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Any strange Pig stories in your past?

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nr

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After a long hiatus I've resumed working on the novel based on the old family diaries and was wondering if any of you have had a funny/dangerous situation with a pig that you wouldn't mind becoming part of the main character's life. The main character actually did work with pigs for awhile but, other than eating 'em, I've had absolutely no experience with the critters so am fresh out of ideas. I know some of you ranchers have had a checkered past (not only working with cattle!) so thought I'd just ask.
Anyway it might make enjoyable reading for the rest.

(I noticed back in 2005 Haymaker alluded to a pig bite.)
 

Kato

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I'll take a shot. Back in our young and poor (er) days, we kept a few sows. None of that high tech self cleaning self feeding barn stuff either. We used the old fashioned carry the feed in, and shovel it out later by hand method. :?

Story number one. One day I came home from town to see that my husband had taken the garden tiller out and worked down the weeds in the garden. It was all freshly tilled between the rows, up and down from one end to the other. It looked wonderful! I found him in the shop and thanked him. He just looked at me with an odd expression on his face like he didn't know what I was talking about. Turns out that one of our sows had gotten out, and proceeded to do my gardening for me. She didn't touch a single plant! If only we could train them to do things like that. :D

Story number two. We tried the route of buying fancy purebred boars, but they never turned out. They just weren't tough enough for life in a normal barn. We decided to keep one of our own weanlings and raise him up to do the job. We called him Dwayne. He was a very motivated hard worker too. He had his own pen, which he stayed in pretty much all the time... except when there was a sow to breed. Then he would climb out, go to the sow's pen, climb in and spend some quality time. Then he would climb back out and go back to his own pen. We never once had to move that boar. :wink:

Story number three. We had a pen outside that we kept the dry sows in for the summer. It had a small automatic waterer that worked when they pushed a lever with their noses. It didn't take them long to figure out how that worked! Within a day or two they'd found out how to put a rock in there so it would overflow and make a nice big puddle to wallow in. We'd take the rock out, and they'd have another one dug up and put back in within an hour. We finally gave up and let them have their fun. :roll:

Pigs may be smelly, but they are also very smart.
 

Denny

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When my oldest daughter was 3 she had a pig named Fat Butch it was an escape artist it had a plank fence pen and it would climb up and over.One day we come in the yard, now this pig has grown to about 350#sas we pull up Callie look's out the car window and says MAMA Fat Butch is in my pool.Here's this pig laying in a little kiddy pool.
 

the_jersey_lilly_2000

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For a bout a year my dad worked for a large pig farm around Lubbock. Before goin into the pig barn, all the employees had to shower and change into company supplied sterile coveralls. Then shower again before they left, dad was probably in his mid 40s, and all the other guys that worked there were younger guys. They all thought it was funny to turn the hot water off durin shower time. They referred to dad, as Ole Man.......and most wouldnt turn the water off on him......I guess they just didnt think he'd "play that game" well one day he was comin out, and everyone else was in the shower.......and he turned the hot water off......Got the whole push good. After that, everyone was fair game.
 

Turkey Track Bar

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nr...

I was raised with pigs, as well as cattle, sheep and horses...and in all honesty they are probably my favorite critter (I love all creatures, great and small, though.) I showed pigs for 10+ years in 4-H and really wish Mr. TTB would allow me to have a pig...but to no avail.

I have some pretty funny pig stories--not very many involve anything tragic...

I can tell you that pigs can kill chickens in no time, and if a sow has piglets can outrun anything...and that the boars have long, long tusks. Also, if pigs taste blood, they become very mean, to the point of even being cannabalistic.

One time we had a lot of snow and ice, and my dad fell in one of the hog pens and broke a couple of ribs, so was having a tough time getting up. His biggest fear was that in falling he'd scraped something and was bleeding. Pigs are very curious and smart creatures, and therefore were rooting at him with their snouts. He was really afraid that they would taste blood and eat him.

As a little kid if you could not find me I'd always be at the hog pens, and much to my mom's dismay would even drink out of their automatic water nipples (even kinda grosses me out today!)

And, nr....in case you need some hog terminology....

