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zephyrus31

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Hi guys! Well, this one's for the beautiful ladies here at ranchers.net so here goes: I've just made a lil cowboy and his wife (I decided they should be from down South) but not sure if she's got the looks and clothes of a proper Southern Belle.. Please comment on makeup/hair/clothes which should be added or taken away since I'm not so good at woman-izing women.. Thanks girls! :wink:





 

ranchwife

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zephyrus31 said:
Thanks Ranchwife! Does she look like a proper Southener?

being born and raised north of the dixie line, I am not too sure about her southern belle looks, but I have known a few southern ladies and they have all been simply beautiful.....big eyes, heart-shaped faces and they are always so very polite and proper!!!! My biological mishap's 3rd wife was from Florida and she was absolutely adorable!!! No wonder that the south wins so many Miss USA titles!!
 

kolanuraven

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Having been born and raised in the DEEP SOUTH...with lessons on manners, proper and not proper ways.....this may shed some light on your topic!!


SUBJECT: SOUTHERN BELLES

This is for Southern Belles, Ladies who should have been Southern Belles, and those who would be Southern Belles IF they knew the rules.

Someone once noted that a Southerner can get away with the most awful kind of insult just as long as it's prefaced with the words, "Bless her heart" or "Bless his heart." As in, "Bless his heart, if they put his brain on the head of a pin, it'd roll around like a BB on a six lane highway." Or, "Bless her heart, she's so buck- toothed, she could eat an apple through a picket fence." There are also the sneakier ones: "You know, it's amazing that even though she had that baby 7 months after they were married, bless her heart, it weighed 10 pounds." As long as the heart is sufficiently blessed, the insult can't be all that bad.

I was thinking about this the other day when a friend was telling about her new transplanted Northern friend who was upset because her toddler is just beginning to talk and he has a Southern accent. My friend, who is very kind and, bless her heart, cannot do a thing about those thighs of hers, was justifiably miffed about this. After all, this woman had CHOSEN to move to the South a couple of years ago. "Can you believe it?" said her friend. "A child of mine is going to be "taaaallllkkin liiiike thiiiissss.."

Now, don't get me wrong. Some of my dearest friends are from the north, bless their hearts. I welcome their perspective, their friendships and their recipes for authentic Northern Italian food. I've even gotten past their endless complaints that you can't find good bread down here. And the heathens, bless their hearts, don't like cornbread!

The ones that really gore my ox are the native Southerners who have begun to act almost embarrassed about their speech. We've already lost too much. I was raised to say "swanee," not swear, but you hardly ever hear anyone say that anymore, I swanee you don't.

And I've caught myself thinking twice before saying something is "right much," "right close," or "right good" because non-natives think this is right funny indeed. I have a friend from Bawston who thinks it's hilarious when I say I've got to "carry" my daughter to the doctor or "cut off" the light. She also gets a giggle every time I am "fixin'" to do something. And, bless their hearts, they don't even know where "over yonder" is or what "I reckon" means!

My personal favorite was my aunt, saying, "Bless her heart, she can't help being ugly, but she could've stayed home."

To those of you who're still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: take a dose of sausage gravy 'n' grits and call me in the morning, bless your heart! And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, bless your hearts, I hear they're fixin' to have classes on Southernese as a second language!

Southern girls know bad manners when they see them:
Drinking straight out of a can.
Not sending thank you notes.
Velvet after February.
White shoes before Easter or after Labor Day.

Southern girls appreciate their natural assets:
Dewy skin.
A winning smile.
That unforgettable, Southern drawl.

Southern girls know their manners:
"Yes, ma'am."
"Yes, sir."

Southern girls have a distinct way with fond expressions:
"Y'all come back! now ya heaah,"
"Well, bless your heart."
"Drop by when you can."
"How's your mother?"
"Love your hair."
"Well, shut my mouth."

Southern girls don't sweat....they glisten!

Southern girls know their summer weather report:
Humidity
Humidity
Humidity

Southern girls know their three R's!:
Rich
Richer
Richest

Southern girls know their vacation spots:
The Beach
The Beach
The Beach

Southern girls know the joys of June, July, and August:
Swimmin
Summer tans
Wide brimmed hats
Mint juleps
Just Lollygaggin Around

Southern girls know everybody's first name:
Honey
Darlin'
Sugah

Southern girls know the movies that speak to their hearts:
"Gone With the Wind"
"Fried Green Tomatoes"
"Driving Miss Daisy"
"Steel Magnolias"

Southern girls know their country breakfasts:
Red-eye gravy, thicknin white gravy, or (wiennie gravy for the die-hards. )
GRITS-GRITS-GRITS,
Mouth-watering homemade buttered biscuits with Cantalope, Honey Dew Melons, and Streak 'O' Lean.

Southern girls know their cities dripping with Southern charm:
Hotlanta or Adlanna =(Atlanta as outsiders say)
Richmon
Challston
S'vannah
Birminham
Nawlins'
OH! And that city in Alabama? It's pronounced MUNTGUMRY!

Southern girls know their elegant gentlemen:
Men in uniform.
Men in tuxedos.
Rhett Butler, of course.

Y'all know Southern girls are quick on the drawl.

