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Auntie Lilly

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the_jersey_lilly_2000

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Good News at the Thanksgiving Dinner table today. My 5 year old neice leaned over and whispered in my ear..........."I'm gittin a new baby brother or sister, and it's name is gonna be Buttercup" (not real sure where she came up with that name, but for now, mom n dad are happy to call it/he/she Buttercup..... :D :heart: :D
 

the_jersey_lilly_2000

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OH heck NOOOOOO, not me.....I"m done, finished....capput, fanito....aint happeninnnnnnnnnnnn......NOOOO Thank youuuuuuuu!!!! As much as I love my kiddo's I don't want any more....I'll just enjoy mine, and sit back n wait for grandkids.......

LOL Mr Lilly's brother and his wife are expecting a new one.....I just gitta play the part of proud auntie :D :D :D
 

Jinglebob

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When we got married I tyold the little woman I wanted 10 kids. After having three she said I needed to find another woman to have the rest! :lol:

But after this first grandson, I sure would skip kids and go for grandchildren, if I had to do it over! :lol:
 

alabama

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Who ever heard of a cowboy called "Buttercup?"
I hope for its sake it is a cowgirl.
 

fedup2

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Little Jenny walked into the kitchen one day and looked up at her mother, who was busy cooking dinner. "Mommy, how old are you?" she asked.

"Now dear," said her mother, "You should never ask a woman what her age is."

"Why not?" demanded Jenny.

"Because it isn't polite. You'll understand better when you grow up."

Jenny thought about it for a moment, then piped up, "Mommy, how much do you weigh?"

"Jenny," said her mother, "That's not a question you ask people."

"Why not?" demanded Jenny.

"Because it's not polite to ask grown-ups about how much they weigh. You'll understand some day."

"Mommy," Jenny asked, "Why did you and Daddy get divorced?"

"Darling," her mother replied with a sigh, "That's something that's still very painful for Mommy, and I really can't talk about it now. I'll explain when you are a little older."

The next day, Jenny told a friend at school about the conversation with her mother. The other little girl explained to her, "All you have to do is get a look at your mom's driver's license. It has all the information about any grown-up you want on it."

So little Jenny sneaked a peek in her mother's purse when she got home, and looked over her license, examining it carefully. That evening, she went back into the kitchen and announced, "I know how old you are, Mommy, You are 36!"

Her mother looked down at her, surprised. "And I know how much you weigh!" said Jenny. "You weigh 135 pounds." "Jenny, where did you learn this?", her mother asked. Jenny just smiled and continued, "And, I know why you and Daddy got a divorce." Her mother just gasped and asked, "Why?"

Jenny replied, "Because you got an F in sex!"
 

fedup2

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While on the topic of children: The way children see things!

NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!

HONESTY
My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago.

KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."

MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"

ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. The various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs, unfailingly intrigued her. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"

DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."

(these last two are my favorites) :lol:

SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!"

BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found", the boy called out." What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear
 

hometowngurl

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When my son was about 3 years old, he had walked into the kitchen at my folks in time to see my mom take out her teeth to clean them. He started screaming that he..... would loose his teeth and the tooth fairy would never find him under his bed. Later we told him that grammy had false teeth. :lol: :lol: :p :wink:
 

sw

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when the Montana cowgurl was about three, we were driving to the corrals on the other end of the ranch where we did most of the AI breeding. We had a guest who had never been onthe ranch before, so all of the eight miles over there she was telling him what everythings name was, the state pasture, Carters coulee, the fish pond, chattering like a squirrel. When we got to the corrals, she proudly said "And this is where my daddy puts the baby calves up the cows butts".
 

fedup2

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LOL! sw, that reminds me of this little story.

A country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby.

It was so far out, there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5-year-old child. The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see, while he helped the woman deliver the baby.

The child did so, the mother pushed and after a little while, the doctor lifted the newborn baby by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get him to take his first breath.

The doctor then asked the 5-year-old what he thought of the baby.

"Hit him again," the 5-year-old said. "He shouldn't have crawled up there in the first place!"
 

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