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Ranchers.net

>Don't Fart in Bed...
>
>If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know
>and I'll pray for you!
>
>
>
>This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years.
>
>The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting
>
>loudly every morning when he awoke.
>
>The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water
>and make her gasp for air.
>
>Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because
>it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was
>perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one
>day
>he would blow his guts out.
>
>The years went by and he continued to rip them out!
>
>Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for
>dinner and he was upstairs sound
>asleep, she looked at the bowl where she
>had put the
>turkey innards and neck, gizzard, ! liver and all the spare parts and a
>malicious thought
>came to her.
>
>She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep
>and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic
>waistband of
>his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
>
>Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting
>which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic
>footsteps
>as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she
>rolled
>on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she
>reckoned
>she had got him back pretty good.
>
>About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his
>bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on
>his face. She bit her lip
>as she
>asked him what was the matter.
>
>He said, "Honey, you were right." "All these years you have warned me
>and I didn't listen to you."
>
>"What do you mean?" asked ! his wife.
>
>"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts
>out, and today it finally happened.
>
>But by the grace of God, some Vaseline and two fingers, I think I got
>most of them back in.
>
>
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