A female pig that hasn't been bred is a gilt (kinda like heifer in cattle)
A female pig that has been bred/had pigs, is a sow
A intact male is a boar
A castrated male is a barrow
The process of a sow having piglets is farrowing (or as one of our neighbors calls it "pigging")
And, if memory serves me, a "herd" of pigs is actually a "drove"
And you "herd" a pig or a drove (to get them from point a to point b) you "drive" them

And, also, hogs are the most intelligent of all domestic animals...

They have many uses in human health, like replacement heart valves, and often times the skin used in burn patients is really hog skin.

Hope I haven't given you too much info.....

Cheers, and good luck writing!!!

TTB :wink:
 

fedup2

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A travelling salesman of agricultural machinery was on a three week tour through the hinterlands of southern Arkansas and was visiting one particular farmer. He was standing, alongside of the farmer, leaning on the corral rail - as he always did before pitching "the new line of tractors" - and looking at all of the farm animals in the barnyard. Seeing one particular pig, he said: "Say, that sure is a fine hog, but, you know, I have never seen a pig with one wooden leg before." The farmer said: "You see, that there pig is one valuable animal, I can tell you. That there hog saved my life three times."

"The first time was about a month ago. My wife fried potatoes for supper, just the way I like them, and left the frying pan on the stove. About midnight or so, the pig must have smelled the smoke, but be broke out of his pen, butted the house door open with his snout, woke us up and we got out of the house just in time."

"And it wasn't but two weeks later and I was mowing on the back forty and I tipped the tractor over and it pinned me under the rear wheel. Gas was leaking out of the tank onto the hot manifold and that pig must have heard me yelling, because he broke out again, ran up to me, saw what had happened, ran to the neighbour, got help and the neighbour came with his tractor and pulled me free."

"And just last week, I was leading the old dairy bull out to pasture, and he raised up and pulled the ring out of his nose and, quick as two shakes of a dog's tail, he knocked me down. He jumped on me and straddled me with his horns and was about to gore me, when the old pig heard what was going on, broke out again, ran up, got a firm hold on the old bull's tail and I got away."

Having heard the explanation, the salesman said: "All well and good, but that doesn't explain why that hog has got a wooden leg." The farmer replied: "Well, in a way, it does. A pig that is that valuable is way too valuable to eat all at one time".
 

nr

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Those were all interesting stories. Who would have guessed pigs could be that smart and agile! Thank you for the ideas and fun stories and piggy terminology. I'll PM you when it is clearer which fit the plot and put you in the credits.

Question: how high a fence can they climb? It must look very strange to see a fat hog climbing!
 

Big Muddy rancher

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Horses that aren't used to pigs are deathly afraid of them. I was up in the top corral riding some colts when the neighbors pigs showed up. It was quite the time with horses snorting and blowing. They sure had their heads up in the air. For years when we rode thru that neighbors yard the horses always were nervous. Must have been the smell.
Was trucking cattle in febuary quite afew years ago. saw a small feeder pig in the road ditch. It was getting quite cold so my dad and I stopped on our last load home and caught him. Kept him in the box stall in the barn. He was doing real good . Nobody seem to know who he belonged to but come spring just as he was aboput ready to eat a neighbour to the north claimed him. Said that was his ear notch. Never even got some pork chops.
 

fedup2

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A Christmas Pig
© Jack Wessels

