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Divorce agreement

nmhighdesert

Well-known member
DIVORCE AGREEMENT

THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!! WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I'LL VOTE FOR HIM.
OUTSTANDING.

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).

We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N.. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.

We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you ANWAR which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,

John J. Wall

Law Student and an American



P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda with you.
 

Steve

Well-known member
trickle up poverty

seems like the liberals have "invested" alot in that policy it would only be fair they take it with them.. even if it was our money they used... :roll: :wink:
 

badaxemoo

Well-known member
Trinity man said:
Hey! I will sign this. Anything to get these nut bags out of here.

Afraid not.

The divorce was the idea of you wingnuts.

You can sleep on the couch for a week, but then it's time to get the heck out.

We're keeping the house.

Actually, on second thought you can have Utah and Alabama and Nebraska.
 

burnt

Well-known member
While there is much of liberal policy that I do not like , I think that the "Agreement" contains some of the most UN-Christian statements imaginable. Even though it might be given as satire.

I am surprised at some of the responses to it since some of the statements are clearly contrary to what Christ taught his followers.

We could begin with Matt. 25 - "Depart from me, you accursed . . . . I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat . . . naked, and you did not clothe me . . ."

I do not think we can duck out of our responsibility to help those in need regardless of our political stripe.
 

Mrs.Greg

Well-known member
burnt said:
While there is much of liberal policy that I do not like , I think that the "Agreement" contains some of the most UN-Christian statements imaginable. Even though it might be given as satire.

I am surprised at some of the responses to it since some of the statements are clearly contrary to what Christ taught his followers.

We could begin with Matt. 25 - "Depart from me, you accursed . . . . I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat . . . naked, and you did not clothe me . . ."

I do not think we can duck out of our responsibility to help those in need regardless of our political stripe.
burnt....seems like at times you and I disagree,while actually being on the same page...hope that doesn't ruin your credibility :wink:
 

Cal

Well-known member
burnt said:
While there is much of liberal policy that I do not like , I think that the "Agreement" contains some of the most UN-Christian statements imaginable. Even though it might be given as satire.

I am surprised at some of the responses to it since some of the statements are clearly contrary to what Christ taught his followers.

We could begin with Matt. 25 - "Depart from me, you accursed . . . . I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat . . . naked, and you did not clothe me . . ."

I do not think we can duck out of our responsibility to help those in need regardless of our political stripe.
It's just sattire....some of us give plenty to charity except now Obama wants to take away the tax deduction for doing so, therefore making the amount of help being provided by private citizens to undoubtedly be reduced, creating more government dependency. Talk about unchristian.
 
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