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Christie---more news----

littlejoe

Well-known member
TRENTON (The Borowitz Report)—At a hastily called press conference today, Chris Christie revealed that he only became aware that he was the governor of New Jersey in the past seventy-two hours.

“Unbeknownst to me, some people I thought I could trust were secretly working to elect me governor of this state,” a visibly stunned Christie told reporters. “I have acted swiftly and fired them all.”

While asserting that he had terminated all of the people who were involved in the scheme to elect him, he said that, if he finds additional conspirators, “I will deal with them accordingly.”


Christie struggled to explain how he remained in the dark about being governor, a position he has held since 2010: “I guess I’m just not much of a detail person. People think I’m a micromanager. I’m not. If a bunch of people are going behind my back and plotting to make me the governor, that’s not the kind of thing I pick up on.”

Reflecting on his reaction to the news that he is the governor of New Jersey, Christie said he felt “angry, embarrassed, and humiliated, but mainly just sad.”

“It’s sad that this was allowed to happen,” he said. “It’s a sad situation for me and for New Jersey.”
 

Tam

Well-known member
Washington DC ( the Borowitz Report)—At a hastily called press conference today, Barak Obama revealed that he only became aware that he was the President of the United States in the past seventy-two hours.

“Unbeknownst to me, some people I thought I could trust were secretly working to elect me President of the US,” a visibly stunned Obama told reporters. “I have acted swiftly to hold them all accountable.”

While asserting that he had done nothing to any of the people who were involved in the scheme to elect him, he said that, if he finds additional conspirators, “I will deal with them accordingly.”


Obama struggled to explain how he remained in the dark about being President, a position he has held since 2009: “I guess I’m just not much of a detail person. People think I’m a micromanager. I’m not I'm an inexperienced incompetent golf loving twit. If a bunch of people are going behind my back and plotting to make me the President, that’s not the kind of thing I pick up on.”

Reflecting on his reaction to the news that he is the President of the United States, Obama said he felt “angry, embarrassed, and humiliated, but mainly just sad as it cut into his golf time.”

“It’s sad that this was allowed to happen,” he said. “It’s a sad situation for me and my golf game.”

Bet you will not see Borotwit write something like this will you little joe? :wink:
 

hopalong

Well-known member
did you ask your daddy oldtimer if you could post Borowitz lil joe?? Opppss you wouldn't have to ask you are ONE and the same. :wink: :wink: :wink:
 

littlejoe

Well-known member
hopalong said:
did you ask your daddy oldtimer if you could post Borowitz lil joe?? Opppss you wouldn't have to ask you are ONE and the same. :wink: :wink: :wink:

I am also the easter bunny. and Yosemite sam.
 
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