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Happy April Fools Day!

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Turkey Track Bar

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Happy April Fools Day! For a Fightless Friday topic I thought I'd ask what the best April Fools joke you've had played on you, or that you've played on someone.

My favorite wasn't either played on or by me.

I was in college and had several friends who all lived together. Often we would go to their place and play cards, drink beer, and socalize.

One of the guys "Joe" dated another friend "Jane". Well this April Fools day "Joe", 4 other friends and I were playing cards and the phone rings. I answered it and it was "Jane." She asked if "Joe" was there and if she could talk to him. As "Joe" is talking to "Jane" he keeps playing. Pretty soon he starts sweating--so much so it's running off his face and has this really worried look about him. This goes on and on and soon he gets up and leaves. Then all we hear is "Holy S***, You're kidding!!!!!" "Joe gets off the phone with "Jane" comes back in and says you won't believe it....."Jane's pregnant." To say the least he was in shock.

About 5 minutes later "Jane" calls back, "Joe" answers and she says April Fools--I'm not pregnant....we all got a huge kick out of it. And, to say the least "Joe" was relieved. And, they stayed together long enough to be married over 10 years!

So, let's hear you best jokes, and Happy April Fools!

Cheers,

TTB
 

mrj

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We were hoping this one was an "April Fool" joke.......

This morning a son called and said a heifer was down in the creek channel (dry, of course, so water wasn't a problem). He pulled the calf, and everything else came out. Darn inconvenient place to fix a prolapse!

Now "dad" is on the way to the vet with another heifer. We are beginning to think heifer calving is a real bummer this year.

It was only a year or two ago that we had real close to a "perfect" heifer calving season. Don't think anything really is any different with heifers or the bulls we used this year, either. Just the luck of the draw, I guess.

MRJ
 

Turkey Track Bar

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MRJ:

I'm sorry to hear about your tough calving luck. We too have had some real challenges this year---not backward calves like you had, but dumb calves. We've had a couple that suck at least twice then seem to forget how---

Also we had one cow decide it would be great to lay on her calf--needless to say the calf to fair so well. :cry:

And, we've calved out just over a hundred cows now and I think we've had 12 sets of twins! We also may have had a set of triplets, as we had 8 calves out of four cows (all in the same corner of course) but we did lose 3 of those calves. They were the first of the twins we've lost.

So, I hope things start going better for you---it seems like when rains, it pours!

Take care and hang in there!

TTB :lol:
 

ranchwife

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fortunately, fh, this was NOT done to me, but to a close co-worker :shock:

"Kim" is a nurse at a small town hospital and a new graduate, just having passed her state boards...like most new grads, she is excited to try out her skills!! she walks into work last week and finds total chaos in our small facility.....ambulance crew members running around like crazy, doctors (all 3 of them) yelling orders, other nursing staff "searching for supplies" frantically!! "Kim" was informed that there had been a horrible 7 car pile up on a small dirt road about 15 miles out of town with at least 13 critical and 7 serious injuries....life flight had been "notified" and would be landing soon!
okay....#1....this is RURAL MONTANA....very rarely would you find 7 cars on the same dirt road much less so close together to cause an accident!!
#2....she should have known as it was her birthday and her first day on her own as "charge nurse" :wink: :wink:

the look on her face was priceless when she was let in on the "joke"...however, "kim" never forgets and is already plotting for her own joke......can't wait to see what she comes up with :D :D
 

Saddletramp

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Soapweeds youngest son and I have had an on going April Fools Day going on for some time now. Last year we were saddling up and being as he was in school I sort of forgot about it.( momenteraly ) I went to grab my kack and my cinch was stapled to the floor. I thought that little bugger got me good. As I was finishing saddling and saying how he was becoming a worthy adversary and how he came out before school to do this I was really pouring on the poor kid. Then I noticed Mrs. Soap was snickering and realised she did it and I was blaming the wrong party.
 

