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Bank Teller, gender specific instructions

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passin thru

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Sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using his new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.


After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."



MALE PROCEDURE:


1. Drive up to the cash machine.


2. Put down your car window.


3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.


4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.


5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.


6. Put window up.


7. Drive off.


***********************************************************


FEMALE PROCEDURE:


1. Drive up to cash machine.

2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.

3. Set parking brake, put the window down.

4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.

6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

8. Insert card.

9. Re-insert card the right way.

10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

11. Enter PIN.

12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

13. Enter amount of cash required.

14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.

17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.

18. Re-check makeup.

19. Drive forward 2 feet.

20. Reverse back to cash machine.

21. Retrieve card.

22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.

23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

25. Redial person on cell phone.

26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

27. Release Parking Brake.

NudeSunbathing.jpg
 

ranchwife

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something tells me that you are really gonna get it now, passin thru!!!
:wink: :wink: :wink:
ready, ladies????
 

nr

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I HAD to laugh. Sorry. Much of it is so true!!
:lol: I'm still laughing :lol: :lol:
 

ranchwife

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nr said:
I HAD to laugh. Sorry. Much of it is so true!!
:lol: I'm still laughing :lol: :lol:

if only i could recall all of the times i have actually SEEN this happen!!!
:roll: :roll: :roll:
is pretty darned funny! :wink:
 

Hanta Yo

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What can I say? Some of it is true, some not (according to ME!!!!)

I think I'll start a new thread....just so the details are covered. See y'all tomorrow!

Hanta Yo
 

passin thru

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SOME EQUAL TIME

Man is like an automobile.

As it gets older, the differential starts slipping, and the U-joints get worn, causing the drive shaft to go bad. The transmission won't go into high gear and sometimes has difficulty getting out of low.

The cylinders get worn and lose compression, making it hard to climb the slightest incline. When it is climbing, the tappets clatter and ping to the point where one wonders if the old bus will make it to the top.

The carburetor gets fouled with pollutants and other matter, making it hard to get started in the morning. It is hard to keep the radiator filled because of the leaking hose.

The thermostat goes out, making it difficult to reach operating temperature. The headlights grow dim, and the battery need constant recharging.

But if the body looks good, we can keep it washed and polished, giving the impression it can compete with newer models and make one more trip down the primrose lane before the head gasket blows.

Gentlemen... start your engines!! :shock:
 

Jinglebob

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Rev, rev, vroom, vroom! :)

You know that song about being "as good once as I always was"? Well I'm as good as I ever was........................................................................But then I probably wasn't that good to start with! :oops:
 

passin thru

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You know I got two speeds, and if anyone don't like this speed you darn sure won't like the other speed. :lol:
 

the_jersey_lilly_2000

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Ya know what? I pulled my account and went to a different bank when the only drive thru slot they had that my dually would fit thru turned into an ATM machine. They have about 6 other lanes, all built for small vehicles. When they asked why I was taking my account elsewhere, I told em. I know alot of you up north dont drive duallys, but alot do in Texas. Just dont make good sense to me to take the only lane out that they'll fit thru, makes me wonder how many customers they lost just for that reason?
 

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