published in ANVIL Magazine, December 1995

Winter was nearin' and I was a fearin'
that starving would be my demise
Cause shoeing is slow when winter winds blow
and not being particular wise
I hadn't saved back for in case of a lack
should befall my farrier work
My head fairly reeled, I swear I could feel
my backbone through the front of my shirt
Then just in the nick, some guy called, "Come quick -
got a yearling bad off, going lame"
Now corrective shoein' takes a little doin'
so mentally I started counting my gain
But I thought I would choke when he said he was broke
and would I please work for a trade?
I was instantly hot, but said, "What ya got?"
holding back my verbal tirade
"Bring out your rig and I'll give you a pig"
now I'll say that left me agog
What kind of a twit would even admit
to raising both horses and hogs?
I'll tell you right now that I prefer cow
beef is more to my taste
Then my brain got to tickin' - at least it's not chicken
so I said, "I'll be there - post haste!"
Ham sandwiches! Link sausages!
Pork chops! and Bacon! and Loin!
My mouth fairly watered anticipating our barter
Oh, the foodstuffs I'd soon be enjoyin'
That colt was a case - had to make a brace
to heal up his deep flexor tendon
Then wanting what's mine, I asked for my swine
and you know he seemed plum offended
He came back from the barn and under one arm
was a little bitty pig - just weaned
He claimed he said pig, not how big
and I wondered, should I hit him in each eye, or between?
But I cussed him up and down and headed for town
with the pig in the pickup with me
Here I was broke, but not alone in my poke
hoping none of my friends would see
Now the gal I'd been courtin' was pretty important
she ran the local Dairy Whiz
With my natural charm and a pig under my arm
I strolled in and said, "Guess what this is"
"Merry Christmas" I said using my head
"This pig's for you!" She cried!
"It's a pot-bellied pig, it won't get very big,"
"They make exceptional pets" - I lied
When I got her calmed down and finally looked around
the pig was nowhere to be seen
We found him in back where he had seriously attacked
a bucket of leftover ice cream
She thought that was cute and soon my repute
was coming close to being restored
I knew I was in when he nuzzled her chin
"Can I keep him?" she implored
Come a year later, I'm a cook and a waiter
Me and the pig have a home
I found marital bliss at the Dairy Whiz
serving up burgers and fries and cones
It didn't take long to prove I was wrong
about the breed of her favorite pet
when he hit half a ton I thought he'd be done
but he weren't through growing yet
He was a spectacle it's true but what could I do
that pig was the talk of the town
so I broke him to drive and we'd go for a ride
every evening about sundown
But late last night, he tried to pick a fight
to prove that he could be rank
Like a Sumo he grunted, it was blood that he wanted
as he took on the propane tank
He let out with a roar, he's a dim-witted boar
as he and the tank, they did roll
With gas spewing out, they wrestled about
but he never reached his goal
It took only one spark to light up the dark
and barbecue our curly-tailed pet
Now come over soon, we'll start about noon
you're welcome to eat all you can get
We'll have ice cream and fries and a porky surprise
a self-serve meal sure to please
oh, and bring a ladder and rope, it's your only hope
for picking roast pig out of all them there trees
 

OldDog/NewTricks

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In 4h/FFA I worked the show string for our 4H leaders husbands pigs. At one Fair the pigs were in 6X6 pens - we had one pen that was our on the road Bedroom with pigs on 3 sides - Joe my friend, a fellow worker left his pants to close to the fence one night when we beded down - in the morrning the pigs had eaten a big part of this Jeans, his belt, and his Billfold with his weeks spending money in it. $50
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My X told me when she knew she was going to marry me - - I was the only guy she knew that could carry 2 slop buckets like she could. I'll leave it there...
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In the 50's Pig Hunting was an area 150 miles south - - we'd go to the local auction and buy anything with Wild Pig in it - - We bring them home and turn the loose in our hills ""Bad Move"" when I got out of 4 year with USAF I was in the back country and came on a valley that had bin Disked - - Dawned on me it was pigs.
----------------------------
As a manger at Casa De Fruita on 152 I was headed to work one AM when it was just getting light. I notices a pony running loose - turned out to be a sow with a drove of piglets in tail - right on a turn - - I got on the CB and put out tthe warning - - big riggs were Jack Knifed every where
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I was home on Leave diring our Fair - - a 4her's Young sow was in trouble farrowing.

Note:
Sows have 2 tubs with piglet in each tub - - they deliver one tub and then the other tub. - - The same with dogs

I delivered one tub and was giving us both a break ( there was 100+ people standing around watching) I lay down and had my arm in up past my elbow whrn I looked up.

This young girl was standing at the fence with this look on her face and Both Hand on her womb feeling/living every move I made - - the crowd laughted and laughted - - I've always felt so sorry for that young lady.
-------------------------
My cool friend, the one that left his pants next to the fence, had this BAD Line to pick-up girls.
Hey girls - have you seen the baby piggeys yet?
To this day we tease him - -
Hey Girls - Joe wants to know.......
 

nr

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Thanks fedup2 for the poem which seemed to cover almost all the pig characteristics mentioned and then some :D

And Old Dog/New Tricks: how much sleep did you get the night in the pigpen?! Those were some good stories. And what did the locals think of you releasing wild pigs?

