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Happy St. Patricks Day!!!

Turkey Track Bar

Well-known member
Top o' the morning Ranchers.net family! I'd like to wish you all a very Happy and Safe St. Paddy's Day!

Cheers (with green beer today!)---

TTB :wink:

PS Remember to wear green or you'll likely get pinched...

That is unless you want to get pinched :wink:
 

Liberty Belle

Well-known member
Happy St. Patty's Day to all my Irish (and honorable Irish!) friends!

May those who love us, love us;
And those who don't love us,
May God turn their hearts;
And if He doesn't turn their hearts,
May He turn their ankles,
So we'll know them by their limping.


Amen and Slante'
 

Big Muddy rancher

Well-known member
Irish Last Request
>
>Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady's after his Sunday morning service,
>and she's in tears.
>He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?"
>She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last
>night."
>The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, did he have any last
>requests?"
>She says, "That he did, Father..."
>The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?"
>She says, "He said, 'Please Mary, put down that gun!'
>
 

Big Muddy rancher

Well-known member
I've Lost Me Luggage"
>
>An Irishman arrived at J.F.K. Airport and wandered around the terminal
>with tears streaming down his cheeks. An airline employee asked him if he
>was already homesick.
>"No," replied the Irishman "I've lost all me luggage!"
>"How'd that happen?"
>"The cork fell out!" said the Irishman.
>
 

Big Muddy rancher

Well-known member
The Brothel"
>
>Two Irishmen were sitting at a pub having beer and watching the brothel
>across the street.
>They saw a Baptist minister walk into the brothel, and one of them said,
>"Aye, 'tis a shame to see a man of the cloth goin' bad." Then they saw a
>rabbi enter the brothel, and the other Irishman said, "Aye, 'tis a shame
>to see that the Jews are fallin' victim to temptation as well." Then they
>see a catholic priest enter the brothel, and one of the Irishmen said,
>"What a terrible pity...one of the girls must be dying.
 

PureCountry

Well-known member
Good 'uns there BMR!

Here's a wee Irish yarn me Ma gave me years back. Been carryin' it around in me wallet e'er since.

Why Worry?
There are only 2 things to worry about - either you are well, or you are sick.
If you are well, there is nothin to worry about. If you are sick, then you have 2 things to worry about - either you will get well, or you will die.
If you get well, then you have nothin to worry about. If you die, you have 2 things to worry about - either you go to Heaven or Hell.
If you go to Heaven, you have nothin to worry about. If you go to Hell, you'll be so dam busy shakin hands with old friends you won't have time to worry. :D

A HAPPY ST. PADRAIG'S DAY TO Y'ALL!! And when you've drunk the tankards dry of green ale, you'll know full well it's time to move on to a wee dram of Grouse! :wink:
 

OldDog/NewTricks

Well-known member
AAAaaa
For the Old Days - with Jerry and friends

:drink: ing at Rowdy's Boots and Saddles Bar :drink: :drink:
(in San Jose) (John Rowdy's Place - Jack and Jimmy's Dad)
 

Liberty Belle

Well-known member
There was a World Science Competition and the three finalists were an Englishman, an American and an Irishman.

To decide the winner, the judging panel gave each of the men a large, hairy spider and asked them to come back in a week's time with a new fact about the spider.

A week expires and the Englishman appears before the panel. "I have discovered that spiders are hairy", he announces. Of course, the judging panel dismisses him immediately.

The American appears before the panel. "Spiders are arachnids" he says. He is escorted from the building.

Finally, the Irishman appears before the panel and places his spider on the table in front of them. "Spider, move forwards!" he commands - and the spider moves forwards. "Spider, move backwards!" he orders – and the spider moves backwards. The spider does the same thing to the commands "right" and "left."

The judging panel sits and waits. Suddenly, the Irishman pulls out an enormous carving knife and chops off all the spider's legs!!!
"Spider, move forwards!" he commands - and of course the spider doesn't move anywhere.

"Spider, move backwards!" he orders - still no movement. "Spider, move to the left" - nothing. "Spider, move to the right" - the judging panel begins to exchange glances. "Spider, move back to the middle" - and the spider has not moved an inch.

"Well?" asks the chairman of the panel. "And what have you discovered about spiders from this experiment?

The Irishman replies, "Spiders hear with their legs!"

HAPPY ST. PATRICKS DAY!!!
 
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