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For Yanuck & Mrs. G....

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Hooks

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Spring Classes for Women at
THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
by Tuesday June 8, 2009

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.


Class 1
Up in Winter, Down in Summer - How to Adjust a Thermostat
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 wks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs beginning at 7:00 PM...
Class 2
Which Takes More Energy - Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Bitching About It for 3 Hours?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Class 3
Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping?--Group Debate.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 5
Curling Irons--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM
Class 6
How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
Class 7
Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?
Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Class 8
Health Watch--They Make Medicine for PMS - USE IT!
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 9
I Was Wrong and He Was Right!--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.
Class 10
How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.
Class 11
Learning to Live--How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
Class 12
How to Shop by Yourself.
Meets 4 wks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering To Take a List To The Store, Avoiding Separate Trips for Each Item Needed.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
 
Hmmmm....somebody's bein a smart butt today :wink:

I'm sure we can get Lily to reverse that list .....
 
there is Extra Credit available for Class 9.................. :wink: :lol:
 
...........heck I ain't stirred the pot in awhile.............................plus there's a whole lota miles between me and them :wink: :lol:
 
New Tuesday Evening Classes for Men
All are welcome - Open to men only

Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants. The course lasts for 4 weeks and topics covered in this course include:

Week One of Evening Classes for Men
1) TOILET ROLLS - DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?

Roundtable discussion

2) DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKETS AND FLOOR

Practising with hamper (pictures and graphics)

3) DISHES & CUTLERY;
DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?

Debate among a panel of experts

4) HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS

Step by step guide with slide presentation

5) LOSS OF VIRILITY

Losing the remote control to your significant other

- Help line and support groups

6) LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS

Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming

- Open forum

®
Week Two - Evening Classes for Men
7) EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?

Group discussion and role play

8) HEALTH WATCH; BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH

PowerPoint Presentation

9) REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST

Real life testimonial from the one man who did

10) IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?

Driving simulation

11) LIVING WITH ADULTS;
BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER

Online class and role playing

12) HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION Relaxation exercises,

meditation and breathing techniques

13) REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN you're GOING TO BE LATE

Bring your calendar or PDA to class

14) GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME

Individual counsellors available

Δ
Week 3 Evening Classes for Men - Repeat of week 1
Week 4 Evening Classes for Men - Repeat of week 2
 
Class 15 (should be Class 1) - Teach your man to do the shopping!
Therefore eliminating the need for Classes 3,4,7,10,11,12, and 13.
Also eliminating that burning question of, "What's for supper"
If he shops, he should already know the answer to that question.

Class 1...is incomplete. It should also include, how to get your man to build a fire in the fireplace.

Class 2....If this whole issue is up for debate. My vote is gonna be...."make em go outside" eliminating the whole problem.

Class 5. No....they can't levitate. You still believe in magic? (where's the class for that?) But.....if you hang your toe on the cord....they can fly across the bathroom at amazing speed...usually breaking that plastic end off that you hold onto while curling your hair.

Class 6....If ya'll watched programs that made any sense whatsoever, we'd not hafta ask questions!!!!

Class 8....This is the real reason Eve fed Adam the apple...

Class 9.....haha they never learn do they. Even tho we always let them THINK they were right. We know better. It's easier tho to let them THINK that.....

Class 14......you could stand a few salads anyway....so no need for the stove/oven classes at the present time.
 
Oh and...one more thang......I do NOT need your assistance while backin a trailer. I can do perfectly fine on my own. Usually one try. When you come out to give instructions....it takes multiple attempts because men apparently can't give directions any better than they take em.
 

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