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Democratic "Leadership" Just another Bad Joke

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Well-known member
Feb 13, 2005
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Wildwood New Jersey
Had Bill Clinton resided in Texas, Ronnie's conviction score would have been 12 currupt Democrats to One...

Clinton's Confession


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Everyone from Dick Morris to Orrin hatch suggests that all will be forgiven if President Clinton confesses and apologizes. Never wanting to disturb an emerging consensus, we've given some thought to what Mr. Clinton might say:

Yes, I lied about Monica, and now that the evidence is growing incontrovertible I have to admit it. I did that to protect my innocent wife and child, and am sure they will forgive me.

And yes, I advised Monica to lie, pretty much the way I advised Gennifer Flowers to deny the same stuff years before. And yes, I put into motion events in which Monica asked Linda Tripp to lie, and also threatened Ms. Tripp if she wouldn't do it. I apologize to the American people.

Now's the time to admit I was in the middle of arranging hush money for my good friend Webb Hubbell. And yes, I put Craig Livingstone up to rail-sacking the FBI files.

And yes, I told my good friend Governor Jim Guy Tucker he was the target of a criminal probe on Whitewater.

And yes, I had my good friend Vincent Foster sign a fraudulent tax return for 1992, omitting the gift I received from Jim McDougal when he assumed the Whitewater debts. I sincerely hope this didn't have anything to do with Vince's suicide.

I apologize to the IRS, and will send a check for the taxes owed.

I want to apologize to Paula Jones for all the loose talk about trailer trash and $100 bills. That's not right.

I guess Kathleen Willey's life is ruined too. Kathy, seriously, I do apologize.

I want to apologize to the staff workers that Hillary and I fired from the White house Travel Office. I should not have let my good friend Harry Thomason talk me into that.

And the IRS audit we ordered up for UltrAir, sorry about that.

My lawyers said then, "Mrs. Clinton does not know the origin of the decision to remove White House Travel Office employees. That was a lie, and I'm sorry my good friend David Watkins had to take the fall for it. I guess that means I need to apologize to Travel Office director Billy Dale for getting the Justice Department to indict and put him through a trial; I felt good that a jury acquitted him in two hours.

And yes, I met in the Oval Office in 1995 with Bruce Lindsey, John Huang, James Riady and Joe Giroir to set up a conspiracy to violate the campaign finance laws. The money received from Asian interests, not to mention AFL-CIO contributions in violation of the Beck decision, were the key to my 1996 election, and for this I extend deepest apologies to Bob Dole. In fact, I'll even apologize to Al Gore for making him my bag man at the Buddhist temple fundraiser; sorry, Al.

And renting out the Lincoln Bedroom to so many people I never met before; I hope you'll forgive me for that, too.

I'm sorry about the drug dealers who snuck in without my knowing it for White House photo-ops.

And Charlie Trie fleeing to China? What more can I say?

For anyone out there who's had to deal with my private investigators, Terry Lenzner or Jack Palladino, you have my blanket apology.

On Whitewater, there's a whole host of people I'd like to apologize to but time permits only a couple.

Jim, you were right about Hillary and me being a tornado in people's lives. I'm trying to fix that here tonight. I'm sorry Susan had to do so much hard time rather than say whether I told the truth at her trial. There were also a bunch of Administration folks who had to resign for giving me a "heads-up" on my Whitewater problems, and I'm real sorry for what happened to them.

And I apologize to that Resolution Trust woman, Jean Lewis, for the smear campaign we waged against her; that was bad advice, and I shouldn't have taken it.

This goes back a ways but it's time for me to apologize to Dan Lasater about that Little Rock cocaine conviction; Roger's testimony against you, Dan, was really the only option; I hope my pardon helped. Federal Judge Royce Lam berth deserves my apologies. My lawyer's' reluctance to come clean with him over Hillary's Health Care Task Force drove him to say a government "should be held accountable when its officials run amok". And he was right about that. I shouldn't have told all those people who testified to the D'Amato committee to claim loss of memory; that kind of set a bad precedent.

And yes it's true that Hillary's $100,000 commodity coup was a well-disguised bribe from Jim Blair and Tyson Foods. I stiffed the Tyson folks in 1979 when they wanted to put larger trucks on Arkansas roads, but have made up for it, and Mr. Blair has owned us ever since.

Finally I want to take this opportunity to apologize for the lies I told to Col. Holmes concerning the ROTC, and I guess I should apologize to the guy who took my place in Vietnam.

So now I can say that I sit before you tonight with a clean conscience.

I ask the American people who elected me to forgive me for misleading them for five years, and I promise never again to tell a lie, engage in illicit sex, obstruct justice or abuse the powers invested in my high office. I hope after the little time we've spent together here this evening that I have earned your trust. God bless the American people for their infinite understanding.

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