Soapweed

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Yesterday was a beautiful spring day. We quit a bit early, put the calving cows on auto-pilot for a few hours, and went to town for supper and groceries. Our oldest son was batching for the evening, as his wife was gone for the week-end. He rode along with us, and we enjoyed our time together.

He and four of his cronies had quite a large time on April Fool's night. Somehow they came up with a full-sized stuffed black bear, that had a few imperfections and was a taxidermy reject. It was in a standing position, with two pieces of ready-rod protruding from each of its hind feet. The ready-rod was meant to stick into a base, but it worked good to stick into the ground or slats on a porch, and it looked very realistic. The black bear was about five feet in height, and would have weighed close to two hundred pounds had it been full of guts intstead of styrofoam.

Before the evening was over, the pranksters placed the bear on two ranches, one private residence, and at two bars. They would scratch on a window and run for cover. One rancher saw the critter, and shot into the air with a .357 pistol to scare the intruder away.

Their intention was to place the bear in a calving lot right before a night checker came along. This would have worked, but the new-fangled pickup they were riding in to carry out their plot, had a dome light that wouldn't go off in time. The rancher saw the pickup and "smelled a rat". Anyway, the boys had a good time and finished off the evening by bringing their furry friend into one of the bars and buying beer for the bear.
 

sw

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I know I put this one here before, but my daughter and I were laughing about it again yesterday. Fortunately for mom, she was out of town on april fools day, daughter had all kinds of ideas! :twisted:
 

sw

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One for the record books.

This is a story and believe me it is true,
The best one I ever pulled, I’ll make it rhyme for you.
Several years ago while out checking calving on the cows,
my son and I decided we should have some fun, right now!
Since we live way past the very end of the road,
my wife and I both carry, a pretty heavy load.
Both of us had a veterinary upbringing,
both done C-sections, some were even done while singing.
My wife is a hard worker, let’s git her done right now,
this led to her downfall, and I do mean how.
We were out checking the cows with the spotlight,
she was in the house, getting settled for the night.
Nothing was going on, too peaceful it seemed,
needed some action, or a reason to be mean.
Little did she know as my son keyed the mike,
she was in for a very long, APRIL FOOLS night.
Mom can you hear me, came over the air,
we’ve got a cow in sickly despair.
Gonna need a C-section, get the stuff arranged,
me I choked a cough back, so it didn’t seem strange.
John and I drove around, gunning the motor,
didn’t want her to think that this wasn’t in order.
Spun a few cookies and cussed out the window,
little did she know it was all for the show.
About the time that we thought she had the stuff ready,
we got closer to the barn, keeping the truck steady.
Came to a screeching halt there in the snow,
cursing profanities, making sure she would know.
Can’t get that witch in with a pickup truck,
the calf is already dead, man is it stuck.
Aint goin out on a horse, it’s way way too slick,
I’m goin home, this just makes me sick.
She came running out of the barn cursing,
YOU CAN’T leave an animal that’s here for our nursing,
You fluffer fluffer, you son of a gun,
you leave things like this then, we will never have none.
I told her that any cow with that kinda fight,
should just go die, let’s call it a night.
She screamed and cursed me again and again,
I had to walk away, laughings a sin.
In final desperation, she said I’ll get her in,
and then I just lost it, I saw my sons grin.
I can still see her face again and again,
as we yelled APRIL FOOLS, and then we just ran.
 

Soapweed

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Up until early in 1967, our neighborhood phone sysem was the old one overhead party-line set-up. The family telephone was the wall-mounted wooden variety, which is so collectible today. Dad was over six foot tall and the phone was placed to accomodate his stature. Mom was only five foot two, so there was a stool beneath the phone that she had to stand on when she talked. The thingy that you spoke into had two positions, up or down. It always looked like a nose on the wooden head, and the two bells that made the ringer work looked like the two eyes. The "face" only had one ear, though, and that was the holder where the earpiece was placed when not in use.

