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Clyde

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rancher

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A farmer named Clyde had a car accident. In court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning Clyde.
The lawyer asked, "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm
fine?'"

Clyde responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule, Bessie, into the..."

"I didn't ask for any details", the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the
question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?"

Clyde said, "Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was
driving down the road...."

The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish
the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway
Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please
tell him to simply answer the question."

By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Clyde's answer and said
to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite mule, Bessie".

Clyde thanked the Judge and proceeded, "Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting, real bad and didn't want to move.

However, I could hear ole Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the Patrolman came across the road, gun in hand, looked at me, and said, "How are you feeling?"
Now what the hell would you say?"
 

Mike

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I,m hurtin' and my sides are splitting. Please stop the torture. :lol: :lol:

A State Trooper in Alabama was called to investigate an accident on a rural road there. The trooper found that the whole "Washington Family" had left the road at a high rate of speed and wound up in farmer Jones pasture. The Washington Family were notorious bootleggers, in and out of jail on a weekly basis.

The trooper then saw a dozer pushing up stumps and summoned him over, had him dig a hole and bury the car with the whole family in it.
When his "Captain" asked the trooper if he checked to see if everyone in the car was officially dead he replied, "one of them said he wasn't, but you know how those "Washington's" can lie."
 

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