My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping the channels.
> She asked, 'What's on TV?'
> I said, 'Dust.'
>
> And then the fight started...
>
>
> =================================================
>
>
> My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
> She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3
> seconds.'
> I bought her a new bathroom scale.
>
> And then the fight started...
>
>
> ==================================================
>
>
> When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
> expensive....
> So, I took her to a gas station...
>
> And then the fight started....
>
>
> ==================================================
>
>
> My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I
> kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a
> nearby table.
> My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
> 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend.. I understand she took to
> drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she
> hasn't been sober since.'
> 'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on
> celebrating that long?'
>
> And then the fight started...
>
>
> ==================================================
>
>
> I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road
> and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes
> you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?
> yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!
> He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT
HAPPY!'
> So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'
>
> And then the fight started...
>
>
> ==================================================
>
>
> THE BROKEN LAWN MOWER
>
> When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me
> that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to
> take care of first, the truck, the car, playing golf, always something
> more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her
> point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass,
> busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.
> I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I
> was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a
> toothbrush. I said, 'When you finish cutting the grass, you might as
> Well sweep the driveway.'
>
> The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
> She asked, 'What's on TV?'
> I said, 'Dust.'
>
> And then the fight started...
>
>
> =================================================
>
>
> My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
> She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3
> seconds.'
> I bought her a new bathroom scale.
>
> And then the fight started...
>
>
> ==================================================
>
>
> When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
> expensive....
> So, I took her to a gas station...
>
> And then the fight started....
>
>
> ==================================================
>
>
> My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I
> kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a
> nearby table.
> My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
> 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend.. I understand she took to
> drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she
> hasn't been sober since.'
> 'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on
> celebrating that long?'
>
> And then the fight started...
>
>
> ==================================================
>
>
> I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road
> and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes
> you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?
> yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!
> He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT
HAPPY!'
> So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'
>
> And then the fight started...
>
>
> ==================================================
>
>
> THE BROKEN LAWN MOWER
>
> When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me
> that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to
> take care of first, the truck, the car, playing golf, always something
> more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her
> point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass,
> busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.
> I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I
> was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a
> toothbrush. I said, 'When you finish cutting the grass, you might as
> Well sweep the driveway.'
>
> The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.