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France!!!!

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Juan

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I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get
Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get Hitler out of
France either"
Jay Leno.


"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into
Paris under a German flag."
David Letterman

"What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its
national will fighting against Disney World and Big Macs than the Nazis?"
Dennis Miller.


"It is important to remember that the French have always been there
when they needed us."
Alan Kent


"They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. To prepare for
an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a
three-day supply of mistresses in the house."
Argus Hamilton


"Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being
advertised on eBay the other day -- the description was, 'Never shot.
Dropped once.'" Rep. Roy Blunt (MO)


Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been
governed by prostitutes."
Mark Twain.


"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one
behind me."
General George S. Patton.


"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your
accordion."
Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld.


"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it."
Marge Simpson


"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure"
Jacques Chirac, President of France
"As far as France is concerned, you're right."
Rush Limbaugh,


"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is
sitting in Paris sipping coffee."
Regis Philbin.


"The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any
better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit
outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more
stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whisky I don't
know."
P.J O'Rourke (1989).


"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the
1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the
face for it."
John McCain, U.S. Senator from Arizona.


"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because
he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is French,
people."
Conan O'Brien



Only thing worse than a Frenchman is a Frenchman who lives in Canada.
Ted Nugent.


War without France would be like ... uh ... World War II.


"The favorite bumper sticker in Washington D.C. right now is one that
says 'First Iraq, then France.'"
Tom Brokaw.


"The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found
truffles in Iraq."
Dennis Miller


Raise your right hand if you like the French ... raise both hands if
you are French.


Q. What did the mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered
the city in WWII?
A. Table for 100,000 m'sieur?


"Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris? It's not
known, it's never been tried." Rep. R. Blount (MO)


"Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII?
And that's because it was raining." John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv.


The AP and UPI reported that the French Government announced after the
London bombings that it has raised its terror alert level from Run to Hide.
The only two higher levels in France are Surrender and Collaborate. The rise
in the alert level was precipitated
by a recent fire which destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively
disabling their military.


French Ban Fireworks at Euro Disney
(AP), Paris, March 5, 2003

The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the use
of fireworks at Euro Disney. The decision comes the day after a nightly
fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris,
caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender to a group
of Czech tourists.
 

nr

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I saw recently on a tv history channel that even though the French were starving they refused to grow the then new crop called the potato which had caught on in other countries and saved millions from starvation.
Germans began growing the potato when they realized during the 30-Years War that soldiers could trample over their fields but they'd still have a crop underground to eat. But the French just starved.

Do the French have a "No-Change, No-Adapting, No-Confront the Problem" genetic mind-set?
 

Denny

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nr said:
I saw recently on a tv history channel that even though the French were starving they refused to grow the then new crop called the potato which had caught on in other countries and saved millions from starvation.
Germans began growing the potato when they realized during the 30-Years War that soldiers could trample over their fields but they'd still have a crop underground to eat. But the French just starved.

Do the French have a "No-Change, No-Adapting, No-Confront the Problem" genetic mind-set?

They for sure have a no shower no deodorant no toothpaste mindset...
 

Jinglebob

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We are related and all have a tiny bit of some other country in our backgrounds. But those who think alike tend to stick together. That is what makes me so angry with these war protesters/enemy advancers.
 

fedup2

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Received this in an e-mail also. Tried to clean it up a bit without losing the main feelings, hope its enough. This on the recent teenage riots in France.

Subject: President may send Marines to France


President Bush May Send Up To 5 Marines For French Assistance

President Bush has authorized the Joint Chiefs to begin drawing up a
battle plan to pull France's @ss out of the fire again. Facing an
apparent overwhelming force of up to 400 pi**ed off teenagers Mr. Bush
doubts France's ability to hold off the little pi**ants. "Hell, if the
last two world wars are any indication, I would expect France to
surrender any day now", said Bush.

Joint Chiefs head, Gen. Peter Pace, warned the President that it might be
necessary to send up to 5 marines to get things under control. The
general admitted that 5 marines may be overkill but he wanted to get
this thing under control within 24 hours of arriving on scene. He
stated he was having a hard time finding even one marine to help those
ungrateful b**tards out for a third time but thought that he could
persuade a few women marines to do the job before they went on pregnancy leave.

President Bush asked Gen. Pace to get our marines out of there as soon
as possible after order was restored. He also reminded Gen. Pace to
make sure the marines did not take soap, razors, or deodorant with
them. The least they stand out the better.
 

Silver

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Does anyone remember that the only reason there is no Union Jack flying over the white house is thanks to the french? Gratitude don't go very far I guess.
 

Silver

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Big Muddy rancher said:
Hey Silver where you been? HOLIDAYS?

Ha! I wish Big Muddy. Boy, when the phones go down in my neck of the woods they stay down for spell. Had no phone lines at all for over 2 weeks, then they started to work with so much static you couldn't hardly talk on them let alone get online. It's been 2 months! :mad: :mad:
 

zephyrus31

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Silver said:
Does anyone remember that the only reason there is no Union Jack flying over the white house is thanks to the french? Gratitude don't go very far I guess.

Why would the Union Jack be flying over the White House in the first place? That's terrible! :eek:
 

Silver

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zephyrus31 said:
Silver said:
Does anyone remember that the only reason there is no Union Jack flying over the white house is thanks to the french? Gratitude don't go very far I guess.

Why would the Union Jack be flying over the White House in the first place? That's terrible! :eek:

ummmm.... because it used to fly over the white house. Then there was some issue over some tea... remember?
 

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