A
Anonymous
Guest
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno
● Because of the flubbed oath of office the other day, Chief Justice John Roberts went over to the White House last night and gave Barack Obama the oath again. Some legal scholars were concerned that since the oath was not given properly, we legally did not have anybody at the helm for 36 hours. Hey, big deal — we haven't had anybody at the helm for eight years.
● Even though there was a lot of coverage of the inauguration here, in Iran, state TV completely ignored it — no film, no radio. It was like the inauguration wasn't even happening. No, I'm sorry, that was Fox news.
● Obama signed an executive order calling for the closure of Gitmo within a year. Know how he can make sure it closes even faster? Make it a bank.
● Obama also issued an executive order banning gifts from lobbyists to anyone serving in his administration. In fact, they even went down and removed the gas pump that Exxon had installed in Dick Cheney's office.
And my favorite:
Obama's chief of staff has ordered federal agencies to freeze funding on a lot of projects that President Bush tried to push through in his final days. So for now, The National Scooby Doo Museum remains a distant dream. ~ Conan O'Brien