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BBQ Rules

Faster horses

Well-known member
B B Q RULES
We are about to enter the summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity, as it's the only type of cooking a 'real' man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved.

When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine...

(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

Here comes the important part:

(4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine....

(5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
(6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.

Important again:

(7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine....

(8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
(9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:
(10) Everyone PRAISES and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed 'her night off.' And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women....
 

per

Well-known member
Not so here, woman likes to run the BBQ as well. Man participates in the partaking. I still can't understand why you don't all BBQ all year round. In the winter here man has clean the snow off and shovel a spot to stand job. Man always starts unit as well as makes sure there is propane.
 

the_jersey_lilly_2000

Well-known member
That's exactly how it works here!!!!! Minus a few times he mixes up the sauce. LOL

We BBQ year round.....but have yet to hafta shovel snow to make a spot to stand while doin it. :wink:
 

Denny

Well-known member
Not so here My wife's does'nt BBQ she likes the food but it's my job and by that I mean everything when we grill I do it all she takes the night off. It get's me pretty mad also because on a normal night I have to help cook also. Women
 

Faster horses

Well-known member
Denny, I'm connecting my forfinger and thumb making like a record playing, "MY HEART BLEEDS FOR YOU!"

:lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :nod: :lol2:

MEN!!! :p :wink: :lol: :lol: :lol:
 

Mrs.Greg

Well-known member
per said:
Not so here, woman likes to run the BBQ as well. Man participates in the partaking. I still can't understand why you don't all BBQ all year round. In the winter here man has clean the snow off and shovel a spot to stand job. Man always starts unit as well as makes sure there is propane.
EXACTLY how it works here.
 

Justin

Well-known member
:D :D FS, I had my wife read your post and she said that she didn't know you had been to our house when we BBQ'd.
We had a BBQ after we branded last weekend and that is almost exactly the way it happened. Very funny :wink:
 

alabama

Well-known member
Well that ain’t the way it is around here. In my neck or the woods men do at least two kinds of meals.
One is BBQ and the other is a fish fry. Both are done outside at the BBQ pit which is adjacent to the cook house. I need to send y’all some pictures.
One or two of the guys go to the store to buy what ever was not brought by someone.
It takes several men with most drinking beer and some cooking. We make it all, several Boston butts chopped along with fried taters and cold slaw. Another BBQ is camp stew cooked in a 20 gallon pot.
Left over’s are frozen and distributed to make further microwave meals over the next few weeks.

For the fish fry the men catch the fish and clean and store in the cook house freezer when we get 50 pounds or so we have fish fry. With that we make coleslaw, hush puppies, and fried tarers.
All is served on paper plates with caned cola or beer. When it is done just haul the trash bags to the burn pit and wash the cooking pots and store the grease. Then hose out the cook house.
All the women do is show up to eat or some just have someone bring them a plate.
 

Yanuck

Well-known member
alabama said:
Well that ain’t the way it is around here. In my neck or the woods men do at least two kinds of meals.
One is BBQ and the other is a fish fry. Both are done outside at the BBQ pit which is adjacent to the cook house. I need to send y’all some pictures.
One or two of the guys go to the store to buy what ever was not brought by someone.
It takes several men with most drinking beer and some cooking. We make it all, several Boston butts chopped along with fried taters and cold slaw. Another BBQ is camp stew cooked in a 20 gallon pot.
Left over’s are frozen and distributed to make further microwave meals over the next few weeks.

For the fish fry the men catch the fish and clean and store in the cook house freezer when we get 50 pounds or so we have fish fry. With that we make coleslaw, hush puppies, and fried tarers.
All is served on paper plates with caned cola or beer. When it is done just haul the trash bags to the burn pit and wash the cooking pots and store the grease. Then hose out the cook house.
All the women do is show up to eat or some just have someone bring them a plate.

now that sounds like a plan :wink: :)
 

alabama

Well-known member
Faster horses said:
So when's the party???? :wink: :p :lol: :lol: :lol:

This sounds like a perfect place for a ranchers.net get-together!!!!!!!!!

Y'all pick the date. We cook once or twice a month so most any time will do. I am always looking for reason fire up the pit.
 

Mike

Well-known member
alabama said:
Faster horses said:
So when's the party???? :wink: :p :lol: :lol: :lol:

This sounds like a perfect place for a ranchers.net get-together!!!!!!!!!

Y'all pick the date. We cook once or twice a month so most any time will do. I am always looking for reason fire up the pit.

Do you know anywhere that sells "Whole Pork Shoulders" ?

We want to cook a hundred or so at the community center on July 4 and can't find anyone that sells them.

Most packers now cut the "Picnic Ham" off the bottom of the shoulder and sell the "Boston Butt" on the top as separate pieces.

We want the shoulder left whole.
 

alabama

Well-known member
Mike said:
alabama said:
Faster horses said:
So when's the party???? :wink: :p :lol: :lol: :lol:

This sounds like a perfect place for a ranchers.net get-together!!!!!!!!!

Y'all pick the date. We cook once or twice a month so most any time will do. I am always looking for reason fire up the pit.

Do you know anywhere that sells "Whole Pork Shoulders" ?

We want to cook a hundred or so at the community center on July 4 and can't find anyone that sells them.

Most packers now cut the "Picnic Ham" off the bottom of the shoulder and sell the "Boston Butt" on the top as separate pieces.

We want the shoulder left whole.

I will ask at Carmaks next week. You say you want 100 by the first of July?
 

gcreekrch

Well-known member
When electricity and indoor plumbing came to most of this area in the late 60's an old Norwegian summed it up by saying, "Now we can live like everyone else. Eat outside and SH.. in the house. :wink:
 
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