Auntie Zeituni has written a book. It's called "Tears of Abuse," on account of how tough she's had it.
Have I read it? Of course not. Have you read her nephew's best-seller — Dreams from My Ghostwriter, I mean Father? No one has — it's sold millions of copies, but until two weeks ago, not a single reader got far enough into it to learn that Obama was a dog-eater with "composite" girlfriends.
Anyway, I have the press release on "Tears of Abuse," which describes Auntie Zeituni's journey to the United States "where she faces the unthinkable; failing health and quarantined in a hospital while on vacation in a foreign country."
Vacation? Surely she meant to say "welfare."
"As her story unfolds she becomes a resident of (a) homeless shelter and a subject of deportation."
How dare they! Just because she's an illegal alien, they want to deport her.
Have they forgotten the immortal words of Marsha Coakley: "Technically it is not illegal to be illegal in Massachusetts."
And if you don't believe Marsha, just ask Uncle Omar, Auntie Zeituni's brother, or half-brother, or whatever. Technically, it is also apparently not illegal to be driving drunk illegally in Massachusetts, at least if you're an illegal alien.
Auntie Zeituni was victimized in Kenya but, believe it or not, "she was later victimized in the U.S."
Talk about victimization — do you realize, you actually have to go down to the welfare office to apply for the dole? The welfare office doesn't make house calls. Not yet anyway. Her nephew hasn't been re-elected.
But Auntie Zeituni's story has a happy ending.
" 'Tears of Abuse' reveals how this remarkable woman turns the unfathomable into triumph."
Public housing, on the dole — what else would you call it but a triumph? The inscription at the base of the Statue of Liberty needs to be rewritten. Forget the huddled masses yearning to "breathe free." Now the huddled masses demand to "live free."
Speaking of "the homeless, tempest-tost," Uncle Omar gets his driver's license back today. I hope nobody at the registry is even thinking of slapping that $100 license-restoration fee on this proud Kenyan illegal alien assistant manager of Conti's Liquors in Framingham. That restoration fee is for U.S. citizens only.
And as for you, Auntie Zeituni, I have a tip for you, one author to another. Always seek out your core audience. The state Democratic convention is coming up June 2 in Springfield — thousands of guilt-ridden, trust-funded moonbats, all in one place.
Auntie Zeituni, get yourself a booth at the convention. And above your books, you'll need a small sign that says:
EBT cards accepted here.
http://www.bostonherald.com/news/columnists/view.bg?articleid=1061130780&format=&page=2&listingType=col#articleFull
