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Haymaker this is a warning, Don't fart in bed.

Big Muddy rancher

Well-known member
>Don't Fart in Bed...
>
>If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know
>and I'll pray for you!
>
>
>
>This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years.
>
>The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting
>
>loudly every morning when he awoke.
>
>The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water
>and make her gasp for air.
>
>Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because
>it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was
>perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one
>day
>he would blow his guts out.
>
>The years went by and he continued to rip them out!
>
>Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for
>dinner and he was upstairs sound
>asleep, she looked at the bowl where she
>had put the
>turkey innards and neck, gizzard, ! liver and all the spare parts and a
>malicious thought
>came to her.
>
>She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep
>and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic
>waistband of
>his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
>
>Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting
>which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic
>footsteps
>as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she
>rolled
>on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she
>reckoned
>she had got him back pretty good.
>
>About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his
>bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on
>his face. She bit her lip
>as she
>asked him what was the matter.
>
>He said, "Honey, you were right." "All these years you have warned me
>and I didn't listen to you."
>
>"What do you mean?" asked ! his wife.
>
>"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts
>out, and today it finally happened.
>
>But by the grace of God, some Vaseline and two fingers, I think I got
>most of them back in.
>
>
 

the_jersey_lilly_2000

Well-known member
No prayers here....cept for some in Mr Lilly's direction in hopes that I don't keep this in mind and try it on him.

Oh I laffed so hard, I am gonna print this and lay it beside the bed for him to read tonight..............
 

ranchwife

Well-known member
the_jersey_lilly_2000 said:
No prayers here....cept for some in Mr Lilly's direction in hopes that I don't keep this in mind and try it on him.

Oh I laffed so hard, I am gonna print this and lay it beside the bed for him to read tonight..............

You and me both, Lilly!!!! Holy cow!! Been a long time since I laughed hard enough to bring the tears to my eyes!!! This one was just too good to keep to myself!

Lilly--if your hubby is anything like mine, this is, indeed, a morning ritual and my hubby did not find it near so amusing as I did....maybe it was the "ending" that got to him!!

:lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:
 

nr

Well-known member
I'm wondering how my 93 yr old father in law would take it!!

Almost tempted. Almost tempted! :twisted:
 

the_jersey_lilly_2000

Well-known member
Well I couldnt wait, I had to read it to him out loud........he laffed till he had tears......
We left to go work on the shreader shortly after I read it to him, and he would just bust out laffin for no reason off and on all the way to town.........Wonder if he'll remember this come Thanksgivin.....can you imagine the looks I"m gonna get from now on when I clean the innards outta the turkey before I cook him? :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:
 

ranchwife

Well-known member
the_jersey_lilly_2000 said:
Well I couldnt wait, I had to read it to him out loud........he laffed till he had tears......
We left to go work on the shreader shortly after I read it to him, and he would just bust out laffin for no reason off and on all the way to town.........Wonder if he'll remember this come Thanksgivin.....can you imagine the looks I"m gonna get from now on when I clean the innards outta the turkey before I cook him? :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
 
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