I hope the rest of you have enjoyed all these pig stories and poem as much as we have. Thanks a bunch :clap: :lol: :lol: :lol: I hope this book does get published in some way or other so you can see your stories transported to the 1800s.
 

Been There

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Quite a few years ago I was ropin' calves at a brandin'. At one end of the small corral there was a pigpen. My horse had never seen a pig, or smelled one, so I had to force him back into the ropin' pen each time.

By the way, have you ever tried to rope a pig?
 

Shelly

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Pigs are very smart creatures, you can train them quite easily. One year many years ago, we had three in the barn we were fattening up for the freezers. They all had names, Trudeau, Blakeney, and Broadbent. We taught them with slices of bread as a reward to stand up with their front feet on the edge of the pen and give us a speech on command. They made as much sense as those three politicians did themselves!
 

HAY MAKER

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It was a hot and dusty day in south Texas,hot enough ta sun burn a horned toad, me and elmo had been patchin fence all day,sun was getting low so we headed ta town.
Dilley Tx,is a small town south of San Antonio really just kinda one road thru there,typical lil south TX town, bank, grocery store, feed mill and five & dime and a ice house,which is where me and elmo was when the Valdez brothers pulled up.
The Valdez brothers are locals all five of them and they supply day labor to ranchers in and around the county,pretty good fence builders and not bad cowboys.
Problem is they like to hunt,and they dont really care what time of the year it is,I dont believe I have ever walked up to their camp site that some thing was'nt cooking,every thing from armadilla to venado was fair game,but their favorite was Hogs.
They have an ole beat up chevrolet pickup with one wooden rail around the bed and a sheet of plywood for a cover,got it fixed so as the dogs can see and sniff some fresh air but cant get out,just open the tail gate and they jump in and out.
Well when the Valdez brothers pulled up to the ice house all their dogs were riding on top of the dog box and as usual,were raisin hell.elmo said they got some hogs in that dog box,sure nough after howdy's they comenced ta tell us about running hogs on Mr Stewarts place,had put a few big sows in a pen on his place and were takin a few pigs home ta be fed for eatin.
Well elmo wants ta take a look at em he might just take one and corn feed him cuz he needs some pork for the sausage he's gonna make,about that time I started getting a feeling something is gonna happen,doing some quick cowboy "rithmatic" and knowing elmo like I do its just a matter a time.
Well it was'nt long till elmo and the valdez brothers come ta an agreement on a pig,problem is the Valdez brothers were drunk when they got there and elmo was feelin no pain by the time they agreed ta take $6 for the pig.
elmo's gonna drop the tail gate on his pickup and back up to the Valdez brother's close enough ta run one outa their pickup into his,gotta worn out camper shell on it. Close the tail gates and get back ta socializing.
Well as soon as valdez opens that tail gate all hell breaks loose,ever pig in that box rushed that drunk meskin,I think they were 1/4 mile down main street with the dogs and Valdez brothers in hot pursuit before ole elmo got outa his pickup.
Dogs barkin,pigs squealin,and meskins cussin,right down main street and ta top it off,a big woman was done shoppin at the five & dime right when a pig ran past her and in the store,you talkin bout a mess now,all those ladies in the five & dime squealin,pigs squealin,bout that time I told elmo,time ta go boy,me and you need ta head to the Hill country...................good luck
 

OldDog/NewTricks

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nr said:
And Old Dog/New Tricks: how much sleep did you get the night in the pigpen?! And what did the locals think of you releasing wild pigs?

how much sleep did you get the night in the pigpen?
We'd be on the Show Circuit for weeks at a time shown Cattle, and/or Sheep, and/or Pigs so we got where we slept well. Cattle and Sheep usually have Alleys behind the animals where one can sleep - no such luck with pigs - one pen for Feed & Tack and one for sleep - was hard to get use to people fileing by looking at you sleeping - pull your sleeping bag up over your head. (great life For Kids

what did the locals think of you releasing wild pigs?
in the short time it was Ok - we had pigs to hunt - - Long term not so good - pig every where - tearing-up Yards, roads, fences, pastures - im housing Distrects - more than we can shoot and PETA wants to "Protect Them" but lits of Pig BBQ's
In retrospect I'd say it was a DUMB Move
 

