• If you are having problems logging in please use the Contact Us in the lower right hand corner of the forum page for assistance.

For Men Only

A

Anonymous

Guest
JOKE OF THE YEAR

Two women were sitting together, quietly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

Yanuck

Well-known member
Very Short Story



Man driving down road.

Woman driving up same road.

They pass each other.

The woman yells out the window, PIG!

Man yells out window, B!TCH!

Man rounds next curve.

Man crashes into a HUGE PIG in middle of road and dies.



Thought For the Day:




If men would just listen
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
HAY MAKER said:
Oldtimer said:
JOKE OF THE YEAR

Two women were sitting together, quietly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2 women sittin quietly,is as likely as winning the lottery :D :D :D
good luck

Yep-- and I knew with the title- all the women would look at this one first :wink: :p :p :lol:
 

HAY MAKER

Well-known member
Oldtimer said:
HAY MAKER said:
Oldtimer said:
JOKE OF THE YEAR

Two women were sitting together, quietly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2 women sittin quietly,is as likely as winning the lottery :D :D :D
good luck

Yep-- and I knew with the title- all the women would look at this one first :wink: :p :p :lol:

Yup,its kinda easy to trap em..........just a matter of the right bait :D
good luck
 

WyomingRancher

Well-known member
Yanuck said:
Very Short Story



Man driving down road.

Woman driving up same road.

They pass each other.

The woman yells out the window, PIG!

Man yells out window, B!TCH!

Man rounds next curve.

Man crashes into a HUGE PIG in middle of road and dies.



Thought For the Day:




If men would just listen

Yanuck, HIGH FIVE!!! :lol:
 

Mrs.Greg

Well-known member
Yanuck said:
Very Short Story



Man driving down road.

Woman driving up same road.

They pass each other.

The woman yells out the window, PIG!

Man yells out window, B!TCH!

Man rounds next curve.

Man crashes into a HUGE PIG in middle of road and dies.



Thought For the Day:




If men would just listen
You da girl...... :D
 

Shelly

Well-known member
Yanuck said:
Very Short Story



Man driving down road.

Woman driving up same road.

They pass each other.

The woman yells out the window, PIG!

Man yells out window, B!TCH!

Man rounds next curve.

Man crashes into a HUGE PIG in middle of road and dies.



Thought For the Day:




If men would just listen[

Yanuck, you're a hoot! You go girl!
 

HAY MAKER

Well-known member
Does anyone know why women have short feet ? I have always wondered about that,ole elmo said its so they can stand closer to the stove :D :D .
I saw a woman with big feet once and thought I would compliment her by telling her I bet you can swim mighty good........why yes I can she replied what makes you say that,I see those big ole feet of yours and just figgered you could use em for paddlin in swift water I said,can you believe she got huffy :???:
good luck
 

Yanuck

Well-known member
Just for you Haymaker..........
:gag: :gag: :gag: :help: :help:


How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be open when she brings it.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows
them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
-----------------------------------------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me....'
-----------------------------------------------------------



How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
----------------------------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
-- --------------------------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
----------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to..
------------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men
until they can walk down the street with a bald head
and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
------------------------------------------------------
 

HAY MAKER

Well-known member
Yanuck said:
Just for you Haymaker..........
:gag: :gag: :gag: :help: :help:


How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be open when she brings it.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows
them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
-----------------------------------------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me....'
-----------------------------------------------------------



How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
----------------------------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
-- --------------------------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
----------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to..
------------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men
until they can walk down the street with a bald head
and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
------------------------------------------------------

You ladies are good sports,especially you Yanuck,Ive always said Ranchersnet has the best lookin smartest ladies there are :wink:
good luck
 

Jigger Boss

Well-known member
:p :p :wink:



1. THINGY (thing-ee) n..

Female....... Any part under a car's hood.
Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male..... Playing football without a cup.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n .
Female.... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys..

4. COMMITMENT (ko- mit-ment) n.
Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.!
Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female..... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male....... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female...... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.


AND

He said . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said . . You wear pants don't you?

He said . . .... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!

He said .... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said .....Turn sideways and look in the mirror!


He said . . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking?
She said ..... . . They already have boyfriends.

He said .. Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
 
Top