Bumper stickers,
Honk if you've never seen an Uzi fired from a car window.
If you can read this, my wife fell off! (Seen on the back of a biker's vest.)
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
Heart Attacks...God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?
Boldly going nowhere.
Cat: The other white meat.
Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway
He's not dead, He's electro-encephalographically challenged
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, riddle them with bullets
If you lived in your car, you'd be home by now
WARNING! Driver only carries $20.00 in ammunition
the blonde and the magic mountain (Added On: 2002-05-23 Rating : 3.65 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)
there is a blonde, a brunette, and a red head. they are hiking a long a trail and come up on this guy who is a regualar there and he says to them if u go to the magic mountain and jump off of it and while you are in the air , you say what ever u want or want to be it will instantly come true.
so they go to the magic mountain and the brunette say , well i will try it so she jumps off and yells BIRD!!! and poof she becomes a bird,
so the red head says if it worked for her it will work for me so she jumps off and in the air yells CAT!!! and poof she becomes a cat and runs down,
so the blonde says if it worked for them it will work for me , so she starts running and right before she jumps and trips on a rock and falls over the side and yells SH**!!! and poof , she hits the mountain and splats all over the side of it.