OldDog/NewTricks

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A friend "Buster" was President of the Paint Hores Assoc. in early 70's - long story but we caught a Baby Wild Pig on this place - took it home and his wife raised it with their Working Dogs - that pig would work cattle and chase cars _Oink_ at strangers - thought it was a dog - was house broke :!:
 

OldDog/NewTricks

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Goat Stories

Ivan called me. When I got there he said “I paid some SOB big bucks to put a new roof on this house and it leaks – look at it and tell me what you think!

I looked at his roof and reported – (his girl friend) Candy's goats feet had pinched little hole all over the roof - - they could jump up on the Butane Tank and then on the roof.

Ivan – Your nuts They wouldn’t do that!

I was sitting at the kitchen table – looking out the window I said:
You know that New Caddy you bought yesterday… – it’s a goat mound today

Candy had gotten rid of all but ONE of her goats - while she was in the Hospital Ivan called me –

Take that Dam Goat and kill it or something :!:

Not wanting to kill it I took it home – the next day I went to the hospital to visit Candy – Ivan walked in and Candy through a vase of flowers at him - - saying
“He Killed My Goat :!:

I tried to tell Candy (Ok – I’m in trouble here)
Goat are like women - they get Horny – If their not getting it at home they’ll go Looking for It :!: (I had to explain in term she’d understand)

I kept offering the goat back to Ivan but…. They fought for months over this dam goat

Candy’s goat could escape from the best pen – One day She got out of her pen and my yard went down the street and walked in to a store. When the Humane Officer got there he took one look and said
“That’s Candy’s Goat” :!:
She (the goat) had gotten bred while she was at my place and I told Candy

“See, SEE, What’d I Tell You” :!:
To this day Candy is still apologizing to Ivan
 

Clarence

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We have raised hogs here. Hogs help pay for the farm. Hogs are considered to be the mortgage lifters.
Dad had spring farrowing sows and a few fall farrowing ones, as he had Fedral Land payment due in November and again in May. One of my brothers and I also raised pigs for a time. They provided cash flow, so we did not have to rely so much on the banker.

I have no real good stories to tell, but one winter, or early spring, he and his neighbor, Tom Rasmussen put their hogs together and drove them eight miles through the snow to what we called the Crookston road so they could load hem on a semi to go to the Omaha market.

It would take more than one post to tell you how we raised hogs and to tell you about that winter. I actually wasn't home that winter. My brother and I were boarding in town going to high school. We were only 13 miles from town, but we didn't drive like kids do now. This was in 1944 a war year. If you had a A sticker on your windshield, you were allowed 4 gallon of gas a week. We lived in the country so we had a B sticker and were allowed some more. I don't know if the old 1936 Ford or it's tires would have held out if had drove it to school. Besides that we didn't have very good roads. They hadn't been graded since 1935 or 36 when that was done by the WPA.
 

HAY MAKER

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NR,if you need another pig story,let me know & I will tell you bout tha time I won a case of Lone Star,riding a wild sow...............good luck
PS I have a picture around here some where of some one maybe elmo riding a hog,if I find it tomorrow I will post it..................good luck & good nite.
 

Faster horses

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My husband has roped a pig. You get them around the middle, as they have no neck. It is not an easy feat...he says he was just lucky.

We used to have a few pigs and we had the darndest thing happen. We milked a cow or two and the young pigs climbed out of their pen and started sucking the cows! This is no joke!!! They got addicted to that milk and we had a heck of a time with them. They could sit on their rear and suck, or if the cow laid down, they would lay down and suck. They were so addicted, they would climb up the boards in the pen to get out to get with the cows. We had to make the pen solid to the top to stop them. It sure was funny and I did not take any pictures!!!!! Oh, so many times I wish I had; but they got pretty wary because of getting in trouble for doing it.

Then my cousins husband fell in the pig pen when he was young and the pigs started to eat his ears. To this day the scars are still visible. They almost got him!!! Luckily someone was there and got him out in the nick of time.
 

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