Southern girls know their prime real estate:
The Mall
The Beauty Salon
The Ranch with the longest stretch of river bottom

Southern girls know the three deadly sins:
Bad hair
Bad manners
Bad blind dates

Southern girls know men may come and go, ...........but friends are fo'evah!

G.R.I.T.S. = Girls Raised in The South!

Now you run along, Sugah, and send this to someone else Raised In The South, i.e., Southern Belles, or ANY females aspiring to be GRITS. Even the northern ones, "Bless Their Hearts".


P.S. I personally know some Northern Wimmin who'd make "MIGHTY FINE" Southern Belles if they weren't so deeply rooted by their northern circumstances, " BLESS THEIR HEARTS [/b]
 

ranchwife

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Kolanu----- :clap: :clap: :clap:
My younger sister spent 4 years living in the south during high school with my biological mishap and when she came "home", she was tan...had the soft drawl...and everything was "fixin' to"!!! She still (20 years later) loves to fix grits, hushpuppies and misses the taste of fresh, fried catfish!!! :D
 

PPRM

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If you are ever in Hermiston, Oregon, I think its wednesday or Friday night they have catfish at the Chuckwagon restaurant. I have heard of people planning shopping trips from a ways up in Washington (Save sales tax) so they can have this meal. Includes some folks originally from the south,


Pat
 

kolanuraven

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BINGO!! Everyone that comes here gripes about our humidity....BUT at least for the women....it's a saving grace as the moisture keeps your skin plump and wrinkles arrive on you at a much later date than if you live in a dryer climate.

When I'm out in your part of the world it's so dry I usually end up with a nosebleed for several days before getting adjusted. I drink gallons of water and when someone complains how awful the 20% humidity is for the day....I'm laffing @ them!!!

I'm 44 and grew up having to learn to walk with a book on my head and place one foot in front of the other, that makes those hips sway!! I must match dress to stockings to handbag and NEVER EVER DARE to wear white after Labor Day or before Easter....it's some type of Southern Sin if ya do!!!

I have a friend in WY and from time to time he'll call me up and want to say a word he's found....cause he likes the way it sounds. At times it just annoys the crap outta me because I just don't get it. Point of Fact: most of the drawl and " yonders" you'll hear are pure ElizabethianEnglish from the " old country" as many of these old people kept alive the old words of their forefathers and it continues to this day, so we just didn't make it up.
 

PPRM

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Kolun,

I guess before reading this, I didn't realize you werre female....ok, maybe I am just assuming you are now, LOL,


PPRM
 

zephyrus31

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Wowie! Looks like I'll be hitting the class for Southernese and finding meself a G.R.I.T.S.! And you PPRM, up there; cheeky cheeky! :wink: I love you guys! :D *laughs*

"Well, shut my mouth"! :p
 

kolanuraven

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I'm FEMALE.....hate to disappoint ya there! :lol:

But I grew up in a way with TONS of male relatives( I'm an only child) and neighbors all whom farm or grew cattle....so I can tag calves, clean placenta out of a cow , mow hay and work on a diesel engine with the best of them and harldy chip a nail.


Then, clean up and go to a dinner @ the Gov mansion......that's the trick!

It's an acquired skill to learn how to go from MudHen to Princess in under 2 hours!!
 

theHiredMansWife

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It's an acquired skill to learn how to go from MudHen to Princess in under 2 hours!!

Get an easier hairdo and you can shave it down to 1.5 :wink:

A neighbor likes to tease me about the fact that it doesn't matter if I'm horseback, pushing cows into the tub and alleyway, changing a tire in the mud, or in town for supper--my hair and makeup are always done. :lol:
I might have manure spatters up to my ears, but there's simply no reason I can't start the day with a little mascara and hairspray.
 

kolanuraven

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Erin...we're of the same school of thought!!

One ugly cold morning while the vet had to be called for a birthin' complication on a cow...he said he'd never pulled a calf with a woman wearing make-up !!

I have people tell me, when I'm all dressed up, " well you don't look like]you raise cows!!' or " you're not big enough to handle cattle" ( I'm 5'9 and might weigh 130 after a BIG meal and 6 rocks in my pockets!)

This statement leads to the bigger question..... how are people supposed to look when they raise cattle???

I tell them I have 4 bathrooms in my house and they all are functional and that I clean up pretty good!!!
 

kolanuraven

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Now yer catchin' on there "Z"....Southern women DO NOT sweat!
 

CattleRMe

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:???: I don't do my hair or makeup to push cows, check heavies, or help brand. :cry: Nobody told me the cows care! I'm lucky to get out that early let along get all gussied up and ball caps work wonders. Great our cows are not getting a "pretty girl" but the one that just rolled out of bed, poor things!
 

PPRM

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A lady that can pull off the ballcap look, now that really is hot,


PPRM
 

theHiredMansWife

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Nobody told me the cows care!

*chuckle*

It's not that the cows care, it's the crew I have to put my face on for. It's the same reason I can't go to town without my hair done. :wink:
For me, I simply don't feel dressed if I'm not wearing my basics... And this time of year I need to remind my husband which of his wives is his favorite. :D

Besides, after years of practice it only takes me about 15 minutes to go from shower to back door anyway.
 

CattleRMe

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:???: Wonder what the haycrew would think if I showed up with hair and makeup done? Hard to stay pretty with wind blowing past ya and sweat running down ya. :cry: Once again thank goodness for ball caps!!
 

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