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Church Hymns

A

Anonymous

Guest
About those Church Hymns
A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning.

He said "Today, in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach.

Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn that comes to your mind."
The pastor shouted out "CROSS."

Immediately the congregation started singing in unison, "THE OLD RUGGED CROSS."

The pastor hollered out "GRACE." The congregation began to sing "AMAZING GRACE, how sweet the sound."

The pastor said "POWER." The congregation sang "THERE IS POWER IN THE BLOOD."

The Pastor said "SEX" The congregation fell into total silence.

Everyone was in shock. They all nervously began to look around at each other afraid to say anything.

Then all of a sudden, way from in the back of the church,

a little old 87 year old grandmother stood up and began to sing "PRECIOUS MEMORIES."
 

HAY MAKER

Well-known member
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE
AND
THINKING, 'SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD. WELL.. YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE.

MY NAME IS ALICE SMITH AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST
APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST. I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA, WHICH BORE HIS FULL
NAME.

SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD
BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS SOME 40-ODD YEARS AGO. COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY
THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN? UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I
QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.

THIS BALDING, GRAY-HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS WAY TOO OLD TO
HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE.




AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK HIGH
SCHOOL.

'YES. YES, I DID. I'M A MUSTANG,' HE GLEAMED WITH PRIDE.

'WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?' I ASKED.

HE ANSWERED , 'IN 1959. WHY DO YOU ASK?'

'YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!', I EXCLAIMED.

HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY. THEN, THAT UGLY, OLD, BALD, WRINKLED, FAT
ASS, GRAY-HAIRED, DECREPIT SON-OF-A-***** ASKED, 'WHAT DID YOU TEACH?'
 

Shortgrass

Well-known member
Heard a fella tell a story on himself- it was Soapweeds pastor I think- That he had cleaned up, put on a suit and traveled to a hotel in the city. Waiting to be seated in a resturant, he looked down the hall and noticed a man that looked a lot like his dad used to. He was nagged by the thought that he should know him. He stole a closer look, and discovered it was a mirror!
 
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