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Future Headlines

Mike

Well-known member
HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029


Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California .

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.


Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.


Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Lichtenstein. No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!


Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking..


George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.


Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only..



85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.


Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.


Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.


Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United States

Senate still blocking drilling in ANWAR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.


Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.


Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.


Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.


New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.


Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.
 

loomixguy

Well-known member
More:.....

Anal Tourette's still blaming Bush for all problems in the entire world.

Everyone now living adopted by either Angelina Jolie or Madonna

Jigs finally has a threesome with Koo Koo and Malice at the nursing home

K State loses to Nebraska for the 887th straight time at Memorial Stadium

Bill Snyder re-hired as K State head football coach for the 9th time. At age 174, Snyder is the oldest living active head football coach since Joe Paterno met an untimely death in an electric scooter accident last fall.
 

jigs

Well-known member
well...I never hoped for ipotence before, but I think I may ....although, that pic of Kola has me wondering if the curtains match the carpet!

I like to see the fear in you Husker fans...you KNOW Snyder will rebuild it, and you KNOW we will be whoopin up on the big pink from Lincoln....
 

loomixguy

Well-known member
jigs said:
well...I never hoped for ipotence before, but I think I may ....although, that pic of Kola has me wondering if the curtains match the carpet!

I like to see the fear in you Husker fans...you KNOW Snyder will rebuild it, and you KNOW we will be whoopin up on the big pink from Lincoln....

No Fear here, Jiggsy...just....well, laughable contempt is too harsh, but pretty accurate. We KNOW Snyder will stroke out before he accomplishes all the goals needed for K State to be competitive.

BTW...ain't it about time to change your avatar? Crybaby Freeman is GONE, just like your hero Prince.
 
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