of whatever she could find in the ditches. Every time we'd drive by her, she'd run off into the woods - really scared and timid.

That all changed one morning when she followed my wife home from the pasture. We've got a policy around here that we don't take in strays - don't even feed them once because if you do they're hard to get rid of. And like many of the rest of you, we spend too much money on our own dogs at the vet to take a chance on a stray infecting them with something.

But this dog was pitiful by the time she finally came up to the house. Nothing but skin and bones, covered with sores from fleas and ticks. It was early in the summer and really hot, so when she followed my wife home, my wife got her some fresh water. And then couldn't resist giving her something to eat. And I really couldn't be too mad about it - the little dog had tried to tough it out on her own but was finally asking for some help. At least, that's the way we looked at it.

After I threw a fit about her feeding a stray, I told her that we'd give her a chance. Neither one of us expected her to make it - that's how bad her condition was. She was extremely wormy and was so eaten up with fleas and ticks that we wondered how she had lived as long as she had. I told my wife I was going to give her a big dose of ivermectin and if she lived through it, we'd try to get her back in shape.

I never really expected her to live through the treatment - I gave her a BIG dose of Equimax and then dosed her with some Safegard drench, too. But she lived through it. And because she lived, we had to come up with a name for her. Since she was nothing but skin and bones - like an old shelly cow - we started calling her Shelly.

And of course, Shelly never would leave after we started feeding her. My wife doctored all the sores on her and bathed her every day. Shelly finally got healthier and healthier. Even then, she was still in pretty bad shape by the time we decided that we had to take her to the vet and start getting some shots into her - and get her spayed. In fact, we were a little embarrassed for anybody to see her.

But we went ahead and spent the money on her and she kept on getting in better and better shape all the time. Her hair started growing back and her coat started getting shiny and she started gaining weight. By that time, she knew she was at home and finally became comfortable just staying around here.

If it's possible for a dog to appreciate someone, Shelly sure appreciates my wife. She is completely devoted to her. It's almost like she knows she'd be dead otherwise. Shelly just tolerates me, but she would follow my wife to hell and back. There's not a move my wife makes that Shelly doesn't know about.

But Shelly has developed a habit lately of going back out to the highway where she lived before she came up to the house. And when she goes, she always finds some sort of 'treasure' that she brings back home to her 'momma.' Shelly has a spot wallowed out in the yard where she lays all the time and this is where she deposits all of the prizes that she brings in from the road.

One time it was a feed sack that had blown out of somebody's truck. Many times it will be field rats or gophers that she catches out in the ditches. She doesn't eat them, she just brings them in and piles them up beside her spot. Once it was a longneck beer bottle. I watched Shelly bring that bottle home and she was so proud of it - she treated it like it was something delicate, like she was going to hurt it.

Another time it was a snuff can. She must have been really careful carrying that, too. She brought it all the way to the house from the road without the lid coming off - but she took the lid off when she got it to her spot because the lid was laying beside the can - weird.

Every morning, my wife has to go out and clean up Shelly's....stuff. The rats and gophers get buried and the rest of the trash goes in the trash can. But one day last week, she found the most unusual 'prize' of all...

My wife was picking up the trash around Shelly's spot and part of it was a little short piece of string off of a feed sack. She looked around expecting to find the rest of the sack, but it was nowhere around. This string was sorta frazzled and balled up on the end - kinda like a piece of plastic haystring that a cow has chewed up and spit back out. You've all seen that, right? Wadded up almost like a ball on the end.

But this was smaller - a short piece of string from a feed sack. But it was still balled up on the end and it had blood on it like it had been hung in Shelly's teeth. My wife is looking at this piece of string - this bloody piece of string - and now she's worried that Shelly might be hurt. She's worried about Shelly pulling a tooth out because the string obviously got caught in her teeth. She's holding it up closer and closer just to be sure that it is, in fact, blood.

Yep, it's definitely blood. But...

Is this the string balled up on the end...or is this...?

