• If you are having problems logging in please use the Contact Us in the lower right hand corner of the forum page for assistance.

Divorce Agreement--a worthy read

Faster horses

Well-known member
Divorce Agreement

PURPORTED TO BE WRITTEN BY A YOUNG LAW STUDENT:

DIVORCE AGREEMENT

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists,
Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this
latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know
we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future
generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two
ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is
right so let's just end it on friendly terms.... We can smile and chalk
it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each
taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two
sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be
relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide
other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome
to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll
take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep
Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible
for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).

We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies,
Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys,
hippies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the Alaskan hockey moms, greedy
CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood
.

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine , and we'll retain the right to
invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and
war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault,
we'll help provide them security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam,
Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N.,
but we will no longer be paying the bill.

We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can
take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.
We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll
keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure
you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to
Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World. We‚ will keep Christmas and Easter
and you can celebrate Kwanzaa, MLK, or any other holiday that you wish to
create.

We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty
your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history,
our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like minded
liberal and conservative patriots. In the spirit of friendly parting,
I'll bet you ANWAR which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,

John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
Faster horses said:
Divorce Agreement

PURPORTED TO BE WRITTEN BY A YOUNG LAW STUDENT:

DIVORCE AGREEMENT

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists,
Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this
latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know
we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future
generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two
ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is
right so let's just end it on friendly terms.... We can smile and chalk
it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each
taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two
sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be
relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide
other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome
to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll
take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep
Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible
for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).

We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies,
Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys,
hippies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the Alaskan hockey moms, greedy
CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood
.

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine , and we'll retain the right to
invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and
war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault,
we'll help provide them security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam,
Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N.,
but we will no longer be paying the bill.

We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can
take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.
We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll
keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure
you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to
Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World. We‚ will keep Christmas and Easter
and you can celebrate Kwanzaa, MLK, or any other holiday that you wish to
create.

We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty
your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history,
our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like minded
liberal and conservative patriots. In the spirit of friendly parting,
I'll bet you ANWAR which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,

John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda


GET/HER DONE the sonner the better. They can have washington state, california, new mexico, misssisippi, michigan, ohio, new york for starters. OOPS I almost forgot please take illinois!

When its all said and done they can be called the gay states of the abortionist. :lol:

Then they must have the hawaian islands being as they lied for the illegal in charge.
 

Steve

Well-known member
new york for starters.

a quick trip around New York State would change your mind.... other then the Cities it is a fairly conservative state...

it is not their fault they are outnumbered/outvoted by the largest liberal city in the north east... (The largest urbanized area in the United States is at the heart of the metropolitan area, the New York–Newark, NY–NJ–CT Urbanized Area (estimated to have a population of 18,319,939)


just counting the city.. or the five boroughs is nearly 9 million..

population New York state. 19,541,453

so their voice is not heard above the noise the city makes..
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
Steve said:
new york for starters.

a quick trip around New York State would change your mind.... other then the Cities it is a fairly conservative state...

it is not their fault they are outnumbered/outvoted by the largest liberal city in the north east... (The largest urbanized area in the United States is at the heart of the metropolitan area, the New York–Newark, NY–NJ–CT Urbanized Area (estimated to have a population of 18,319,939)


just counting the city.. or the five boroughs is nearly 9 million..

population New York state. 19,541,453

so their voice is not heard above the noise the city makes..

Well when this is all divided up order some extra fence fence the 18 million off along with all the other states that go with the libs.

I mean they ought to be so happy they for sure would have no need to mix with those that choose to live different than them! :lol:
 
Top