Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic
Stimulus' payment.
This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:
Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus'
payment ?
A. It is money that the federal
government will send to taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get
this money ?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me
back my own money ?
A. Only a smidgen of it.
Q. What is the purpose of this
payment ?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the
economy of China ?
/A. Shut up./
Below is some helpful advice on how to
best help the U.S. economy by
spending your stimulus check wisely:
* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka .
* If you spend it on gas, your money will go to the Arabs.
* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or China .
* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala ..
* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea.
* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .
* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
Instead, keep the money in America
by:
1) Spending it at yard sales,
or
2) Going to ball games,
or
3) Spending it on prostitutes,
or
4) Beer
or
5) Tattoos.
(These are the only American businesses
still operating in the U.S. )
Conclusion:
Go to a ball game with a tattooed
prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day!
No need to thank me, I'm just glad
I could be of help.