No...it's not string balled up. It's....cotton. Like a piece of bloody cotton on the end of a short bloody string... :shock:

Once she realizes what she's holding up to her face, she flings it as far as she can throw it. She doesn't have any idea where it came from, but she knows for sure it didn't come from here. It must be something else that Shelly has brought in from the highway. Shelly must have been so proud.

We keep a bucket by the back door about half full of water that we stick our rubber boots down in to get the mud and cow crap off of them when we come in - so that's the logical place for the first hand washing. She washed them in that bucket of muddy cow crap several times so she could get them 'clean' enough to turn on the faucet. Fortunately, we also keep soap right beside the faucet.

After she washes her hands outside a few times with soap and water, she gets a bottle of bleach that we also keep right there for disinfectant purposes and uses that on her hands - just trying to get them clean enough to go inside to get to the hot water. Once she makes it into the house, she turns the hot water on with her elbows and scrubs until her hands are blistered - and she still feels dirty. After that, she gets her gloves on and gets the shovel and goes back out to bury it.

So...the lesson for you wives to learn from all of this:

If you live close to a highway, be careful what you pick up. Because there's no telling what some people chunk out the window going down the road. :???:

And I suppose there might be one more lesson for you wives. My wife is a pretty good gal, but she would absolutely MURDER me if she knew this story was going out all over the world. So, the other lesson would be:

If you ever find yourself in the position of holding a used tampon of unknown origin up close to your face, be sure you swear your husband to secrecy before you tell him. :lol:
 

Soapweed

Well-known member
If you ever cut your finger off in a pumpjack, one of those similar-type "thingies" works pretty well to help stop the bleeding until you get to the doctor. :wink: :)
 

Cal

Well-known member
:lol: :lol: :lol: Yer a nut! So is your misses still wearing those nice slippers you made for her last Christmas? Remember those?
 

MsSage

Well-known member
:shock: :shock: :shock: :eek: :eek:
I have a feeling Shelly will NOT be bringing YOU back from where your wife is going to leave your remains.
 

Mrs.Greg

Well-known member
:D Good Story,sounds like Shellys a doll.Man Oh man,I hope the Mrs. finds out you posted this....I'd like to hear THAT story after it happens.....Yup A brat all right....
 

Cal

Well-known member
Hey Texan, I found the slippers you made last year. How are they holding up? :wink:

Texan said:
I'd like to take credit for this idea, but I have to admit that I got it from someone else:

How to make bedroom slippers out of maxi pads: You need four maxi pads to make a pair. Two of them get laid out flat, for the foot part. The other two wrap around the toe area to form the top. Tape or glue each side of the top pieces to the bottom of the foot part. Decorate the tops with whatever you desire, silk flowers (this is most aesthetically appealing), etc.

These slippers are:

* Soft and Hygienic

* Non-slip grip strips on the soles

* Built in deodorant feature keeps feet smelling fresh

* No more bending over to mop up spills

* Disposable and biodegradable

* Environmentally safe

* Three convenient sizes: Regular, Light and Get out the Sand Bags.

I've attached a photo of the first pair I made so that you
can see these neat slippers for yourself....

slippers.jpg



Thanks for the idea, txag.


santamoon.gif
 

Texan

Well-known member
Cal said:
Hey Texan, I found the slippers you made last year. How are they holding up? :wink:
The slippers are kind of disappointing, Calvin. I have to change them out every month.
 

Texan

Well-known member
Mrs.Greg said:
Oh man,I hope the Mrs. finds out you posted this....I'd like to hear THAT story after it happens.....Yup A brat all right....
Sorry to disappointment you, Mrs. Albertatroublemaker - but there's not much chance of her ever finding out. Except for doing the books and records, she's not permitted to use the computer.
 

kris

Well-known member
Texan---you were right....the long read was most certainly WELL worth the wait!! Just wish I could be there to see the wife's face when she sees what you posted!! :lol: :lol: :shock: :shock: :shock:
 

jigs

Well-known member
I am always good at guessing what the wife gets me for Christmas, and I nailed it again this year. she was so mad that she demanded we open up our gifts early...just to prove me wrong.... she brought outt a box of tampons that she wrapped up...thought it was real funny.....

but I love the look on her face when I tell her what the gift is before I open it.....
 
Top