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for my fellow montanans-----gotta love it!!!

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ranchwife

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RULES TO ENTER Montana
>
>The following list of rules applies to each person as they enter Montana.
>Learn 'em & remember 'em.
>
>1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
>2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road". I drive a pickup
>truck because I need to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get
>dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
>
>3. They are horses, cattle & oil wells. That's what they smell like to you.
>They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-90 and I-94 go
>east and west, I-15 goes north and south. Pick one.
>
>4. So you have a $60,000 dollar car. We're impressed. We have
>quarter-million dollar air conditioned tractors that we drive 3 weeks a
>year.
>
>5. So every person in every pickup waves. It's being friendly. Try to
>understand the concept.
>6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of geese are coming in, we WILL
>shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear
>at the time.
>
>7. Yeah, we eat Walleye & Rainbow Trout. You really want sushi & caviar?
>It's available at the corner bait shop.
>8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious
>holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
>
>9. We open doors for women. That is applied to everyone, regardless of age.
>10. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or you
>can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.
>
>11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats,
>vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and A-1
>
>12. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet, served over
>ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to
>shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
>
>13. High School Football is as important here as the Vikings and the
>Seattle Seahawks and a dang site more fun to watch.
>
>14. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit the water hazards - it spooks the
>fish.
>15. Colleges? Try Montana State or the University of Montana. They come
>outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they
>still wave at passing pickups when they come for the holidays.
>
>16. We have more folks per capita in the Navy, Army, Marines, and Air Force
>than any other state, so "Don't Mess with Montana." If you do, it will get
>your ass kicked by the best.
>
:D :D :D :D :D

had this e-mailed to me by a good friend and could not help but to post it!!! Give the "summer residents" something to read and , therefore, be warned!! :wink: :wink:
 

the_jersey_lilly_2000

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Oh, n I'm postin this for HorseShoer, when that "Texas" one came out, we sat online and he made up a few of his own.....hehehehe

Welcome to Idaho a.k.a. North Texas.....now leave, before this gits ugly!

Since your intent on stayin', let me make you aware of a few things:

1. There's 3 sports in Idaho-North Texas......huntin', fishin, n trappin....if by any chance, ya don't
happen to agree with any of these...ya best keep your mouth shut or ya will be my next trophy
on the wall..................and that lil lap dog too.

2. BEEF~! it's what's fer dinner...and chances are...it's the neighbors beef to boot..we never
slaughter our own...if yer a vegetarian...yer gonna starve.

3. Rush hour can happen anytime of the day on US 93...I suggest ya dont go blowin' yer horn or
cussin' the livestock in front of you....the black top is the shortest way to go and we been at this
project since 6 am and probably won't be finished till dark.

4. The guys on horse back..are NOT tourist attractions...so don't stop n git outta yer car to take
photos...ya may find that fancy pants nikon camera tied around yer neck will also fit up yer not nice.

5. Cowdogs are people too...don't disturb em...even when they're markin' yer BMW tires.

6. Our grandads are all WW II veterans...n chances of you gitin outta town alive in that Toyota or
Mercedes is pretty slim.

7. If you happen to git hurt or injured...yer screwed...there's no doc, no hospital...but we got Dr.Keal Hill..
our vet...he's set a few bones, sewed up a gash or two, and Mary Jensen's C-section was a huge
success..................the hog rings will come out Thursday.

8. Yes...that's my truck, and yes it runs...the original color is the right front quarter panel...them others
is a result of pasture calvin and farm implement fender benders.

9. No...I don't normally dress this way...these clothes was clean a week ago.

10. No, we are not tryin' to expand our cultural awareness....them are wet backs out there movin'
pipe and fixin' fence..they was in poor health and broke when they got here...they're gonna be even
more poor and in werse health when we call INS to send 'em back.

11. I'm a member of the Sawtooth Search n Rescue...we got a failure rate of 49-0 of findin' yer sorry
ass alive when you gets lost...1 more dead yuppie we git a free set of steak knives from the
Guv'ner.

12. We got places named "Deadman's Gultch, Nigger Hill, Bear Canyon, Cat Hills, Wolf Pass, and Lost
Canyon" ...don't ask me how they got their names....jist trot yer happy not nice up there n find out for yerself.

13. Please dont use words we dont understand, like, PETA, BLM, USFS, and IRS, we've blocked them
from our vocabulary...I might suggest you do also.

14. Yup...that's my girlfriend...and yes, that round circle in her pocket is copenhagen, and it's HERS~!!!
by the way...........why are you lookin' at my ole lady's backside?

15. Gates are made to be shut...we make 'em outta wire n sticks cause chances are even with your
engineerin' degree from U of IMA Idiot, you can't figger out which end it opens from.
 

sw

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geez, you two don't have a splash of red on your necks do you? Sounds like the ranchwife is glad that summer is over and all of her neighbors are heading for Palm springs and by the way, my address used to be Highway 93 North. :!:
 

ranchwife

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sw said:
geez, you two don't have a splash of red on your necks do you? Sounds like the ranchwife is glad that summer is over and all of her neighbors are heading for Palm springs and by the way, my address used to be Highway 93 North. :!:

AMEN!!!! Good riddance to the summer residents....may they stay in palm springs, miami, pittsburgh and whereever else they come from!! :roll:
 

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