In early 1967, the men of the neighborhood erected a new phone system which allowed dial telephones to be used. This also consisted of overhead wires on poles, but there were two wires needed instead of just one as before. The phones almost didn't work more often than they did, and even when they "worked" the noise was bad. We had a "test phone" which we always carried in the glove box of the pickup, to be used when we fixed the phone line and also for emergency purposes if a phone was needed. Many times, Dad had this test phone rolled up in his slicker and had it tied onto the back of his saddle. If phone service was needed, we just had to ride up on a knoll where the mounted rider could reach both wires of the phone line and hook onto these with the phone. This was definitely a forerunner to the present cell phones.

As you might imagine, it was always tempting to have a little fun with this "untraceable" phone. One time, carpenters were in the process of putting new kitchen cupboards in my folks' house. Things were torn to smithereens, and the house was a helter-sketer mess. Mom was normally an immaculate housekeeper, but things were in an uproar. Dear old Dad hooked up the test phone, and in his best impersonation of his brother, talked to Mom when she answered the phone. He acted like there was a very hard-to-hear connection, but convinced her that he had seen a couple carloads of her Minnesota relatives in town. They were on the way to our ranch, and as it was late in the day, they would probably be spending the night with us. Dad and I casually walked up to the house from the short distance away where we had hooked up the test phone. Mom was rallying to the occasion, but was under a very great deal of stress. She immediately put us to work trying to get the house cleaned up. We pitched right in, but soon "lost it" and burst out in gales of laughter. She was was instantly overwhelmed by immense relief, followed rapidly by tears of utter disgust with the menfolk in her life. It was quite some time before Dad and I got back in her good graces.

Dad had commissioned a painting of a favorite old Hereford bull by a very capable Reservation artist. The painting was done, so Dad paid the bill. Then the artist said he wanted to change things a little bit so took the painting back with him. After several months had gone by, Dad drove up to find the artist. The fellow's wife told where he was at, and Dad continued on out into the country where he recognized this man's big Cadillac, and stopped him on a lonely gravel road. The fellow was none too friendly and with menace in his eyes, acted like he was pulling a gun on my dad. Well, a two-bit painting of a Hereford bull isn't worth getting shot over, so Dad decided to just let matters slide.

After a month or so had gone by, we once again hooked up the trusty test phone. Dad disguised his voice and tried to sound like the artist. Mom answered the call, and dear old Dad indicated he was "coming out to get even." Mom was again in a dither when we arrived at the house. She didn't seem to enjoy these escapades nearly as much as did Dad and me. Guess it was redneck humor gone awry.
 

ranchwife

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sw and soapweed-----glad to know you have both lived to tell the tales of your april fool's jokes :wink: :wink: many a man probably wishes he could say the same :D :D
 

Soapweed

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About twenty years ago, our night calver was working on a ranch down in the hills. They were calving out about fifteen hundred cows, and a county road went right through the ranch buildings. One day a newborn dead calf turned up in the calving lot. Quite a bit of cowboy detective work took place without solving the mystery as to which cow the calf belonged. At least a week went by before one of the neighbors 'fessed up to having dropped off the dead calf as an April Fools joke. :)
 

Faster horses

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When we were in Wyoming we had two or three young people working for us. The evening of March 31st they all went to bed. One of the young guys was a lot of fun and loved practical jokes. We thought it would be real funny to put his overalls in the freezer. The next morning he was trying to find his pants and had gone to the porch on a hunch someone had played an April Fools' joke on him. The freezer was in the porch, but his timing was bad. Before he could find his pants someone drove up out front and he was stuck between a rock and a hard spot. He had to make a move somewhere~Should he run outside, or through the kitchen? Since he wasn't sure who had driven up he opted for the kitchen and was probably one of the very first streakers! (He did have his underwear on, however!)

He dreamed up a lot of things to get even with us for that one!!
 

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