If you are having problems logging in please use the Contact Us in the lower right hand corner of the forum page for assistance.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly. You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
Ranchers.net
304 RUSSELL SENATE OFFICE BUILDING
WASHINGTON, DC 20510
DEAR SENATOR KERRY:
WE ARE STILL LAUGHING OVER HERE IN IRAQ AT YOUR JOKE ABOUT THE TROOPS BEING DUMB. WE DO RECOGNIZE THAT YOU ARE A LOT SMARTER THAN WE ARE BECAUSE YOU WERE ABLE TO GET OUT OF COMBAT IN THREE MONTHS. THIS IS WHY WE ARE SEEKING YOUR ADVICE. PLEASE GIVE US GUIDANCE.
1.) WHERE IS THE LEAST PAINFUL AREA ON THE BODY TO INFLICT A WOUND?
2.) DOES IT HAVE TO BLEED OR WILL A SCRATCH DO?
3.) WHERE DO YOU GET THE FORMS TO FILL OUT RECOMMENDING YOURSELF FOR A PURPLE HEART?
4.) DO YOU NEED A WITNESS? IF SO, HOW MUCH DOES THAT COST?
5.) ARE THREE PURPLE HEARTS STILL GOOD FOR A TRIP HOME?
6.) WHAT IS A REALISTIC PERIOD OF TIME IN WHICH TO ACQUIRE THESE WOUNDS? LESS THAN THREE MONTHS SOUNDS A LITTLE SUSPICIOUS EVEN TO US.
THANKS FOR YOUR HELP AND KEEP THE JOKES COMING.
JUST A DUMB G.I.
P.S....WHAT ADVICE CAN YOU GIVE ME ON HOW TO MEET REALLY RICH WOMEN?