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A vandal in Valentine

Silver

Well-known member
Lewd, crude vandal leaves his greasy imprint on Nebraska town
Published: Thursday, September 11, 2008 | 6:47 PM ET
Canadian Press: Nate Jenkins, THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
VALENTINE, Neb. - Boy, how people here wish their busiest vandal would find another way to make his mark.

Beginning more than a year ago, some man has been skipping from one business to another at night, pressing his naked behind - sometimes his groin, sometimes both - on windows.

Store owners, church workers and school janitors have had to wash lotion and petroleum jelly off the windows he selects.

Police Chief Ben McBride says it's the weirdest case he's ever seen.

Some residents of Valentine, a town of about 2,650 people, find some humour in the strange vandalism and have taken to calling the perpetrator the "Butt Bandit."

But they also can't help but cringe when finding his marks.


"We were completely grossed out," said Kalli Kieborz, who works in a downtown building. "One day I walked into the office and an employee said, 'Oh, my God, we've been struck!"'

The police chief is far from amused.

"It's not funny," McBride said. "We're worried about the next step."

It started in spring 2007, when the window of a Methodist church was greased with an imprint. McBride figured it was a high school prank. But the church kept getting hit, even after police staked it out.

The bandit struck business after business, window after window last summer.

Then he - and maybe, McBride said, copycat vandals - stopped over the fall and winter.

"People said he was done," McBride said. "Then he started back up this summer."

During one particularly brazen session, virtually all the windows at a local hotel were imprinted.

McBride said no one has reported seeing the vandal in action. The only clue is a blurry picture of him caught by a surveillance camera at the middle school last year.

The man was six feet tall or slightly taller, and slender. He had a dark complexion, and McBride said the man's dark hair was styled in a "1980s, feathered look."

Valentine, in remote north-central Nebraska, promotes itself as "The Heart City." Downtown sidewalks are painted with hearts, and locals encourage people from around the country to send their Valentine's Day cards to the local post office so they can be mailed out with the word "Valentine" stamped on them.

"This is not normal behaviour for Valentine," Cherry County Attorney Eric Scott said. "It's not funny or something people want to be exposed to."
 

nr

Well-known member
What a weird prank! It sounds like its time for some very well hidden surveillance cameras.

On the positive side, Valentine must be positively gleaming with clean windows!
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
Faster horses said:
I bet he is BUTT UGLY!! :p

:shock: :shock: :shock: :oops: :oops: :lol: :lol:

The man was six feet tall or slightly taller, and slender.
Unless his diet is working better than we thought we can rule out old Soap- and Saddletramp-- don't know where Sandhusker has been spending his spare time tho.. :wink:
 

Soapweed

Well-known member
Oldtimer said:
Faster horses said:
I bet he is BUTT UGLY!! :p

:shock: :shock: :shock: :oops: :oops: :lol: :lol:

The man was six feet tall or slightly taller, and slender.
Unless his diet is working better than we thought we can rule out old Soap- and Saddletramp-- don't know where Sandhusker has been spending his spare time tho.. :wink:

I plead endocent to the assident. :wink:

Maybe the guy thinks his butt-prints look like a valentine, and he is just trying to promote the spirit of the town. :roll: :)
 

burnt

Well-known member
Soapweed said:
Oldtimer said:
Faster horses said:
I bet he is BUTT UGLY!! :p

:shock: :shock: :shock: :oops: :oops: :lol: :lol:

The man was six feet tall or slightly taller, and slender.
Unless his diet is working better than we thought we can rule out old Soap- and Saddletramp-- don't know where Sandhusker has been spending his spare time tho.. :wink:

I plead endocent to the assident. :wink:

Maybe the guy thinks his butt-prints look like a valentine, and he is just trying to promote the spirit of the town. :roll: :)

OOOh, Soap, that could be taken as a nasty double entendre'. :lol: :lol: :lol:
 

jigs

Well-known member
the funny thing is, my cousin from Lincoln is in Valentine doing some work. I think he is with a road work crew or surveyers.... but he sent out a notice on his Facebook page about being there, right before I got an email about this butt bandit.... so now I am accusing him as the bandit !

you guys see a skinny red headded kid named Kevin, tell him Matt says Hello, and Go K State! he will know it is me!
 

burnt

Well-known member
Soapweed said:
Martin Jr. said:
The Butt imprint was bad but the UP front imprint was the wurst!

I never sausage an imprint. :wink:

A limp disclaimer at best, Soapweed . . . . . :wink:

"No suspect yet", the sheriff pants, "buttocks are under way to apprehend the bum".
 

Buyer

Well-known member
I called a friend of mine in Valentine to if he had a new hobby. He told me that they caught the bareass bandit.
 

burnt

Well-known member
Buyer said:
I called a friend of mine in Valentine to if he had a new hobby. He told me that they caught the bareass bandit.


Did you perchance mean the "embarrassed" bandit?

Dooooh.

Edit - oops, soap, you beat me to it.
 
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