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G.R.I.T.

passin thru

Well-known member
I got this e-mailed to me this morning - thought you'd get a kick
out of it!


Texas Women, Kitten and Biscuits

Someone once noted that a Texan can get away with the most awful kind of insult just as long as it's prefaced with the words, "Bless her heart" or "Bless his heart." As in, "Bless his heart, if they put his brain on the head of a pin, it'd roll around like a BB on a 6-lane highway."

I was thinking about this the other day when a friend was telling about her new transplanted northern friend who was upset because her toddler is just beginning to talk and he has a Texas accent. My friend, who is very kind and, bless her heart, cannot do a thing about those thighs of hers, was justifiably miffed about this. After all, this woman had CHOSEN to move to Texas a couple of years ago.

"Can you believe it?" said her friend, "A child of mine is going to be "taaaallllkkin liiiike thiiiissss."

Now, don't get me wrong. Some of my dearest friends are from the North, bless their hearts. I welcome their perspective, their friendships, and their recipes for authentic Northern Italian food. I've even gotten past their endless complaints that you can't find good bread down here. And the heathens, bless their hearts, don't like cornbread!

I have a friend from Bawston, bless her heart, who thinks it's hilarious when I say I've got to "carry" my daughter to the doctor or "cut off" the light. She also gets a giggle every time I am "fixin" to do something. And, bless their hearts, they don't even know where "over yonder" is, or what "I reckon" means!

My personal favorite was my aunt, saying, "Bless her heart, she cain't help being ugly, but she could'uh stayed home."

Texas girls know bad manners when they see them:

1. Drinking straight out of a can.
2. Not sending thank you notes.
3. Velvet after February.
4. White shoes before Memorial Day or after Labor Day.

Texas girls always say:

1. "Yes Maam."
2. "Yessir."

Texas girls have a distinct way with fond expressions:

1. "Yawl come back."
2. "Well, bless yer harrt."
3. "Drop by when ya can."
4. "How's yer mama?"
5. "Love yer hair."

Texas girls know their three R's:

1. Rich
2. Richer
3. Richest

Texas girls know everybody's first name:

1. Hunny
2. Darlin'
3. Shuger

Texas girls know the movies that speak to their hearts:

1. "Gone With the Wind"
2. "Fried Green Tomatoes"
3. "Driving Miss Daisy"
4. "Steel Magnolias"

Texas girls know the three deadly sins:

1. Bad hair
2. Bad manners
3. Bad blind dates

G.R.I.T. = Girls Raised in Texas !

Now you run along, Shuger, and send this to ANY females aspiring to be GRITS--Even the northern ones, "Bless Their Hearts".

"Just because you move to Texas does not make you a Texan. After all, if a cat had kittens and moved them to the oven, that wouldn't make them biscuits."
 

the_jersey_lilly_2000

Well-known member
LOL I"m sure you knew when you posted this you'd get a reply from me :p

Texas girls know bad manners when they see them:

1. Drinking straight out of a can. (Must be Dallas, cuz it's ok to drink strait from the can in all the parts of Texas I've ever lived)
2. Not sending thank you notes. (Terrible manners to not send Thank You notes)
3. Velvet after February. (Velvet? we don't wear Velvet in Texas...it's too dang hot)
4. White shoes before Memorial Day or after Labor Day. (Boots, Sugar...we wear Boots year round, n they aint white)

Texas girls always say: (And so do the BOYS and MEN)

1. "Yes Maam." (Only it's pernounced "Yes'm")
2. "Yessir."

Texas girls have a distinct way with fond expressions:

1. "Yawl come back."
2. "Well, bless yer harrt." (mama always said, "Well, bless your pea pickin little heart"
3. "Drop by when ya can." (Stop by anytime ya want to)
4. "How's yer mama?" (and Daddy)
5. "Love yer hair." (Once again, them Dallas girls.....with hair that looks like it was combed with an Egg beater.....bless their hearts)

Texas girls know their three R's:

1. Rich
2. Richer
3. Richest (This has to do with fellers with Oil wells)

Texas girls know everybody's first name:

1. Hunny
2. Darlin'
3. Shuger (And how many times did they get slapped for usin those names?) LOL

Texas girls know the movies that speak to their hearts:

1. "Gone With the Wind" (I've seen exactly 1(ONE) time)
2. "Fried Green Tomatoes" (I've seen exactly 1 (ONE) time)
3. "Driving Miss Daisy" (ok...twice but only cuz it was a rerun)
4. "Steel Magnolias" (I've seen exactly 1/2 of this movie..couldn't sit thru the whole thang)

Texas girls know the three deadly sins:

1. Bad hair (uh huh, cuz of the 70mph wind we put up with 1/2 the year)
2. Bad manners (not askin em, "hows yer mama n daddy doin?)
3. Bad blind dates (Never went on a blind date)

G.R.I.T. = Girls Raised in Texas

"Just because you move to Texas does not make you a Texan. After all, if a cat had kittens and moved them to the oven, that wouldn't make them biscuits."
AINT THAT THE TRUTH!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

kolanuraven

Well-known member
Here's another version!!!

