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PPRM

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A couple that are good friends of ours are going thru some emotionally tough times right now. They have one child, Max (We are his Godparents BTW), but have been going to Doctors and can't have anymore. They are really broke up over it.

Here's the rub. My wife and I most likely won't ever have children. In part, it never happened, but we also have found it very well may never happen. As I sit there and listen to this couple, I get a little angry. The one child they have is an incredibly well behaved little toddler. He is Soooooo Flrity. On playdays, a lot of other kids tell their momma's, "We" goin to see Max!". He is the one other kids single out. Such a blessing. What angers me is it sometimes seems like they only see what they can't have......They already have sooo much.


I wonder at times if some of ranch life sets you up to understand at times there will be losses. To be gratefull for what you do have. Sometimes I wonder what to say to this couple, if anything....


I just needed someplace to vent, so thanks for letting me get it off my chest. May very well keep me from saying something inappropriate,


PPRM
 

Mrs.Greg

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It is funny how people play on the things they don't have and don't cherish what they do have.Print off L.B's post from today,let them read it!They ARE SOOO lucky to have one child,like you said alot of people don't have that chance!!
 

John SD

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Good thread. I suppose it is human nature to view the glass as half empty instead of half full.

I figure every day I have is a bonus since my heart surgery 3 yrs ago. I could easily be 6 ft under with grass growing above me now. Sometimes we need to step back and look at the big picture in order to count our blessings.

PPRM, I can't think of anything you could say that would come across the way you intend, so you're probably better off venting here.
 

CattleRMe

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I feel blessed to have the beautiful full of love children I do. A lot of tears were shed before the first was ever conceived and i do think it's easy to get caught up in what a person doesn't have. There were three of us couples all good friends wanting children at the same time we became a support system for each other. I was the first to finally get pregnant and i recall crying as we told the others. Then two little kids found safty in out friends home and were going to be legally theirs. The last couple had a birth mother choose them about the time I was expecting my second and so finally all of our homes had the children we so longed for. The support system we had for each other was a blessing to have someone you knew that understood exactly what you felt.

So PRM i understand you completly.
 

PPRM

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Thanks for the feedback. i likely won't ever say anything direct, may send some good stories every so often. The wife and I don't sit around and lament anything. We continue to be great aunts/uncles and try to get involved as we can with kids in our church. We both look at it like id was the hand we were dealt so play it best as you can. That is what I think ranch life has really given me, a good perspective.

PPRM
 

Faster horses

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Sometimes it is so good to remember the Serenity Prayer. There is a lot of wisdom in those words.

I recall a fine couple in W. Montana that did not have children of their own, but they always had young people around them that needed their guidance. They gave so much to those kids who came from broken homes that you knew it was God's plan. They ranched, shared, and guided those kids, gave them respsonsibility, and the feeling of having accomplished something in their life. We watched them turn lives around. Did they deserve to have kids of their own? Absolutely. Did they dwell on it? Not at all. Just did what they could and when they could and enriched many lives along the way.

I wish your friends could realize the joy they have in the one child. They are missing some things that could fill them with joy because of lamenting what they don't have. I hope they don't become bitter, because sometimes that happens in these cases.

If we/me/I could just remember, "It is far better to want what you have, than to have what you want."
 

Jinglebob

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My parents couldn't have children so they adopted my brother, sister and I. We may not be related by blood, but we are definately father and son. I am so much like my Dad that sometimes I just want to hit myself.

I know that it is difficult to adopt now a days, but for any who want children and can't have any, I feel like my family is a success story.
 

ranchwife

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Jinglebob said:
My parents couldn't have children so they adopted my brother, sister and I. We may not be related by blood, but we are definately father and son. I am so much like my Dad that sometimes I just want to hit myself.

I know that it is difficult to adopt now a days, but for any who want children and can't have any, I feel like my family is a success story.

You and I are living proof, JB, that DNA does make you "family"....I am seriously considering having my "dad" (the man who has raised me since i was 5 and who walked me down the aisle) adopt me and make it official!!! He was way more of a father to me than my biological mishap/DNA donor!!
 

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