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Absent Notes

Tommy

Well-known member
Absent Notes

These are (supposedly) real notes written from parents in an Arkansas school district. (Spellings have been left intact.)

My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.

Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also the 33.

Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he Fell out of tree and misplaced his hip.

John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

Megan could not come to school today because she has been Bothered by very close veins.

Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had(diahre)(dyrea)(direathe) the shits. [Words in parentheses had been crossed out]

Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.

Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear.

Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.

Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to Attend her funeral.

My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.

Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

Please excuse Brenda, she has been sick and under the doctor.
 

Martin Jr.

Well-known member
Here's one that I found in an old newspaper of about 1916.

"She had a head egg and a tooth egg and a ear egg. she could not go to school, she was laying all the time in bed."
 

Red Robin

Well-known member
Turkey Track Bar said:
No comment from Red Robin...hmmmm.

Cheers----

TTB :wink:
Ok, here's the only one my mother ever used for me.

"Please excuse Red Robin for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak. "

The rest are surely lies.
 
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