SUBJECT: SOUTHERN BELLES

This is for Southern Belles, Ladies who should have been Southern Belles, and those who would be Southern Belles IF they knew the rules.

Someone once noted that a Southerner can get away with the most awful kind of insult just as long as it's prefaced with the words, "Bless her heart" or "Bless his heart." As in, "Bless his heart, if they put his brain on the head of a pin, it'd roll around like a BB on a six lane highway." Or, "Bless her heart, she's so buck- toothed, she could eat an apple through a picket fence." There are also the sneakier ones: "You know, it's amazing that even though she had that baby 7 months after they were married, bless her heart, it weighed 10 pounds." As long as the heart is sufficiently blessed, the insult can't be all that bad.

I was thinking about this the other day when a friend was telling about her new transplanted Northern friend who was upset because her toddler is just beginning to talk and he has a Southern accent. My friend, who is very kind and, bless her heart, cannot do a thing about those thighs of hers, was justifiably miffed about this. After all, this woman had CHOSEN to move to the South a couple of years ago. "Can you believe it?" said her friend. "A child of mine is going to be "taaaallllkkin liiiike thiiiissss.."

Now, don't get me wrong. Some of my dearest friends are from the north, bless their hearts. I welcome their perspective, their friendships and their recipes for authentic Northern Italian food. I've even gotten past their endless complaints that you can't find good bread down here. And the heathens, bless their hearts, don't like cornbread!

The ones that really gore my ox are the native Southerners who have begun to act almost embarrassed about their speech. We've already lost too much. I was raised to say "swanee," not swear, but you hardly ever hear anyone say that anymore, I swanee you don't.

And I've caught myself thinking twice before saying something is "right much," "right close," or "right good" because non-natives think this is right funny indeed. I have a friend from Bawston who thinks it's hilarious when I say I've got to "carry" my daughter to the doctor or "cut off" the light. She also gets a giggle every time I am "fixin'" to do something. And, bless their hearts, they don't even know where "over yonder" is or what "I reckon" means!

My personal favorite was my aunt, saying, "Bless her heart, she can't help being ugly, but she could've stayed home."

To those of you who're still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: take a dose of sausage gravy 'n' grits and call me in the morning, bless your heart! And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, bless your hearts, I hear they're fixin' to have classes on Southernese as a second language!

Southern girls know bad manners when they see them:
Drinking straight out of a can.
Not sending thank you notes.
Velvet after February.
White shoes before Easter or after Labor Day.

Southern girls appreciate their natural assets:
Dewy skin.
A winning smile.
That unforgettable, Southern drawl.

Southern girls know their manners:
"Yes, ma'am."
"Yes, sir."

Southern girls have a distinct way with fond expressions:
"Y'all come back! now ya heaah,"
"Well, bless your heart."
"Drop by when you can."
"How's your mother?"
"Love your hair."
"Well, shut my mouth."

Southern girls don't sweat....they glisten!

Southern girls know their summer weather report:
Humidity
Humidity
Humidity

Southern girls know their three R's!:
Rich
Richer
Richest

Southern girls know their vacation spots:
The Beach
The Beach
The Beach

Southern girls know the joys of June, July, and August:
Swimmin
Summer tans
Wide brimmed hats
Mint juleps
Just Lollygaggin Around

Southern girls know everybody's first name:
Honey
Darlin'
Sugah

Southern girls know the movies that speak to their hearts:
"Gone With the Wind"
"Fried Green Tomatoes"
"Driving Miss Daisy"
"Steel Magnolias"

Southern girls know their country breakfasts:
Red-eye gravy, thicknin white gravy, or (wiennie gravy for the die-hards. )
GRITS-GRITS-GRITS,
Mouth-watering homemade buttered biscuits with Cantalope, Honey Dew Melons, and Streak 'O' Lean.

Southern girls know their cities dripping with Southern charm:
Hotlanta or Adlanna =(Atlanta as outsiders say)
Richmon
Challston
S'vannah
Birminham
Nawlins'
OH! And that city in Alabama? It's pronounced MUNTGUMRY!

Southern girls know their elegant gentlemen:
Men in uniform.
Men in tuxedos.
Rhett Butler, of course.

Y'all know Southern girls are quick on the drawl.

Southern girls know their prime real estate:
The Mall
The Beauty Salon
The Ranch with the longest stretch of river bottom

Southern girls know the three deadly sins:
Bad hair
Bad manners
Bad blind dates

Southern girls know men may come and go, ...........but friends are fo'evah!

G.R.I.T.S. = Girls Raised in The South!

Now you run along, Sugah, and send this to someone else Raised In The South, i.e., Southern Belles, or ANY females aspiring to be GRITS. Even the northern ones, "Bless Their Hearts".


P.S. I personally know some Northern Wimmin who'd make "MIGHTY FINE" Southern Belles if they weren't so deeply rooted by their northern circumstances, " BLESS THEIR HEARTS "



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