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Cowboys Ain't Easy To Love

OldDog/NewTricks

Well-known member
© 2000 John Phipps

I just Found This:

Cowboys Ain't Easy To Love

Willie Nelson was right. Although as a corn farmer, I am a big fan of cows - nature's best-tasting

and most spectacularly inefficient corn consumers - cowboys are another matter. Call it

professional jealousy if you want, or Pecos envy, but these guys are way too cool for my comfort.

Farmers and ranchers are lumped together in many minds, but have less in common than say,

mechanics and brain surgeons. At least the latter pair have similar fees. Despite seeming

similarities, farmers and cowboys share a planet and that's about it. Consider these eerie

comparisons and stark contrasts:

The Cowboy Way

• Horse named "Old Paint"

• Writes poetry.

• Plays guitar.

• When out on the town, dresses like:

cowboy.

• "Rawhide"

• Marlboro man (deceased)

• Stetson

• $1400 iguana skin boots

• Dodges armadillos

• Rodeo - "Man vs. Animal"

• Collects arrowheads

• "Howdy, ma'am"

• Remington's "Bronco Buster"

• Rolls cigarettes

• Barbeque

• Six-shooter in holster

• Texas Two-step

• Subsidized grazing

• Fancy belt buckles

• Falls asleep by the light of a campfire

• Favorite tool: lasso

• Sons of the Pioneers

• Rides off into the sunset

• Tall in the saddle

• "Riders of the Purple Sage"

• Cowgirls with tight jeans



The Farmer Life

• Truck named "Old Paintless"

• Recites limericks.

• Plays spoons.

• When out on the town dresses like:

cowboy.

• "Green Acres"

• Old MacDonald

• Seed corn hat

• $35 work shoes

• Aims for possums

• Tractor Pull - "Man vs. Decibel"

• Collects toy tractors

• "When’s lunch?”

• Wood's "American Gothic"

• Rolls hedges

• Sloppy Joe

• Pliers in holster

• Dakota Shuffle

• Subsidized crops

• Hidden belt buckles

• Falls asleep by the light of the News

• Favorite tool: "crescent hammer"

• Homer and Jethro

• Wants supper at sunset

• Short in the market

• "A Thousand Acres"

• Farmgirls with tight fathers

Mostly it is just a question of "cool". Cowboys are, and always have been. Furthermore, cowboys

are presumed to be of questionable character - the lovable rascals. Farmers, on the other hand are

expected to be sober, reliable, and humble, or in other words, too boring to live. Who would want

to watch a "Midwestern"?

Even as both professions evolve, the images endure. I have noticed that in a neutral setting, with no

visual clues, people are often surprised they didn't realize I was a farmer. When told, they speak

more slowly and slightly louder, especially women. With cowboys, however, they tend to titter

nervously, as if expecting an outlandishly manly incident at any second.

Meanwhile, cowboys are forsaking multiple-gallon headwear for NASCAR caps, kicking off the

boots for Nikes, and throwing the saddle in the back of the 4WD pickup. In short, they are merging

with their soil-tilling cousins, although loath to acknowledge it.

The ability to play the roles endures, albeit in a subset of the actual culture. Look for picture-perfect

cowboys at horse-addict events populated by buckeroo-wannabees who earn six-figures peddling

real estate in the ‘burbs. Likewise, the bibbed stereotypes of agriculture can often be located at

antique tractor shows - a hobby that requires leisure time and sums usually unavailable to actual

producers. Real farmers (and I suspect real cowboys) probably dress similarly – in whatever was in

the drawer that morning.

It could also be the environment. At least that’s what I blame my personal lack of charisma on. The

West has entire states full of spectacular scenery. My farm is most picturesque on a dark night. This

is because where I live we have only two dimensions – altitude is rationed. A man riding across

Montana looks rugged and heroic against the majestic background. A farmer walking across central

IL strikes you as a person who must be easily entertained.

I suppose we plowboys could morph into a simulation of cowboy coolness. All it would take is the

loss of a few dozen pounds, more tobacco and firearms, less marital fidelity, the ability to move

somewhat rhythmically, uncomfortable footwear, and a wife who wouldn’t slug you when called

“Li’l lady”.

Rules me out.

But V_Key says it Fits Me!
 

Jerry H

Well-known member
well now that's cute
although my granddad told me when i was a little fella that all the real cowboys weere either dead or in jail i still try real hard and dress the part
"cowboy wannabe"
jerry
 

Jinglebob

Well-known member
Jerry H said:
well now that's cute
although my granddad told me when i was a little fella that all the real cowboys weere either dead or in jail i still try real hard and dress the part
"cowboy wannabe"
jerry

And his dad or grampa probably told him the same thing.

Kind'a like how they tell you all the worst buckin' horses and wildest cattle and best hands are all dead too. :wink:
 

DJL

Well-known member
One of my favorite poems, kind of explains how the cowboy thing works!

Broke-Down Cowboy
by Dick Spencer

I'm just a broke down cowboy, an' my time is drawin' near,
So hunker down beside me, for there's somethin' you should hear.

To you I'm just a has-been; a man who's "had his day"
But I'm settin' here to tell you, it was ME who paved the way!

The horses we rode was rougher than yours
an' We was tougher than YOU.
The cattle was bigger, an' meaner an' wild...
an lots more of 'em too!

The rivers was a whole lot wider back then;
an most, a whole lot deeper.
An' a lot more mountains then, than now,
an' all of them was steeper.

When we had a drouth, the dust was drier...
an' the sun a whole lot hotter.
An' grass was as scarce as hens teeth...
an there just wasn't any water.

Winter snows came early an' deep,
an lasted a whole lot longer.
You sissies might'a froze to death,
but we was a whole lot stronger.

There was twenty-eight workin' hour's, then,
in each an' every day;
An' eight or nine days in every week,
an' nowheres near the pay.

We wore plumb through our saddles,
on bad horses that would buck.
We didn't skuff our cantles up,
in the back of a pickup truck.

I can tell it like it was boy's,
no one's around to say I'm wrong.
I'm the last of the old time cowboys,
like you hear about in song.

You kin see I'm gettin' old, lads,
by the way I ramble on...
So keep workin' on your own lies,
you'll be old-timers when I'm gone!
 

cattleluvr18

Well-known member
that could be insulting to a "midwesterner" but sinse this is a cattle forum and i usually dont take things to heavily im not gonna say nuttin. although, ill admit it true. :oops: although some of us "farm girls" can look dang good too.
 

Jerry H

Well-known member
i like that second story
i don't know how many time iv'e heard that story
from old timers in my life
and i guess when i get old i'll most likly tell it like also
until later
jerry
 
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