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Cow Gas. We had better watch out.

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Been There

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Diamons S Cattle Co. was talkin' about the horror of methane emitting cows.
Probably twelve years ago a Government agency was actually contemplating putting bags on cows to catch expelled gas so they could measure it.
Fortunately wiser heads must have prevailed but it gave me a chance to indulge in a favored pastime of poking fun at the more stupid things the
Goverment does.


An unwary candidate for the “hit list” of environmental groups is the lowly cow. These people claim that, due to the prodigious amount of cows emitting Methane gas into the atmosphere, they are destroying the ozone layer, and that’s bad news because, in a million years or so, if the ozone layer is destroyed, we’re all gonna get fried.

For recruits environmentalists aim their alarmist rhetoric at the gullible young. The zealous young are a valuable asset to their campaign, particularly young scientists, more particularly hungry young scientists. So it came as no surprise that these two fellers were to get a sizeable bunch of money from Uncle Sam to try to determine the amount of gas expelled by nasty cows.

What these guys have got in mind is to equip a goodly number of cows with bags to catch the gas they expel, well part of it anyhow. There are a couple ways a cow expels gas and I doubt if they can put a bag on both ends. They will monitor the gas from each cow, I suppose adding some for the estimated amount that escaped the bags. By calculating that amount times the number of cows in the experiment for the next couple years, they figure they can get a pretty good idea on how long it will take cows to wipe out the atmosphere.

I figure for such a worthy cause the scientists shouldn’t have any trouble getting help to put the gas catching bags on the cows. There should be plenty of cowboys willing to help save the earth, especially if they can pick up a few extra bucks. They could get the job done faster and cheaper than Government employees and they would also aid the project on offering timely advise on how to conduct the research. And they would know where to find the cows. I know the cowboys could easily get the bags on the cows though they may possibly balk at taking them off.

I’m not familiar enough with the issue to know how they intend on monitoring the Gas. I suppose, technology being as it is, there is sophisticated equipment to do the job but I figure the nose has always been a pretty reliable instrument for detecting expelled gas.

I really think, to be fair to cows, they should include humans in their project. And what if they find humans are endangering the health of the planet more than cows?

Boy are we gonna be in trouble.
 

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