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A little poetry I made durin class... well, how is it?

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Angus Cattle Shower

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Revenge. Sweet, sweet revenge!




The smell of singed hair;
floating up through the crisp, fall air.
With all the calves bawlin’ and cryin’,
the bull calve’s nuts we will be fryin’.
Black, red tan and a mix;
On this day, a glass of Coke would be a great fix.
Pushin the calves up the alley is my job;
that is, until someone broke the shop door knob.
Uh-oh. Out of red tags;
those two cows just charged me, stupid bags!!
Chasin’ the calves up the alley once more;
I just got kicked by that calf where it hurts - - OH DEAR, OH LORD!
Why did this happen to me instead of him?
Why me, why not Jim?
Thay hauled me off to the grass;
they dropped me down on my ass!
“Ice, Ice!” I call, “That little bugger just kicked me in the balls!”
They stand there, tryin’ not to laugh, still think they are walking tall!
I shout to those laughin’ “Well why don’t you try to get that calf out of the alley, and into the pen?”
They all try and fail, all but me.
I put a post in behind him,
an’ I put a halter on this calf an’ he bucks like it’s the devil’s worst sin.
I pull him up to the headgate;
I tell him, “Now to be a steer is your new fate”.
Slice, slice, now he’s cut;
To get him outta the squeeze, I had to kick him in the butt.
That new steer just ran an’ ran.
One guy came and said, “ to get that steer up there, well that really took a man.
Later that night, when the mix was runnin’ low,
They came into the room, their faces aglow.
They gave me a plate with two fried nuts on it;
an’ they said, “Boy, these are from the steer that got you hit.
Revenge, sweet, sweet revenge...

Sooo, how is it?
 

Big Muddy rancher

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What I want to know is what your teacher thinks. :shock:

Pretty good Stud, some day you'll be givin' of your time doing Cowboy poetry just like the big boys. :wink:
 

fedup2

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You seem like a fine young man with a good head on your shoulders so I hope you take this in the same way that you asked that your calf be critiqued. These comments are only meant that you have an area that needs improvement and are not meant as criticism.

In another post you referred to young ladies as ‘chicks’. As the father of two daughters, I will tell you that if you referred to one of my daughters as a chick, we would have gotten off on the wrong foot from the start. You see, I was taught at a tender age to respect women. I know that you feel comfortable chatting with the ladies on this forum as you share common interests such as cattle. That is a good thing as you always have someone who cares and you can bounce ideas off of or ask questions, but there is a fine line that should not be crossed.

I used to be amazed when I was a young man, to see some of these women in their work clothes, running every piece of machinery on the place. Cutting, branding, etc. doing whatever had to be done, then walk into the house when the day was done and dress up for an evening out.

Geeze, they didn’t take second place to anyone as far as beauty, charm, anything. What changed? Nothing! Only the way they dressed. They deserved the same respect when they were sitting on that cow pie holding that calf down as they do at the governor’s ball. If you were at this governors ball, would you read this poem to the audience? Do you feel it would be appropriate? Treat these ladies with the same respect as you would the ladies there.

Again, this is not meant to be criticism. Even at your young age, I can see from reading some of your posts that you are heading in the right direction in many ways. If I felt different, I wouldn’t have taken the time to point this out to you. Best of luck with your ranching future.
 

Big Muddy rancher

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Fed up whuile I agree with you on the tratment of woman. I will tell you that many fine men and women have written Cowboy poetry that's probably not suited to be read at the Governors ball.
 

Angus Cattle Shower

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Well, round here, even the women themselves call them chicks. I know of only four or five girls that live in the country, and they are all waaayyy older then me (4-5 years). I treat all people the exact as I would treat myself-- with loyalty, consideration and respect. Thanks for pointing out that some people do not get treated with respect. Just out of curiosity, what did that have to do with my poem thpugh? It's just about a kid doing the work that a man was not able to do.


BMr,
I wrote it durin science during the review. :p I got board, and I'll have to syudy it tonite and this weekend anyways. :wink: :wink: :roll:

Have a good one!
 

Jinglebob

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I will not give you an honest anwer unless you tell me to and know that there may be things told to you, that are meant to help, but may discourage you in future efforts. How's that for straddling the fence? :lol:

I am not very comepitive and believe that the only true competition is with oneself. If you like it, that should be good enough. If you are not happy with it, then ask why. Hope you understand what I am trying to say. Keep up the effort. :)
 

Angus Cattle Shower

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I don't think that anyone would be better at straddling the fence than you, Jinglebob. But seriously, I like it, and I just did it because I was board. I would like feedback--both positive and negative, because then I can see what other people think. I have ten foot thick skin, but it does not mean that I have a ten foot thick skull. :wink: :roll: :p 8) :lol:
 

mp.freelance

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While I don't think you'll be getting the Pulitzer anytime soon, all in all it was a funny poem. I think Ralph Waldo Emerson started his career with a poem about getting kicked in the balls also.
 

Jinglebob

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Angus Cattle Shower said:
I don't think that anyone would be better at straddling the fence than you, Jinglebob. But seriously, I like it, and I just did it because I was board. I would like feedback--both positive and negative, because then I can see what other people think. I have ten foot thick skin, but it does not mean that I have a ten foot thick skull. :wink: :roll: :p 8) :lol:

Ok, here goes and no meanness intended.

I think it's a bit raunchy for this site. It might go over if there weren't ladies or small children around.

The meter is off a bit and the ryhme scheme is also off. There were several lines that were not ryhmed or were "near ryhmes" which I don't personally care for.

As I said before, it's a good place to start and I'm sure you will just get better and better.

As Haymaker used to say, "Good luck".
 

cowsense

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Yes Jinglebob: you gave some good encouragement altho your first post actually showed true wisdom: with a little more age I'm sure young ACS will also come to realize the value of your original post :!:
 

Jinglebob

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I never started to write good stuff until I had people who I liked their poetry, tell me why mine didn't come out as good as theirs. And I still am not totally happy with what I write and hope to achieve better results someday. When you quit trying to learn or get better at anything, your dead!

Like the famous quote about 1% insperation and 99% persperation, most things in life take work to get better.

I have been apprenticeing to a feller who does some fantastic Sheridan Style leathercarving. It's been good to see the improvement. I still haven't reached his level, but mine is wayyyyy better than it was, through him pointing out what was right and wrong about mine. I need to get back over to his place and spend some time. Only problem is he lives about 200 miles from me! :?
 

Angus Cattle Shower

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Like I said, it was all just for fun, and I just did it because I was bored. I don't think that I'll go pro :wink: 8) :D It's all just for fun and cause sceince reviews bore me, since I'll have to study them anyways. :p


What happened to Haymaker anyways??!!

Good luck!!
 

Mrs.Greg

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Angus,our son read this hes 24 and has been writing since 5,hes had a few things published.....he grinned and said had he wrote that at thirteen he would have been the class hero with the boys! If you like writing keep it up and take constructive critisicm,you wrote what you know!Although Dustins been writing for alot of years he just recently started cowboy poetry,and says its alot harder then he expected,so hats off to all cowboy poets on ranchers!!
 

Angus Cattle Shower

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HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE! I've had a cold for the last few days, so you are the only people that have ever read it. I wrote one more since then, and I am finding a liking for it! This is like fuelling a fire for me. A fire that has never been lit. :wink: I'll try to get something new for you guys.
 

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